Let's see what I achieved so far...

These were the goals set previously. Let's see how it all went! Red for achievements, Green for flops!

Goals for 2007

1) Lose 7 Kg and for goodness sake, please lose it! Yes…I gained another 2kg this year… - I think I gained another 2... Gross.
2) Visit Gym twice weekly. I must make full use of my payments!!! - Changed my payment scheme, visited Gym even less....
3) Be more confident & spontaneous. Yada yada yada.. - Not up to expectation still...
4) Strike 100 funds per month, or maybe just enough to make my boss gimme bonus! - Didn't strike 100, but getting bonus, but don't think it's too big..hai!
5) Complete baptism. I must be more motivated! - Bad Bad Christian!
6) Visit just ONE nice country. Aussie, Taiwan or Japan..that’s a hard choice to make! - I visited Taiwan!!! But it's not that nice...Went to London on a business trip! Super nice! But travelled alone though...does Redang count too??
7) Save at least 800 per month! Or as much as possible! Motivate me ppl! - This is really bad, I shall not delve further...
8) Spend 80 bucks a week on meals, eat less is the best! - I put in this knowing it's impossible. Hah. It will not be repeated in my resolution for 2008!
9) Join Standard Chartered Marathon – Tentatively 10km. - I didn't sign up at all! By the time I wanted to sign up, the cost was 50 bucks. I reckon such a short distance shouldn't be worth that much. And damn! The lady's singlet was so nice...Grrr..
10) Learn French - Put on hold...
11) Learn Dressmaking! That’s my first step to fashion education! - I started the lessons, but I stopped halfway!!! Bad Bad Bad!!!
12) Take/ signup for CFA/CAIA - I seriously hope I have time to study for this...
13) Hopefully a new work environment - Still at Telok Ayer Street...
14) Take a full body checkup! Hasn’t had time for it in the whole year!!! Maybe it’s the cost that’s making me procrastinate… - I did! And my cholesterol is so high I became a vegan for a while..damn..I should eat healthy food again!
15) Learn more about investments for my future’s sake! - I did, and I tried, until I lost... abit. Haha.
16) Improve my tennis!!! - I think I played even less tennis than I did in 2006...

Wish List 2007

1) New jeans - Got 2 nice skinny jeans
2) One nice designer bag - Got a Kate Spade and Agnes B, but not yet not yet...
3) New mobile phone - Got one phone, but super sucky! Don't buy N73!!!
4) Shoerack - I think I don't need this in the meantime. Haha.
5) New Keyboard - Yeah! Wenyao got it for me~!

OK! My resolutions for 2008 coming up next!

Bye Bye Dan

Dan is on his official last day today. In memory of his existence in the company, I've decided to write him a poem, inspired by his constant name-calling habits (to me!). It's sad that he's really uncreative, cos the name-calling is always circling a certain animal - FJ (Feiju), Ton Ton (the pet pig in Naruto), Xiao Pang (still..like a pig) etc etc. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

So Dan, here's one for you. It's a load of BS for you though. Hahaha.

Bye Bye Dan

Tomorrow comes,
Tomorrow goes,
“Bye Bye Ton Ton”,
“Goodbye too”.

Seven months passed,
And one ton gone.
Thinner than ever,
Dan looks wrong.

Ton Ton's happy
With Dan gone.
Work brings pleasure,
Oh! Thank God!

Dan eats Wan Ton,
Thinks of Ton Ton.
A happy poet,
With a cutesy bob.

Dan Dan packs on Friday morn,
Junks and stuffs on his table formed.
Seven months, a time too short,
But friendship ties, a bond still strong.

Back to school for Dan Dan soon,
“Study smart with A+ too!”
Ton Ton's back to mugger life,
“All the best!”, he wishes too.

Time will pass,
And time will run,
Days pass, weeks rush
Thus and Thus.

Dan Dan Dan Dan, be mindful.
Be strong, be brave and be good too.
Life ahead may be tough for you,
But trust God that he'll guide you through.

"Take care Take care!" Says us too.
All your friends from EH cooed.
"Come back, Come back, visit us soon!"
"We'll miss your jokes, and be back soon!"

A New New Year

A New Year passed
A New Year past
Forthcoming New Year,
Impending fast.

A year gone older,
But not a year mature,
What have I done?
What I have done.

Regrets and achievements
Amidst highs and lows,
Big changes small tempers,
Cower and grow.

Unfinished businesses,
Imminent tasks,
Verklempt looms,
Not eager for start.

A Pessimist to many
But not necessary
A carthargic course
Welcoming new months.

A year of challenges,
A year of greatness,
A year of God's favour,
In faithful time.

Can't believe it's already the start of a new year. And when I though I was still in a New Year, aka 2007. Time really flies. Loads of changes and loads of un-changes. Hah. Wrote a poem to reminisce about 2007. Shall update on my resolutions on a later date!

Christmas isn't Christmas

Christmas isn't Christmas
'Till it happens in your heart.
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts.

So give your heart to Jesus
You'll discover when you do
That it's Christmas,
Really Christmas for you.

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire
A light like a candle's glow
He's waiting now to come inside
As he did so long ago.

Jesus brings gifts of truth and light
And makes them bloom and grow.
So welcome Him with a song of joy
And when He comes, you'll know that

Christmas isn't Christmas
'Till it happens in your heart.
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts.

So give your heart to Jesus
You'll discover when you do
That it's Christmas,
Really Christmas for you.

My other half

I realised most of the blogs I read referred their other half to dear, darling, etc etc. I thought back and found it weird I've never reflected Wenyao in any of my writings in a beloved-meaning tag. Hah, but I realised in my everyday speech, I've called him loads of stuffs besides Wenyao. I remembered once I called out his name, and he looked at me as if I've just spouted vulgarities to him. Then he blankly asked me why I called his name. Funny yah, give "name calling" to a whole new level.

He has loads of names in my dictionary. I call him Hubby, Dear, Papa (my future kid's father). Not forgetting the Oie and Wei's of course.

I guess I just find it weird to pen a tag for him, of cos assuming everyone who reads my blog already know who he is.

I've been experiencing some deaths recently. Got me thinking about what I'm gonna do if my other half goes before me, or vice versa. I'm not a person who deal openly with death. I may seem OK, but I know subconsciously I'm always grieving, and grieving way too long and in too much in denial to want to know it.

So I've thought up a plan. I shall plan the grieving process for my other half. And I hope my other half will do it for me too. *hint hint* My other half told me he doesn't need the stuff which I'm planning, but just in case. I do hope I get it if he should pass before me, because technically I thought of it because I need it!

Anyways, the plan is this. I shall write the stuff which I feel ought to be remembered, and pen them in entries so that after my death, my other half can read it. I think the worse part of losing someone is the loneliness that follow, so by reading what I wrote about us, it could be way easier in dealing grieve on your own. Albiet, to some, it might sound pretty spooky. Haha, but I think that should work for me. Of course, I'll probably slots comments on grieving in between to aid in the process.

Of course, this will only work if I live enough to write entries fit for a 6-month read (my targeted healthy grieving period) So, I shall start planning now!

Such a great idea, I think I'm a genius!

P/S: WY, please start writing after your exam...

My dad is a cheapo, but wenyao is worse..

Was working diligently today until an email popped up at my workplace. I'm seriously diligently working!! Especially since Zhiyuan (aka FJJ) is out for 2 weeks on reservist, and I practially have no one to suan...

Well, back to the email. It was from my dad...subject: Xmas gift and it reads...

Message Classification: Restricted

I have requested CPF Board for waiver of education loan repayment to be made by you. This is the acknowledgement number

Transaction Description
Transaction No. #######
Waiver of Education Loan Repayment #######

My mom was CC-ed in the email, so I sent a reply back

......
Regards,
Zhengyi

After which my mom replied with this.

Such a big X'mas Gift..................
Where is mine?

On seeing this, I helped her reply.

Mummy wants an LV bag. 1000 bucks. 30 years of marriage, that’s $33 per year.. cheap purchase. hahaha.

My dad's turn.

You already have me....... So greedy.............

This time my turn.

She has you but not reaping anything... you are like a plant but not bearing fruits... So the bag can be your fruit...
Anyway this one not considered xmas gift. You already said to be fair to me and bro you will pay our school fees, so technically I paid you extra for the one year! Total $2000!!! You can actually buy her 2 LV bag with that money!

Anyway my extra 200 bucks will be transferred to you still every month, not to CPF but to your personal account, because somebody just asked me to pay for all phone bills...so in a way, that's your xmas gift! And you can transfer that to her xmas bag...

All in all..i'm still the one paying for your gift to her.. so if you really want to give me a gift, you can throw in one LV bag for me as well. Small gift for 400 per month leh!!! Multiply by 12, you get4800!!! =)

OK so one LV bag for me, another one for mummy. Deal!

Mummy, we can go shopping soon!!!

After my long long email, this is his final reply...

No a big deal. I will give each of u a L(ess) V(aluable) Bag.

Me: (-_-''')

When wenyao and Jiajun came and fetch me from work, they had already heard part of the story from Uncle Raymond, whom they met outside my office, while on his way to dinner. So Wenyao was laughing away at my dad's answer.

When we went home after meeting Zeming at Ikea for dinner, he planted this as his msn nick.

I'm so glad my gf wants an LV bag (since it doesn't cost much to buy a Low Value bag)

Diao..my dad say less value, he said low...OMG!

Anyway I realised I forgot to put an important person in my Xmas list. Shitty!

My dad bought tickets for the Disney Live Mickey Magic Show at the indoor stadium for my kiddy cousins. Will be bringing 5 of them for the 330pm show this Fri. So exciting!!! Can't believe how my parents and I are going to handle 5 kids together! Gin (11), Sheanne (8), Keanne (5) Zidane (4) and Kai-ann (2). Bah! We are so adventurous!!!

The Wake

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
A human soul, wrecked body, apart.
Tears aflowing, wailing chimes,
Give and take, it all began.

Footsteps heavy, towards the wood,
A log carved out, a figure put.
A Mother's cry, a Brother's grief,
And Father's heart breaking in between.

Friends gathered, 12 long years,
Hellos exchanged, rootless words.
Awkward silence fill the air,
Smiles and shares to break the scare.

Time to go, and time to grow,
Who's to know 24 was his foe.
Goodbyes said in a hasty pace,
But memories and feelings will remain.

Thou shalt start blogging again...

Realised I haven't been blogging for quite some time. I love to write, that's why English is my favourite subject. I was shuffling through some old folders on my comp recently, and came across articles and papers I wrote during school time. It alarmed me when I finished reading them. I like how I write, or rather used to write. Sad!

It's amazing how 2 years seem to pass so fast. I lost some abilities and I gained some. But I do hope the interest in writing is not waning. I shall start blogging again for a start. Typing is way better than manually writing. Haha.

Just came back from a Taiwan trip this week. Places are interesting enough, but the tour is really bad. By tour I refer to the package which we took, the tour guide was horrible. I shall not delve further. But on a sidenote, I've decided to write in a feedback letter just to highlight my displeasure..eh hem...displeasures.

I read my last entry and to follow up on the vegan thing. Yes, I did last one week, and even better I lasted a month, eating only veg and fish plus minimal seafoods. Hah. I'm a pseudo vegan, and I want to try keeping it that way. Bad thing about it, I realised I end up eating the same food over and over again, it got quite sick but I persisted. Until I went Taiwan. OMG. There had been a flood recently, and all the crops are submerged. Turned out veg became more expensive than meat, and there was lots of meat. I had to eat some...well, I think I ate too much. Hah, but seriously, it's difficult to be a vegan in Singapore. But I shall try!!!

Well, just to update what I've been doing. I guessed it's all still the same. Good and bad, but I'm beginning to be pretty rooted to what I am doing currently. Weekends are spend heading out, or watching shows or just bumming around. Funny thing is I like it! It's the pure pleasure of a hard week's work!

Work's been the same. Some good some bad. My colleague is leaving me. Seems like every year end is a time for departure. And everyone I'm good at leaves or left. OMG, is it me or the job?! Hohoho.

Alrite, my shows are loaded, I will try to blog interesting stuff again! Although I suspect I'm the only one reading it. Hah!

What I have been up to recently...

I went for a mandarin musical last Wed on the 29th - 天冷就回来. The script was inspired by all the songs that 梁文福 wrote. I was apprehensive at first, because I don't really listen to his song, but the turn out was better than expected. I seriously recommend it, although the male cast was a lot better than the females. And I mean way better..the females' voice wasn't that stable though. But the story plot is nice. I heard the tickets were totally sold out, and the only available ones are in 2009!

There is this poem which they read during the play. By EE Cummings. And I like it.

anyone lived in a pretty how town

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did.

Women and men (both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed (but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
with by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men (both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

It seemed that the poetry style of Cummings always used non-orthodox grammer. Without the caps and all, with phrases jumbled here and there. But this poem supposedly talked about a man name someone and a woman named noone, and how minute human life is.

Got this book from Borders a few days back - Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. Made me so determined to become a vegan. Tried it for 2 days and found it so hard to buy food that is meatless! So I decided to be a pseudo vegan, I shall only eat seafood! I was super put off by the methods that the book described on animals which were killed, which was mainly cows, chickens and pigs. Super grossed out. I feel inhumane eating them. Plus of course unhealthy too, judging by the methods used to rear the animals. Wenyao said he'll give me a week and see how long it'll last. Anyway my cholesterol is super high, so I might as well try. Hah.

Let's see how long I'll last. Being a vegan also meant I should be proactive on animal rights activities. I just bought 2 pairs of leather shoes without thinking twice... Hah. It's bad huh.

Omg I realised I haven't written in such a long time, I've forgotten how to blog. My language is so uninteresting...Omg I used the word uninteresting..so boring..*roar*puipuipui*

INSEAD

It has been an agonizing 3 days. I was told of a course this week at INSEAD (Singapore Campus) only last Thursday and within minutes of knowing I was going for the course, I was hurrying typing away my application for an approval from INSEAD to attend the seminar on alternative investments - Mastering Alternative Investments (MAI)

I had read a lot of bios of fund managers which described their education in INSEAD. I never thought much about the education hub, except that it must be something great. So when Irene asked if I was interested to head to a seminar at INSEAD, I jumped at the chance. Apprehensively of course.

I was hasty in my application. I needed to send through a description of my objectives to attend the program plus my role in eurekahedge, plus a freaking long form in 15 mins! The course coordinator was leaving for the day and everything had to be processed by friday, which was 6 hours away... I was told they had to read through what I wrote before I could be admitted into the program. Unaware of the importance of the write-up, I typed everything in point form! Until I spoke to a colleague from sales (we are the 2 persons going for the program), when I realised she actually wrote in an essay for the admission, and it took her 2 days. I must say I'm lucky they processed it through and confirmed my application at the last minute. Funny though, seeing her gek reaction when she heard I wrote in point form. *evil face*

I was so worried about the program because I seriously thought I was not up to it. Unfortunately, I was so right! The next day everything was processed and I was given my access to their online program portal. After viewing the participants list, I knew I was in deep shit.

There were about 18 participants. All of them investment professionals holding high appointments - CFOs, CEOs, Fund Manager, Govt Authority. My role as an Assistant Head seemed relatively unimportant. And I was totally freaked out.

I was so quiet in all the 3 days of the program. I was taxed out. The readings were horrible, and I had to complete them within the weekend and I was rushing a proposal for a South African Counterpart due on Monday. Not to mention, this week was end month, and due to the restructuring of pay scheme, I had to increase my average funds this month.... and they were lagging like mad. I wasn't performing at all.

I was both happy and worried to be in the program. The exposure was great. I learnt things I never knew and wouldn't have expected to learn. They were difficult at my standard. Furthermore, I felt really guilty I couldn't assist much in the discussions. Mostly, I felt ashamed because I knew so little about my industry. But on the bright side, at least I added knowledge after the program, albiet some concepts are still hazy. Still, I think the marginal knowledge made all seemed better.

We had extra readings everyday after the program. Imagine my stress level when I had to read them every night. Even my mom was concerned. I had stopped studying 2 years back! And there I was, highlighting notes for the first 2 nights..

I was so glad it was over today. I think I broke into the brightest smile once the professor announced it was all over! My achievements - an INSEAD cert (I'm officially an alumni of the MAI program....) an ugly group photo, and a whole load of information I need to re-digest... Hah. Nonetheless, it was an experience not to be missed! I didn't enjoy it, but having an INSEAD stamped on my name..I think it was worth it? Hah.

*Thanks to all those who prayed for me!*

Being Fat and its negative associations

So just what are the negative associations with being fat? Let me think..an individual who's fat usually showcases these behaviors (from my experiences) - gluttony, incompetence, bad-looking, eyesore, unhealthy, unloved, sad, unconfident, ugly, bad personality?

Sad to say, I realised all these are just my experiences. I've seen people on the bigger side looking happy, very competent, confident, very much loved, pleasant to the eye, and having wonderful personality.

I've been getting these comments & suggestions from my parents in the past one month (or maybe past few years???):
1) So... when are you slimming down?
2) You should go on a diet..try eating 2 small pieces of these wheat biscuits for breakfast...
3) Did anyone offer you a seat on the MRT?
4) When was the last time you exercised?
5) You will become a potato watching TV like that, short and round..
6) Try commenting on your own fats..
7) You're still eating?
8) Didn't Wenyao comment anything on your fats?
9) He'll leave you if you don't do anything about it.
10) You'll be prettier if you weigh less.

Does anyone have any other comments on my excess fats? Sometimes I feel they will be happy if I'm anorexic or bulimic. I don't think it changes the way I am as a person. I just feel really depressed whenever they comment on such issues. Can't they see I find the comments rude and abhoring? I'm not complaining, why should they? Why can't they just accept me for who I am.

I look bigger, so I look different, so I might look less pleasant. But did that change the way I'm treating the family? Did that change the way I work in the office? Did that made me bad as a whole? If I do please let me know. These comments just made me avoid walking pass my parents while they watch TV, wearing clothes which are much looser, going for meals with them, carefully selecting clothes which do not make me look pregnant, and having them see me munch on food...

I feel judged in a very bad way. I seriously think to be a good daughter, I must be anorexic or bulimic..Why do I feel like it's starting all over again...

Introducing...DAN the MAN...

I have a new colleague in the office. Real perk-me-up ever since he joined us. Cos when I'm bored I bully him, and he can do nothing about it!!! His suaning really helps to strengthen my brain amidst the mundane work. BTW his nickname is Fei Ju 1 aka FJ1. (I'm FJ2).

These are the few conversations we had on skype...

While he's working US hour....
Dan says: :(
Zhengyi says: yyy?
Dan says: cos i am working now
Zhengyi says: no worries..i m watching bleach here
Zhengyi says: can pei u
Zhengyi says: (devil)

While I was complaining about the shower head malfunction...
Dan says: sad case
Dan says: i tink you got to go 7-11 buy mineral water to clean yourself
Dan says: alternatively lick like the cats
Zhengyi says: omg
Zhengyi says: my dad went and dunno press wad then it work
Zhengyi says: now i scared i go bathe then will get electrcuted
Zhengyi says: pray for me!
Zhengyi says: ok i'm gonna bathe now
Zhengyi says: in case i dun come back alive
Dan says: Dear god
Dan says: pls... do as you wish
Zhengyi says: just want you to know that you are not so bad a co-worker
Dan says: relieve her of suffering
Zhengyi says: ok i take back my word
Zhengyi says: goodbye my friend
Dan says: leave me something!!!
Zhengyi says: i left u wonderful memories my friend
Zhengyi says: that should be the most precious thing ever
Zhengyi says: i'm alive!!!!
Zhengyi says: but u can keep the memories


While a fund manager called him on skype and he has no phone connected to his PC...
Dan says: hey this guy added me
Dan says: then he call me
Dan says: but i cant answer
Dan says: i tink my extraction sucks
Zhengyi says: u take my phone
Dan says: he says want to go thru with me
Zhengyi says: the phone at my pc tower
Dan says: tink nvm i talk to him tml
Zhengyi says: u wan u can take my phone
Zhengyi says: nv use one
Dan says: i use it to call you later
Zhengyi says: if u going to use it to call me at 3am to go siao bian it's ok
Dan says: no lor
Zhengyi says: my bladder system very good, will wake me up if i need to go one[10:07:21 PM] Dan says: i am not so bad
Dan says: i call at every haf hr to remind you
Dan says: to cover blanket
Zhengyi says: wah so good ar
Zhengyi says: i wait for ur call lor (if u can get through while i'm logged off)[10:08:40 PM] Dan Dan says: handfone shld be fine too rite
Zhengyi says: most likely off
Zhengyi says: haha
Dan says: let me see
Dan says: this number shld work rite 6565 6902
Zhengyi says: u'll get an uncle shouting at ur ear
Dan says: i will speak politely
Zhengyi says: u'll still have him shouting at ur ear
Dan says: i can ask him to cover your blanket
Zhengyi says: u'll still have him shouting at ur ear
Zhengyi says: i think u dun wan that
Zhengyi says: most likely u'll go deaf
Zhengyi says: then tomorrow cannot do calling
Zhengyi says: wont do any of us good


While I tried to psycho him to gain weight..that's how he got to be FJ 1 btw..

Conversation with steph
[11:12:02 PM] Stephy says: i got very nice cashew nut cookie
[11:12:06 PM] Stephy says: u want to try?
[11:12:06 PM] Zhengyi says: bah
[11:12:08 PM] Zhengyi says: dun say liao
[11:12:11 PM] Zhengyi says: i'm not in office la
[11:12:14 PM] Zhengyi says: at home already
[11:12:14 PM] Stephy says: eh!
[11:12:23 PM] Stephy says: i keep thinking u are!
[11:12:25 PM] Stephy says: hahahaha
[11:12:31 PM] Zhengyi says: only dan
[11:12:34 PM] Zhengyi says: u can offer him
[11:12:37 PM] Zhengyi says: he's in denial mode
[11:12:41 PM] Stephy says: ya i saw dan
[11:12:41 PM] Zhengyi says: he thinks he's not hungry
[11:12:46 PM] Stephy says: ahahahaha
[11:13:13 PM] Stephy says: i should bbq my chicken wings in the oven
[11:13:20 PM] Zhengyi says: hahaha
[11:13:21 PM] Stephy says: then walk into the room
[11:13:26 PM] Stephy says: sit there & says
[11:13:40 PM] Stephy says: Zee says u are not hungry, so doesnt matter where i eat my wings

Next..on Dan's window..
[11:14:45 PM] Dan says: idiot
[11:15:11 PM] Dan says: you ask steph to give me chocolate!!!!
[11:15:32 PM] Zhengyi says: i didn't!!!
[11:15:42 PM] Zhengyi says: (angel)
[11:15:53 PM] Dan says: hmm
[11:15:54 PM] Dan says: funny
[11:16:06 PM] Dan says: she said you said i am in denial mode
[11:16:13 PM] Dan says: then offer me snacks
[11:16:19 PM] Dan says: and i had to take one chocolate
[11:16:33 PM] Zhengyi says: i tell her to offer u chicken wing
[11:16:34 PM] Dan says: sian... i look rounder suddenly

Next on Stephy's window again..
[11:15:54 PM] Zhengyi says: he scold me eediot
[11:15:56 PM] Stephy says: ahahahaha
[11:15:59 PM] Zhengyi says: say i ask u to give him
[11:16:04 PM] Zhengyi says: i ask u to give him chicken wings
[11:16:06 PM] Zhengyi says: not choc
[11:16:08 PM] Zhengyi says: not enuff!
[11:16:11 PM] Stephy says: lol
[11:16:18 PM] Stephy says: really ar?
[11:16:25 PM] Stephy says: he think he will eat?
[11:18:43 PM] Stephy says: tell him that little choc cookie have 75 calories
[11:18:48 PM] Stephy says: FYI
[11:18:50 PM] Stephy says: ahahaha

Needless to say, I pasted the calories to him. FYI...

Hahaha!!!! Going for supper with WY now~!!!

Redang dang dang dang...

Typically boring. I know...I'm being really negative about this..but there's really nothing to do there. But but but..the main aim is to spend time with WY, to rekindle the romance, to relax, and I hoped I did..

Took the 2230 bus to Shanbandar Jetty (Terrangganu) on Thursday night. The bus ride was bumpy and freezingly cold! Nonetheless, I did manage to sleep here and there during the ride. One of the best moments though, was watching the sky full of stars! The routes were so dark I cannot imagine how the driver could see. Heng heng, I arrive in one piece at the jetty.

We reached the Jetty at around 630am, whole 8 hours!!! The earliest ferry that will take us to Berjaya Redang Beach Resort is at 1030am!!! *Peng*After an agonizing wait by napping, watching cutesy cartoons, ds-liting, we finally set off on the ferry. I dozed in and out while watching Kung Fu! Reached there in 90 mins, and a hotel bus had to ferry us to the hotel, which took another ten mins or so. Saw some cows and goats along the way. Rustic idyllic experience coming my way!

The room was fantabulous. All that for the amount we paid for I should say the room was worth it. We got the hillview rooms, and no thanks to Zhiyuan, who kept saying hillview rooms cannot see the sea, because if so, it doesn't make sense for the categorization of hillview & seaview rooms. Fortunately, he was wrong!!! Hillview rooms can still see the sea! And even better, we can see the hills too. Hahaha! I believe the seaview rooms were on a level above us, which is stupid money to be paid, cos you still need to climb more stairs. But I should give a pat on the back for choosing these rooms, because the area where our chalets were situated, is the kind of place you should run to in times of a tsunami alarm. High level you see...it's on the hills. Good job done!

Boring people us, we spend the rest of the afternoon sleeping until we got to dinner! (Wenyao said we come here to relax, so sleep is a solution...)

Next morning we headed for our round island snorkeling. I freaked out I tell you. The fishies are OK, it's just that the water is way too clear, I see everything so well! And freaking wenyao kept holding these creatures what seemed like jelly fish eggs. I was totally freaked out!!! I was shouting at him to drop them, and he kept saying they were harmless. One woman in the water yelped when she saw him doing that, kept yelling to her bf that he's touching the jelly fish. He is the courageous one, not me! I did manage to touch them at one point, kinda eeky. And he says its nice. Weird man.

We went for 4 short trips. The last one was the best. The corals were beautiful. I should say I was pretty freaked out to a point where I wasn't enjoying when I should be. I realised I get even more scared when I grow old, which is quite bad..

The fishies were the same. I dunno what their names were, so they looked all the same. Corals looked dead too, but the boatmen said they're alive. Hah. Funny. The water around was super clear. Much better than Tioman. If you stopped moving for a while, the fishies think you are part of their environment and comes nearer to you. I screamed a few times when I caught them clamouring up to me. Water there is both cold and hot. Wenyao said corals grow amongst warm and cold currents, and that's why we have that in the areas we snorkel. Amazing!

We spent the whole afternoon on the beach. Berjaya's beach is man-made. Which means it's especially amazing! Shallow shores with crystal blue waters plus soft sandy..erm..sand. The coastline is distinct with the white of the sand and the blue of the waters. And to add to that, I can see the whole view from the balcony of my room! And the balcony has two deck chairs which you can sunbathe in (which sadly weren't utilised)!

I've been growing fairer while working in Raffles Place, and I took this chance to tan myself. I fell asleep while lying on my front (trying to tan my back) and the result was horrible. I came home with a back burn (for me) and a not-so-tan front. Pui!

Because Berjaya's the better resorts (more stars) in Redang, there were loads of ang mo. It's a very family oriented resort. Most of the adults our age go to the few on the other side of the coast, called Pasir Panjang, which are less expensive and more rustic. (By that I mean, not having nice rooms like ours! Very practical kind lah) We ate at the restaurants for our meals. The food is expensive, judging by Malaysia standards, and we got sick of eating fine foods after second day lunch. Thinking of what to eat was a chore! Haha.

The third day it rained the whole day. By then we were too sunburned to tan anyway. So we did nothing much but played table soccer, congkak, watched tv, and bummed around. Relaxation turned out to be a hindrance because we were trying to find ways to relax. Or rather it was just me, I got more stressed than relaxed!

The morning of the third day we tried to head to Pasir Panjang by trekking..without a guide. Attempted to cut through the forest, but was so freaked out by the flying hornets and wasps, plus we got lost in the beginning as we attempt to cut through the jungle. We (I) ditched the plan and headed back. As we were trekking back, we saw these goats who had roamed up the hills. They looked plain silly. The moment they saw us, they just stopped their munching activities and stared at us. And we stared back. This continued until we start moving. The moment we stopped, they stared back. They look so cute, and Wenyao took a picture of me with them (staring at us..) Just the right pose for phototaking!

Come to think of it, I ate loads of muttons at the restaurants, and I hate to think that I was eating their comrades....so sinfully nice...

We decided to book a water taxi instead to Pasir Panjang, but we could only go with 4 Pax, and we had only 2. So we were kinda forced to ditch the plan, and the day was spent bumming around still. (Hint: go with 3 other friends or another couple to guarantee more activities)

Came back the next day after an agonizing 16 hour journey (I really regretted not taking the flight!!!), from 7am boat out to reaching my home at 2330. This was an OK trip I think. I realised I have become a not-so beach person. Wenyao said we could relax by spending time beaching, and there I was, bitching about anything that comes along the way. Well, well, shall post pics when they are available. (They are available now..I'm just too lazy to post..haha)

OMG

Seems like I'm the only person at home on a Saturday. I think tomorrow too. From the looks of it, all I know have something on.

I seriously have no life without WY. Now it's left with Supernatural (the series I'm chasing now), DS Lite (from Zhiyuan), and books (wenyao got me some sometime back). Truly a geek.

It has been a real family day today! Went out in the morning for tennis with my dad, only 45 mins, but I'm perspiring like mad from the cruel weather. Headed for the spa after that. Agonizing massage I should say. Haven't been doing it for a long long time, she said my shoulders are really tense from my deskbound job! Pui! Which brings about another point, I should seriously start sending resumes (after my redang trip next week..hah)!

After spa, we headed for Ivins @ Binjai Park. Super cheap. Ate a lot and costs only 30 bucks in total! Highly recommended. It's peranakan food btw. Good and cheap!

Headed for Granny's place after that. My cutesy cousin Kai-Ian is there. So adorable! Plus my little niece Jamie was there as well. It was supposed to be nap time when we arrived, but the kids got excited and skipped their nap. It was really hilarious looking at them bumming around. The TV was showing this documentary on marine life on the shores of Singapore, and Kai-Ian keep going "Look! Look!", pestering us to look at those magnificent (albeit horrendous) creatures.

My adults around kept asking them to go nap. Jamie was intend on sleeping, but Kai-Ian wasn't. So being the older (by 1 year) relative, Jamie was asked to coax Kai-Ian to bed. She kept calling out but he continued watching TV. And suddenly she took this piece of namecard from the table and went towards Kai-Ian. She kept asking him if he knows what is written on the name card, and he shook his head. Jamie said she knew how to read that (mind you, she's only 3!) and after pausing to catch his attention, Jamie proudly announces: "The words here says Go To Bed!" That really got me stumped! Funny how kids work!

My mum wanted to go to Sheng Siong Supermart after that. She's greatly influenced by this variety show on Sunday night which seems to give a lot of money away! We took Jamie & Kai-Ian there as well, plus the maid too. It was really fun pushing them around. But Kai-Ian got so tired he slept on the baby sit of the trolley! So funny! I bought him yakult to bring his attention back and he kept dozing off while sipping it! Had to hand carry him back home, but that's not without leaving a trail of blimey on my blouse. He drools...

Went to my maternal aunt's place after that. It was a celebration of her bday. Had steamboat but didn't seem to eat much. Played with her daughter Joy, and heard that she just learnt to walk. Kids are growing up fast!

I haven't really been spending time with my parents when WY was around. Now that's he stuck in Tekong, I realised that I'm around my family most of the time. That brings about another point, are my friends getting lesser? Hmm...that's not such a good news right? Hah.

Disappointments

I hate disappointments. Not any disappointments, just stuffs which are said to be done and not done. The funny thing that I realised about disappointments is that, I tend to piss the disappointer (person who disappoints), when I'm the disappointee (person who kenna disappointment). This is so hugely unfair.

So here are the 7 pointers to note:

1) No last minute changes. Please, I got to have time to plan other stuff. I cannot sit still, so don't expect me to sit at home and sulk while you disappoint.

2) Plan ahead. To the disappointer, plan ahead before you give more disappointments. Saves alot of things, say, a relationship.

3) Learn from mistakes. One disappointment is enough, SERIOUSLY!

4) Quit trying to victimise yourself. If you are the disappointer, you are the person at fault. So don't be angry at anyone, esp. not the disappointee (she's the victim here mind you).

5) Disappointee tends to be less reasonable after series of disappointments. In case you don't know, this is usually the case. Quit trying to ask for more understanding when all she gets are disappointments after disappointments, all because she is understanding. Care and understanding will be the last things on her mind.

6) If you disappoint people, make up for it. Please. Take for grantedness is a nono. Humans are not saints, they feel bad emotions.

7) Non-chalance comes at a price. Too much disappointments!

ARGGH!

Better than Ezra - A Lifetime

Allie woke up 8AM
Graduation day.
Got into a car,And crashed along the way.

When we arrived late to the wake,
Stole the urn while they Looked away,
And drove to the beach'
Cause I knew you'd want it that way.

And you were standing
On the hood of the car
Singing out loud
When the sun came up.

And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.

And that REM song was playing in my mind.
And three and a half minutes
Felt like a lifetime

It felt like a lifetime

And you move like water
I could drown in you.

And I fell so deep once,
Till you pulled me through
You would tell me
"No one is allowed to be so proud
They never reach out
When they're giving up."

And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.
And that REM song was playing in my mind.
And three and a half minutes
Felt like a lifetime

Are you sitting in the lights?
Or combing your hair again,
And talking in rhymes?
Are you sitting in the lights?

When I got home, heard the phone,
Your parents had arrived.
And your dad set his jaw
Your mom just smiled and sighed.

But they left soon
And I went to my room.
Played that disc that you'd given me,
And I shut my eyes
Swear I could hear the sea.

When we were standing
On the hood of your car
Singing out loud when the sun came up.

And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.
And that REM song was playingIn my mind.
And three and a half minutes,
Three and a half minutes,
Felt like a lifetime.

Busy

I've been really overwhelmed since the start of this year. With the new takeovers, everything seemed to be in transition. Which probably means I'm doing a lot more work with a lot of backlog on my own responsibilities.

The list of things to be done seemed neverending. It would perhaps be rather negatively portrayed to see myself complaining about the load when it is just 2 weeks since I took up the new appointment. Preparations were underway late last year, I think I just need a breather. It feels so damn long.

With the approaching of the London conference, I'm both apprehensive and excited at the same time. It's a new experience, but the preparation work is so much more than I expected. Of course, with the fear of screwing up the meetings, it just brings the weariness to a greater height.

I think I need a break, it's scary to think I have never-ending work. Gross.

Jinxed

I cannot imagine how fucking jinxed I am today. The day hasn't been going well, and I was really looking forward to a great and relaxing weekend, but I guess I must have stepped on someone's toes really badly, cos I seriously cannot believe how jinxed I was...or should I say..the others around me too, unless that someone has voodooed me. Gross.

1) Woke up at 830am to head off to Amore for Kickboxing class at 930am. Stayed over at Wenyao's place the previous night so he drove me to the gym at about 9am at the Woodlands Branch. Was driving for 15 mins when Wenyao started to comment if he was going the right way. He drove to Woodlands many times already so there shouldn't be much problem about getting the right route there. I thought we were on the right track until I saw the sign "PIE(Changi Airport). We had to detour back all the way to head to Woodlands. I was 10 mins late for the class.

2) As Wenyao was driving pass Bt Timah turning towards Bt Panjang, he accidentally crossed the Red Light, and there was a fricking CAMERA!

3) When I got to the Gym, I headed to the locker room straight away. It was then when I realised my lock was moldy! (Members bring their own lock to use the daily locker.) It must have been because of the recent rain since the lock is always in the shoebag, which is always out in the Balcony. The lock just simply refuse to budge. I can't even move the buttons, much less to say about opening the lock. I took my shoebag to the class instead. (I put the rest of the stuff in Wenyao's car while he went to the bank, so only the shoebag.)

4) The instructor for the Kickboxing class was teaching Kickboxing in SLOW MOTION! OMG! How bad can that be? After the disastrous journey there, I had to finish a class in the most agonizing way. I had always wanted to attend this class because of the optimal timing but it was always fully booked. Imagine my surprise when I managed to book it at the last minute! (And my slot was last!) Goodness. And I couldn't hear her instructions, much less see her body movements. Bloody many people. Plus, she didn't explain the footwork. Gross.

5) After the agonizing class, realised my PURSE was MISSING! This is the WORST straw of all. It makes the whole day seemed awfully awfully BAD. I still had it before I attended class. I took it out of the shoebag to take out my member card at the elevator before heading to the class. AND IT'S GONE!!! I keep everything in the purse. My cards, my taxi claims, and I believe there are some card vouchers inside too! Gross. And the purse is the COACH purse I got from US. Fucking hell. And I bet there are some other things inside too. But I just cannot rememeber them. Gross.

6) We had planned to go East Coast for inline skating in the afternoon. And we headed there. I was quite apprehended because I wasn't feeling that good after all the happenings in the morning. I cannot take it if bad things continue to happen seriously. In the end we headed down, and guess what. Wenyao stopped in front of my tracks for the most number of times, especially when I was accelerating (he usually don't do that) and I almost tripped and fell on the occasions!

7) We skated for about an hour 15 mins, and the target was 2 hours though. The reason we skated for the 75 mins was because when we passed by the Hawker Centre, we could feel drops of rain, then we turned back. It was quite disappointing. When we headed back, the rain stopped and the sky cleared....

8) We decided to take a walk after that, since our feet were pretty sore from the skating. We were sitting down by the beach and watching families camping out. There was this man trying to hook up his hammock. And at that point I told WY that I've never tried a hammock, and commented if it would be dangerous. He said it wasn't. So I looked at the man tie the hammock but I realised one side of the hammock was slipping. I told WY it looked dangerous, but he said it'll stay. Then he added that I'm so KPO cos I keep minding other people's business and commenting. I just said I'm concerned because what if his daughter (a toddler) sits on it with him and fell. Next minute I know, he carried the toddler and sat on the hammock with him. Sure enough, both of them fell to the ground. And the baby wasn't sitting on his lap, she was sitting beside him. So she just went slamming to the ground with her dad beside her the moment the rope slipped. Wenyao said I just cursed them and somehow I felt true. There is another example below.

9) We headed down to Steamboat buffet along Liang Seah Street. (I was planning skating and buffet since Monday!) We went to Shaw Towers to park our car. Upon entering the carpark, and next in line for the carpark payment, I asked WY this: "Whose fault will it be if the car in front slides back and hit us?" He replied: "Of course his fault la!" Okies fine. When it was our turn, we drove straight to the machine in front, but the counter lady (the old fashion payment) told us to reverse cos the machine is not working. So WY reversed and paid. Next thing I know, he stepped on the accelerator and almost crashed into the car at the back. I told him I wouldn't say anything else bad for the day...

10) Came back home with WY to helped my dad mop the floor, saw an msn message from a person whom I last expect to see, and truth be told, not very keen to see that too. It was just at the moment when I walked into the room!!!! And that person just had to msn at that exact time. Coincidence you tell me. I say I'm just very jinxed!

Gross. I just hope the purse will come back. I'm staying home cos I think 10 jinxes is enough to conclude my day...

End 2006

This is the last day of 2006. The year passed so fast. I don't even think I achieved anything in the whole year. Went through my goals and wishlist for 2006, should see what I've done! Italics are the one written at the beginning of this year! (Red for non-achievement, green for accomplishments)

Goals for 2006
1) Lose 5 KG and maintain! (Not really possible..but well..whole world going skinny so I must pretend I'm trying to do that. Hah!) - I didn't lose 5kg, in fact I think I gained 5kg instead..sad!
2) Be more confident & spontaneous - Erm..still trying
3) Strike 100 funds per month (at least 5 per day) (Judging from last week..abit not possible..sonz) - I think I only strike that for 2 months, but well, the number of funds I got in sounds quite an achievement already.
4) Workout at least 2 times per week - Hahaha, nope
5) Complete Baptism - I visited church even less this year..bad bad bad...
6) Visit one nice country with wenyao, tentatively Japan =) - I didn't visit Japan, he went without me! But, I visited US and Bangkok with him, plus I went Shanghai & Hong Kong too! Quite an eye-opening achievement ay?
7) Save 300 per month (pte account) - I saved more than that! Until I spent them all for travels!
8) Spend 50 per week (meals) - Didn't achieve that. My weight gain is the proof!
9) Spend 40 per week (transport) - Yeah I think I achieved it, wenyao drove me back most of the time! His fuel is not in my budget. Hahahaha.
10) Be a nice person! (Gossip less, more understanding, more christlike etc etc) - I seriously don't think so...
11) Join standard chartered 10 KM run! Hahaha. - Yeah I did that!!! Completed in 1hr 10 mins 12 seconds!
12) Start something (ZEP – Zee Entrepreneurship Program) - Nah!
13) Learn French - Soon I hope!
14) Start fashion education - It's on my list next year!

WishList 2006
1) Inline Skates - I got one pair!!! Plus one for Wenyao!!!
2) Bowler Bag for Gym - Don't need this, money saved!
3) Tiffany Bean Necklace - I didn't remember this was on my list! Good! Money saved!
4) PDA - Don't need this too!!! Even better, more money saved!
5) Upgrade PC - I didn't upgrade! But Wenyao got me a new one for Christmas!!!!!
6) Buy a nice designer bag - next year next year!!!
7) Ultimate Fricking Expensive Fruit Juicer (for mum) - She didn't need that..I save the money!
8) New watch (Armani, Diesel, Adidas) - I got an Armani one from US, dirt cheap!
9) Shoe Rack - Still looking for a suitable one!
10) New jeans - I got one from US, but looked quite obiang, I should be having this on my list next year again...
11) A top from Gstar - I shopped at Gstar, the tops were horrigible! Lucky I didn't waste it, but I think I spent the money on something else as a substitute =p
12) Win a lucky draw prize from Uncle’s annual company dinner! (This year I must win something!) - I didn't win anything...but I have a chance next year!
13) Funky specs (Polo Ralph) - No Polo Ralph, but I got a Tommy one! Looks quite lian though.
14) Funky shades - I got 2 from US, one my colleages said look like a bumble bee, another one never had a chance to wear..tsk tsk

I shall have a new list for 2007. I hope it would be a year of good changes though!!! Happy New Year everyone!

Freedom to type

Read some articles recently on the slamming of the RJC girl who seemed to have elitist attitudes towards ppl who are less "elite" than herself. Suddenly realised the reason blogging could sometimes feel so difficult when at times you just wish to rant out the hurts and unfairness in the world. Created a blog so I could rant and rave about things irresponsible and tabooed to the public ears. Guessed a blog is no longer a private column to shout about life but perhaps the evolution of a public portal with comments link serving as a forum to slammed what you typed as right or wrong.

What's wrong with a girl venting her fustrations? Seemed like anyting with the subject of "class", "race/ethnicity" and "notion of how our government should work" are constantly being put to show on our local newspapers. Where's the freedom to even type? I find myself thinking hard of my construction of sentences in case they sound wrong to some people. Haha.

Well, maybe that's why blogs are usually people putting photos about their life, trying to hype up the mundane stuffs that are constantly the same everyday. Where's the will to think? I can think about the poor, which links to the bureaucratic proletariat and bourgeoisie's society, which makes you wonder why things work the way they do? I guess most stuffs should be kept thinking in your brain. Then again, why do you need to pen them down? Let's just say it's a form of release.

The issue about the RJC girl is her thoughts, not her physical features. For those who had made fun of her womanly figure, woe be to you that one day you may have the same exact humiliation! Seriously, if she was pretty like Dawn Yang maybe she would have gotten better reviews, but then again, many would propose she might have gone through plastic surgery. Well well well... The world is materialistic. Ppl think differently, so spare a thought for this young abberation. I'm sure non-elite like us may not have the liberation to experience what an elite like her may have to go through in our own belief of her "hassle-free" life. She needs an output, just like many of us I guess. She's just been made an example and I really pity her. So many examples around lately, e.g. Tammy NYP (and my gf's bf actually recognize her out on the streets!) How the hell are the examples gonna carry on with their lives?

The government always says Singaporean are bo chup. But seriously, we just like to chup the deviant examples in our life, always the first to point out what it should have been instead. That doesn't get us into trouble I guess. Haa.

I'm not hating her like the fellow cyber commentators, just thought it's sad she's made an example. But well, consequences are high. So mouths will be kept shut. What happens to the future of Singapore? More control is what I feel.

Read George Orwell's 1984. Sad book, parts of it true though.

Can you understand me?

Können Sie verstehen? Ich verstehe mich nicht manchmal. Ich möchte zurück gehen, zu möglicherweise swei Jahre Rückseite. Ich war dann jünger. Ich fühle lebendiger. Möglicherweise habe ich keine Verantwortlichkeiten. Ich bin nur zwei Jahre älter, aber Ich glaube, wie Ich sehn Jahre älter bin. Ich hasse meine Arbeit manchmal, aber hasse finanziell instabil sein mehr. Ist das tragische Leben so? Ich bin nicht sicher, warum wir lebendig sind. Gott hat Pläne, die Bibel sagt, aber Ich kann nicht, lang es nimmt, um die Antwort zu kennen. Möglicherweise bin ich von alles gerade müde. Ich hoffe, daß jeder wie ich denkt. Mindestens ich weiß, daß ich normaler Mensch bin.

TV night!

I used to love Monday because it was TV night! And I never had a TV night in ages! Came home early with a backache, sat on the sofa immobile and switched to channel 18. It was splendid! Hadn't watched TV in a really long time. Caught Everybody loves Raymond and Yes Dear!!! Super Shiok! Wished I had more of this. Hahaha.

Five for Fighting - World

Got a package full of Wishes
A Time machine, a Magic Wand
A Globe made out of Gold

No Instructions or Commandments
Laws of Gravity or
Indecisions to uphold

Printed on the box I see
A.C.M.E.'s Build-a-World-to-be
Take a chance - Grab a piece
Help me to believe it

What kind of world do you want?
Think Anything
Let's start at the start
Build a masterpiece
Be careful what you wish for
History starts now...

Should there be people or peoples
Money, Funny pedestals for Fools who never pay
Raise your Army, Choose your Steeple
Don't be shy, the satellites can look the other way

Lose the Earthquakes, Keep the Faults
Fill the oceans without the salt
Let every Man own his own Hand
Can you dig it baby

What kind of world do you want
Think Anything
Let's start at the start
Build a masterpiece
Be careful what you wish for
History starts now...

Sunlight's on the Bridge
Sunlight's on the Way
Tomorrow's Calling

There's more to this than Love

What Kind of world do you want
What Kind of world do you want

What Kind of world do you want
Think Anything
Let's start at the start
Build a masterpiece

History Starts Now

Be careful what you wish for
Start Now

FAT

Some ppl often commented how conscious I am about my body size. I'm not thin, but I'm not extremely overweight either. Perhaps I should explain a bit why I get seriously worried whenever I seem to put on negligible weight when others feel I still look the same.

Was on the way home from grocery shopping with my parents today when we stopped at a traffic light. My dad pointed to this lady who is walking next to the road and asked me "What will you do if you grown to be her size eventually?" The woman was bigger than me, very much taller too. I said, "I'l never be her size cos she's way taller than me." Knowing my dad was talking about the horizontal size rather than the vertical size, I just wanted the conversation to stop right there. He prompted me again and I just said, "Do you want me to tell you I'll probably die than to have a size like that?" Then he went like, "I'm not saying that." So I said "what's your point in asking that question?"

My mother chirped in and said, "He's saying maybe you should start slimming down a bit if you don't wanna end up like her." She's always like that. Asking me to eat less, do more yoga, things which will make be supermodel like.

My dad defended himself, "I never said that, I was just asking a question." Then I asked again, "What's your point?" Then my mom, being the translator of his heart chirped again, "You are not fat, you are OK, we just think you'll be prettier if you lose that few KGs." Then I said, " You said I am Ok, so why do you want to change how I look now?" Then she went, "You'll look nicer if your tummy was flatter." I just stopped talking.

That is the reason why I am obsessed about my weight. I get this questions from time to time. I even have to suck in my tummy whenever I walk pass them while they are watching TV. I get comments that will drive my whole day to the lowest point just like that. It doesn't mean I'm not happy about how I look. Maybe it just feels how unacceptable they are about how I look. Sometimes I think my parents will be the happiest ppl on earth if they learned I was anorexic.

Seriously, how am I supposed to constantly be unconscious about how my body changes when I have eyes watching me whenever I am relaxing. A tummy out will send tongues wagging. Trust me, I sound exaggerated but it's true. I go my granny house wearing the clothes that cover the essential areas that send ppl talking.

The first thing I get when I reached Singapore from US was my mom saying," I thought you said you didn't eat well over there, I think you came back bigger." What a welcome home speech.

So if you see me not eating, or eating less than usual, please do not comment on me losing weight. I just don't want to gain another pound, only to get more and more depressed with each comment. Worse, please do not tempt me with any food because the consequences are dire. Not me being unhappy about myself, but others being unhappy about how I look.

I was so pissed off after the whole conversation, I just told them they were teaching the wrong things. I wouldn't want my kid to feel unacceptable just because she has more pounds than others. That doesn't make her uglier or more stupid, or someone of bad character. So please think twice before you comment about ppl putting on weight or less weight. Seriously, I don't think it will have any effect on the person's character, on her role as a child, a friend, or a colleague.

My friend once commented that one can never say another person is fat. I was curious and asked why. He said this kind of comments makes one do irrational things which will have serious consequences. I agree. Google karen Carpenters on the web.

I try to not care about how I look, but I need the help of others around. So stop saying I'm conscious when you are the one making my conscious. In fact, some ppl just don't care, and I'm really learning to be someone like that. Maybe my parents should know why I like to hang around with wy more than him. He accepts me way off than them. At least I can sit in front of the tv munching chips the whole day without anyone commenting on how much my tummy is expanding.

Monster

It's funny how big a person will have an impact on yourself when you barely know anything about her. She turned me into a monster and I really really hate her.

I'm back!

I'm back on the Monday that just passed. Haha.

All in all, this US trip was an exciting yet tiring trip. Seriously, it's more tiring for wenyao than me, haha, with all the constant driving and all!

After school last Monday, wenyao and I took off to the beach. Before that we headed to this hotdog joint called Pink's. This place is a celebrity hotdog point. There's so many celebrity pics inside. Very small place but apparently, their hotdogs have attracted people from all walks of life. They are famous for their chili, which is unlike the chili we have in Singapore. It's more like rendang I should say, only it's not spicy at all!! The thing is, there is no chili in US. The only one we found was chili sauce in a thai restaurant! Not too hot too!

We headed to Santa Monica Beach and Venice Beach after Pink's. Loads of people playing with their dogs, blading, cycling, jogging. All sorts of relaxation you can think of! Something I cannot see in Singapore. It's a Monday and people are so relaxed already. But it's nice to see people having fun despite a weekday. Funny thing in US is, I get alot of smiles from people from time to time. Walking on the street, some will just mutter a "hi" as you walk pass. This is especially true in touristy areas. Most just like to make conversation. Anyone, anywhere. But of course, there are some which are not so friendly. Haha.

On Tuesday, we headed down to Vegas. It was the 25th, so it meant we celebrated our monthsary in Vegas! Haha. The place is seriously sin city! There are so many hispanics giving cards depicting naked women on the streets. They pass it to every guy, even when it's obvious the guys are attached or that they have a wife and kid with them. The hotels are magnificent. All with different themes. I see a whole New York city, lions in the hotel, Greek Gods, and a hotel built like a castle. Even the staff sometimes dress according to the themes!

We watched two shows. These shows cost us abt USD$450 for two persons. I was totally burned from the amount, but thought it was a good experience. (Wenyao paid for lodging, food and fuel, and I paid for car rental and shows.) We watched a Cirque Du Soleil production call Zumanity. It was a show which celebrated sexuality and sensuality, between heterosexuals and homosexuals. We got very good seats! Which means a bountiful showcase of full breasts!!! Haha. Seriously, both of us didn't like the show very much since it focuses too much on free sex. The nudity was not that bad, it just seemed normal after a while. I think it's just the free sex which was emphasized! Got us really really uncomfortable. Since this is an in-house show of the hotel (New York- New York), it actually means this show might not be travelling around. And even if it does, would probably take more than 10 over years. But because of the nudity, I seriously doubt Singapore will allow the crew near its waters. Haha. So we thought it was a good experience!

The next show we watched was Phantom of the Opera! It was good!!!! Our seat was abit obstructed. But I couldn't afford better tickets, so we gotta make use of it. (The ticket I bought was 107 bucks, plus tax was 120 per person!! All in USD!!! The next amount was 137, plus tax would be 150+. Can't affort another 100USD!) But seriously, the price we paid for this show was definitely worth it! The quality of the shows in Vegas are simply great and extensive in terms of production I cannot imagine the shows in Singapore having the same standard. The shows are simply fascinating. Both in terms of props and set. We actually witnessed fireworks inside the theatre during Phantom. I believed my mouth was seriously agap throughout the whole 100 mins of the show! Best part of the shows in Vegas, no 20 mins break in between!

We went to Grand Canyon as well. One of the wonders of the world! The view is spectacular!!! Just standing at the edge leaves you in awe. Of cos, the fear of the danger ahead. The place was so damn hot. Actually the whole of US was hot. I am many shades darker than before. I think wenyao is worse. Although after walking around Grand Canyon for a while, you realise everything looks the same. But somehow, you'll just marvel at the creations right before your eyes! We also stopped at Hoover Dam and Lake Mead along the way. Guess the whole day trip was really fulfilling. Although we slept much of the time on the coach. But but but, we did wake up at the important hours when it comes to sightseeing. Hahaha.

Before we head back to Los Angeles on the third day, we stopped over at this Peggy Sue's Diner for dinner. This place is like a 50s diner. The town is really quiet. They even have a ghost town at the opposite street. We didn't have time to explore it though. This diner is just like the 50s. Even the waitress dress like she was from the 50s. The interior is like the 50s too. We had 50s food, which was hamburgers. Haha, I think US didn't change much in the 50 years! Burgers are here to stay! The meal looked like something from Billy Bombers!

On the last day (Friday), we went to Disneyland. It would be a place I would bring my kids when they are younger. I seemed too old for the rides, but still, that place fascinates me! It's so darling cute! Every shop is so cartoony. I took some rides, including pirates of the caribean, Haunted Mansion, etc etc. The rides are cute but super creative! Quite an eye opener really. These rides are just rides to showcase the themes, not adventure rides. They do have thrilling rides, but it's in the opposite park, need to pay another 30USD to enter. Plus I don't like thrills so it's just a total waste of money. The entrance for Disneyland is already 50USD. Everything here is seriously expensive!

Packed my bags and headed home on the Saturday afternoon on US time. The ride back was long as usual. Watched like 4 movies! Haha. Slept only for 2 hours! Bad thing about sitting in the window seat - I have to ration my drinking. Because I can't go to the toilet! The moment the women beside me stood up to the ladies, I hurried after them! Haha. Seriously, travelling on the plane alone is really really fun. These are the lists of movies I watched during the round trip plane ride.

1) She's the man (It's funny, recommended)
2) I not stupid 2 (This is a goooooood show! Laffed and cried. I think I freaked the Indian man beside me!)
3) Aquamarine (Teenage flick, watch it to waste time)
4) Half of Benchwarmers (it sucks big time!)
5) Crazy First Love (Nice romantic show!)
6) Back to school (Tao xue wei long...old school laff)
7) R.V. (Not bad, not too funny)
8) Thank you for not smoking (watched 1/4, too much talking)
9) I think there's one or two I couldn't quite remember. Haha.

My photos are uploaded too. It's right at this website. http://cards.webshots.com/invite/pickup/119562931HuMK/album/552706999MiINid

You can note down comments if you want =)

Haa, I think this trip is fun. Would wanna try doing a roadtrip with a couple of friends too. That is provided I managed to save enough again!! This trip totally burnt a big hole in my pocket. My savings are all gone! But still, it was worth it. Good experience!

Weekend

On Saturday, wy and I headed down to Desert Hills Factory Outlets. There were so many stores there, and all are supposedly factory outlets! Ran a few errands for those who asked me to buy stuffs for them. Includes fossil watches, coach bags and gucci pouches etc. Haha. Am on a tight budget here, so didn't dare spend much. But I got a great deal for an Armani Watch which I had been eyeing in Singapore. The price was abt SGD350 and I got it for USD99. Hahaha. The must buys are the fossil watches, some are like 2 for USD 39.99!!!

The location of the factory outlet was abt 90 mins drive from LA, to a place called Cabazon. The drive there was hot too! And the area was nothing but sandy dunes and hills. Nothing but yellow highlands and lowlands. And the stores are right smack in the middle of this. No wonder it's called desert hills. Because it is like a desert!

Halfway through shopping, there was a sandstorm kicking up. Everything looked blustery. Hot air was blowing all around. You can literally feel the warm wind blowing at your face non-stop. And because of the environment, I could feel sand around me. I swear I could taste them in my mouth. The scary part was when I kept hearing the people around me saying the word "typhoon". Haha. Wenyao and I got abit worried seriously. Lucky, nothing happened!

Went to Sizzler for dinner after that. The price is slightly cheaper than Singapore's (I'm not sure if they still have it there though..haha). The salad bar has more than salad, thought I saw fried foods (again!) as well. Hah, but we didn't add on the salad bar cos the mains were more than enough. The people we've met are really friendly, esp restaurants. Maybe it's cos they were working for the tips. Haha.

On Sunday, we headed for Universal Studios. This is the shortest drive ever! 20 mins only. Never been so glad. And can you imagine I'm not even driving. Haha. It's boring to sit in the car!!!

Went through some of the rides and shows. Very interesting. But I guess kids would like it better. Haha. Watched a 4D short screening of Shrek. You can feel the mucus when donkey sneezes. Gross. We also caught a live performance of Fear Factor. They had to drink a smoothie of Cockroaches, worms, pig gluts, sour milk, etc etc. It was eeky just seeing the blender blend them all together! One of the nice parts were when we took the universal tours and the special effects section. I got a glimpse of Wysteria Lane (Desperate Housewives)!!! Haha, too part it was only a small part because the whole set was closed to outsiders. I took pictures with a few characters too, with SPONGEBOB!!! Too bad Patrick wasn't there. Haha. I got a cute spongebob waterbottle. Only kids were carrying that, and the only adults carrying it were the kids' parents. Haha. Think they must be thinking I am overtly childish! But it's so cute!

After Universal Studios, we headed to take a picture of the Hollywood sign. Haha, then we got lost amongst the residential areas at the hills. The roads were so narrow, the car can barely squeeze through! We got into turns and turns and still couldn't get out! Imagine my shock when the GPS said "turn right after 2km". I went like "there's 2km of this narrow roads?!"

Went for a short walk at Hollywood after that. Loads of people basking on the streets. Took a picture with Zorro and sone evil character. Wasn't going to take pics with them. I wanted to take a pic of the whole background, which was Graumann's Chinese Theatre, when Zorro said "Ni Hao" and offered to take a pic with me. They were after tips actually. Haha. But they were a fun bunch of people!

I realised the parking in LA is super expensive. The parking at Hollywood is 10 bucks! 15 mins is 2 bucks and the max is 10. You could acutally park along the streets, but if they weren't available, then it's back to parking at 10-14 bucks per slot! Imagine paying SGD 16-22 bucks for parking in singapore!

We headed to Chop Chop, a chinese restaurant @ Westwood, near the apartment for dinner. Wenyao said the curry chicken he was eating was good. He's so easily satisfied! The curry is jap style, and there was so many clumps of undissolved curry. Haha. On the safer side, I had chicken and mushroom noodles. The soup was good, but there was something wrong with the noodles. They were way too thick and taste funny. Haha, I am so hard to pleased. One thing good, the soy milk taste exactly like Singapore! Wenyao had to gulp down everything so he could take a free refill, altough he was totally full from his rice! Haha. He took me there just so he could drink soy milk!

Now's Monday afternoon at 2pm. Wenyao and the rest are in school. Waiting for him to come back so we can head for lunch then to the beach. Should be going Venice beach, heard it's a great place!

Will be travelling to Las Vegas tomorrow for the next 3 days. Hope it will be as exciting!

Los Angeles - Yosemite

Reached LA on the afternoon of Jul 19 (Sg July 20). The plane ride was rather eventful. Was quite fearful of the 18 hrs flight alone since I'm not exactly a fan of flying. Watched a total of 3 movies, and didn't manage to sleep one bit. No thanks to the baby crying the whole nite through, and the two japanese kids kicking my seat all the way from narita airport to LAX. Gross.

Was checked thoroughly by the LAX custom officers as I was 'checking out' of the airport. Took my whole luggage for checking and asked me a whole bunch of questions. My dad had already gave me a warning before I departed. He said they might think I'm an illegal worker looking for work there. Hahaha.

Saw wenyao for the first time in 5 weeks. Felt he has aged abit. He said it was because of the weather. Haha. His face looked so worn.

Went back to the apartment. The apartment is not bad really, cept that guys don't usually keep it neat. Haha. Puzzling thing was, they did nothing but sit around their laptops the whole time, cept to eat and watch abit of tv. 5 guys in total. Imagine my surprise when I see the laptops around the round table, and each person doing their own stuff, right until their bedtime. I don't even dare to make too much noise. Hah.

Did nothing much when I got to LA. Went around west hollywood and walked abit. Had lunch at this restaurant called Mr. Noodle, serves thai food, and it's quite good. Walked around at Ralph's (supermarket), victoria secrets and urban outfitters. Didn't buy anything though. Some stuffs are freaking expensive! VS was having a sale, but felt abit weird with wy following around in a lingerie store. Hah. Urban outfitters is not cheap either. The store is so similar to forever 21. But the clothes are not bad though.

Set off for Yosemite on the morning of 20th July, at 730am It was a long ride. Poor wenyao had to drive all the way - 5 hrs of driving. The sun was so blazing, I had a sunburn just sitting in the car! Wanted to check in early at our lodging place but they mentioned the earliest was 3pm, so we headed down to Oakhurst for lunch. They actually had KFC buffet here, at USD$ 6.99, and you can eat all you want. Hah. We settled for Carl's Jr instead.

Walked around Oakhurst and headed for Yosemite Park after that. Hiked for about an hour in Mariposa and viewed the Giant Sequoia Trees. They are really really huge! Some of the tree trunks' circumference are big enough for cars to drive through! But seriously, after awhile, the trees just look similar. Opps.

Headed for Glacier Point after that. As we were nearing the area, it started to drizzle. The weather was getting really bad with dark clouds overhead. I got worried and asked wenyao to head back since it was already 3pm and we will be able to check in. He agreed and we headed back towards the direction of Narrow Gauge Inn, which was a 15 mins drive out of the park. As we were driving back, the sky started clearing, and we thought perhaps we could try out luck towards the tunnel view area, which was in the opposite direction of Glacier Point. Halfway towards tunnel view, it started pouring again. On seeing the many cars in front of us proceeding ahead, we followed suit. When we finally reached the tunnel view area, the sky was overcast, and it was raining heavily. We couldn't get out of the car for a photo shoot, because of the rain. In addition, the area was so foggy we couldn't see much either. We headed back towards the Inn, and decided to cover the rest of Yosemite the next day.

Just as we were heading back, the rain got even heavier. Soon, there were loads of crackling sounds on the window. It was then when we realise it was raining ice. The ice was quite big and they were making quite a racket. Then we realised the car wipers weren't working really well. The ice was coming down even more. The roads were just turns after turns! It was so difficult to drive in that weather. Worse was when the inside of the car shield got misty and wenyao couldn't see a thing. I had to wipe the wind shield so he could focus. It was quite scary. haha. Then we switched on the air-condition to full blast so the water wouldn't condense on the inside. It worked. But by then I was shivering so much I couldn't stop. Hah. It was exciting to be caught in the hailstorm though. As we travelled lower, the rain stopped, and we could see abit of snow at the sides of the road. A teeny weeny bit only. But it looked beautiful.

The Inn where we were staying was fantastic! The room was rustic and comfy. Very country feeling. The people were very friendly too. It just seemed like a tiny cottage place. It is really recommended. One thing bad was the price was abit too steep. Perhaps it's because we were there during the peak period. Took a glimpse at the receipt and realised wy paid $170+ on one nite stay. (Everything quoted here is in USD!) I was kinda shocked but at the same time thankful cos he really thought it was money well spent.

We had dinner at the restaurant at the Inn, price is not good either. But there was nowhere else to eat, since the weather was bad, and the drive down Oakhurst will take another 30 mins with no lights at nite. It was fine dining, but we just ate like normal while the other visitors ate like fine-dining practices. Haha. Typical us. We were the only ones in slippers too!

Headed out to Yosemite Park early next morning, after the complimentary breakfast at the Inn. The weather was amazingly good. Thank God for that, if not it would be a totally wasted trip for me. (This is the second visit for wenyao already.) First stop was Washburn Point. We didn't plan on stopping there, as we were heading for Glacier Point instead. But the view was so amazing we had to stop. Then we headed down to Glacier Point. The view was spectacular. I could see one-quart of the whole yosemite (the guide said that!). Saw Half dome, north dome, yosemite falls etc. It's amazing how the rocks were form over the years to become such a sight. (Shall post pics soon!)

Next we headed to the tunnel view area again, and we could see El Capitian from there. Wenyao said this was from a huge rock, but I wasn't quite sure, since all looked like one huge rock to me! Haha. Then we headed down to the valley, and stopped along the way for pictures. Went pass the camping sites at Curry Village. There were visitors cycling around. It's just like a chalet in the woods. So many people there. All with their own foods and tents. We took a turn and and wanted to head back to LA. Passed by this place called Yosemite Fall. Wenyao was asking if I wanted to take a walk, which I refused cos I thought it was a long hike to the area. (I am totally lazy during this trip!) Then I saw the falls from the car and immediately called for wenyao to take a walk. If I had missed it I think I would totally regret it! (But how to regret if I dunno about it in the first place? Hahaha). Anyways, this walk down to Yosemite Falls was truly the one moment that made the whole trip to Yosemite fulfilling. Since I had done so many sightseeing, which after awhile they all looked the same. And all see no touch makes Zee really bored. Haha.

Yosemite Falls is the tallest waterfall in the whole of US, and the 5th tallest in the world. I walked to the lower part of the fall. The higher part takes 6-8 hours of hike! Could see the whole waterfall from the bottom. The water just drop down from the top, and the view was spectacular against the blue sky. I even waddled down the water. So many kids there and I'm the only adult! Haha. Wenyao was wearing shoes so he didn't go down into the water until I pestered him for it. It was so nice of him since he was afraid the water will spoil the camera. Haha. So he thought he'll stay on dry land. So thankful I was wearing crocs. The sandals are practically made-ready for yosemite!! I wore them into the stream! Didn't have to take them out at all! It was good for hikes too, since it was non-slip! Hah!

After Yosemite we headed back, and had lunch at Fresno, Tulare. Realised the whole area was inhabited by hispanics! Hah, feel abit weird also. The fast food restaurant (we had Jack in the Box) had quite abit of flies. Being the eccentric me, I couldn't really concentrate on the food. Anyways was quite sick of eating fast food, everyone here eat fried stuff!!! Gross. I will be so fat when I come back!

Slept so much for the whole journey back and I felt so bad since I wasn't driving at all. And wenyao had to drive so much! Love him for that! I did catch some view on the way back. The sun was super hot, I got burned on the way back again. Pui! Saw many ranches and they reminded me of where Clark from Smallville lived! Haha.

Back in LA at about 8pm. So tired. The guys went to Las Vegas for one nite and wenyao and I are doing laundry and watching tv. It feels weird to see him busying around the house. He does the laundry and washing for them!!! Like a house husband. Haha. Maybe he's more ready than I am.

Anxiety

Have you ever had the feeling when anxiety hits you and you found yourself unable to breathe?

I get that at times, only thing is my mind starts thinking haywire thoughts, I get tensed and I find myself gasping for air. Sometimes it's accompanied by the pukish feeling, a regurgitation of whatever you just ate. Or perhaps it's not physical damage.

Perhaps it's mental, perhaps it's just the cause of bad experiences.

Gross.

Geek attack

Went to this shop @ Raffles Place which was like a factory outlet store. Loads of brands there and at very affordable prices.

Was trying out the Ed Hardy Trucker Caps when the sales guy commented I should buy the pink one (which I did..haha). He said it looks more my style, clubbing and sort. My colleague went like "she's not a clubber". Haa, and I gave him an innocent smile.

And exclaimed, my greatest hobby is actually reading. Hahaha.

Aftermath: Was so happy that I bought the cap back, and saw one of the colleagues on the way. She asked why I was so happy and I said cos I bought that. She had a look at it, and had a grave expression on her face. She decided not to wreck my enthusiasm but I persisted. And she said these caps were all over the Taiwan Street Market. Burnt!

And btw I think she didn't know the brand well also. Not to blame....haha. I shall wear it's authenticity out! It's the man that maketh the cap!

Double standard

Theresa (my colleague) and I went for lunch @ far east. We missed the chicken rice so much! We made a trip downtown cos she apparently had to collect her MTM for her eyes. (She's totally obsessed about her eyes. Mine seriously look worse than hers! Right possum?) Forgot to mention MTM is freaking expensive. Goodness.

Anyways, went around and window shopped abit. Saw this shop which had loads of nice vintage dresses and pants. We got into the shop and there were 3 ang mos inside. Young twenty plus ang mos, getting excited over the dresses in the shop. Undressing brazenly just to try out the stuffs. The salesgirl was basically making herself available around them, introducing this and that, while they were trying at the 2 miserable fitting rooms.

While Theresa was trying on a dress, I saw one hanging on the wall. Queried the salesgirl if there were any sizes for that. She gave me a look and told me the price was 139 or 179 bucks. She was giving me that look which says, "if you are interested to buy it then I will show it to you". I felt offended since I hadn't asked for the price in the first place. But isn't it bad enough how she can judge if I was going to buy just by looking at my face or the attire I am wearing (I am not lok kok, probably just plain and not stylo enough)! I would be laughing my head off if the ang mos bought nothing in the end!


I saw a top in the end (and I checked the price this time) and asked if I could try it on. Immediately she motioned me to a mirror (at the shop entrance!) and said I would have to try it with my shirt on, cos they (the ang mos) are using the dressing rooms. At that moment, I felt abit wierd when she made that comment, because I will wait, and there were 2 dressing rooms. And one is free at the moment. It was when I realised she had volunteered the rooms just for their highnesses. (I have nothing against them, seriously.) And please imagine trying at the door, how pathetic does that look?!

Goodness, I cannot understand if that is the way you should be treating your fellow comrades. I've constantly been commenting how locals are being treated as second class citizens the moment they are compared next to someone from the west, and in our own country. It's like you are being discriminated in your own motherland! Totally absurd, but evident in our everyday lives.

I do understand the notion of having to be polite to tourist and guests so as to make them feel welcome, but please, the people who will be constantly buying from you will be the locals. So please be nice!

We walked for a few shops and realised we got almost the same sub-standard service from everywhere. Maybe it's just far east, but seriously even if I had the budget, I'm not going to buy a 200 bucks dress from you and getting a way below tolerable service attitude!

Got so pek cek after the whole thing. Wished I told her off right in front of everyone. Perhaps that would get the fume off my chest.

I hate being disciminated. Gross.

Perpetual Excitement

I've been so excited this whole week planning the LA trip. Every message from wy on msn is discussing where we should go and what we could do when I reach on 19 July. There are of cos the down parts during discussion when we (only me actually,) realise the tight budget we are facing. The cash that I am bringing over is a miserable sum. But we have gotta try to make full use of the time there. Which means less shopping, but perhaps more feasting for the eyes!

Just confirmed the hotels which we will be staying at Las Vegas and Yosemite. Las Vegas would be Treasure Island (the one featured in Miss Congeniality!!! - www.treasureisland.com), and yosemite would be an inn called Narrow Gauge Inn (www.narrowgaugeinn.com)

As mentioned, the super down part of the trip is the money outs. The car rental is gonna cost us a bomb! Especially since we are under 25, and the rates would be upped 25 bucks (USD!!!)per day. I am also quite apprehensive about the road trip since it's the first time I'm travelling alone (on air) and driving around in a totally new area! The stories of murders and robberies along highways are really scary!

This is the tentative itinery we came out:

19 Jul - Reach LA
20 Jul - Yosemite
21 Jul - Yosemite
22 Jul - Anaheim
23 Jul - Disney
24 Jul - ?
25 Jul - Las Vegas
26 Jul - Las Vegas
27 Jul - Las Vegas
28 Jul - LA
29 Jul - Head home

As you can see the time is pretty limited. I'm only staying 2 nites in Las Vegas, which is very very short (according to my colleagues). A colleague of mine stayed for a week and said there was so much she didn't see! Another attraction I really want to see is the shows at Las Vegas! The shows are super ex! We will be catching Phantom of the Opera (I insisted) and one of the production by Cirque Du Soleil. On average, they cost about 100 each (USD again). Freak, never watched a production more than 100 sing, and here we are paying 160 sing per show. And it's the cheapest! *Pui*

The budget is scary (all in USD):
Narrow Gauge Inn - $160 + $40 (entrance)
Treasure Island - $215
GPS - $260
Petrol - $300
Food - $500
Shows - $400
Car Rental - $500
Total - $2375 (S$3800)

And the fees does not include any amount spent in LA. *Pui*

Alright, 21 more days to my trip! Counting down everyday! Haha, or maybe I just can't wait to stop working. Hohoho.

Kids!

Went to my granny house today. Was goofing around and playing with baby Kai-ian (17 months) when suddenly I caught a glimpse of his big brother, Keanne (5 yrs), poking his head out of the toilet door. Immediately, I yelled over and asked what he was doing with that sneaky look in his eyes. Kai-ian had a habit of playing with the water in the toilet bowl so I thought it could have been a family habit. (He thinks it's a play pool!)

He gave me a look and rolled his eyes (yes, he rolled eyes) and told me he wasn't up to anything funny but had just shitted. Then I gave him a look that says "huh?". He confirmed my horror by saying he needs someone to wipe his butt.

The maid was busy with something so I shouted for my mom for help. Then she said just wipe. I walked into the toilet with his tiny shorts and undies sprawled all over the toilet. Stared at him hoping for some advice. And he responded just like the Uncle in him. (His nickname is Uncle...)

He said, " Just wipe my butt.." I was horrified. I finally did the grotesque swipe on his small behind. He stared at me still. I thought we were done. Then he said," my mummy washes my butt". I felt horrified. He actually came down from the toilet seat and pointed out the hose for me.

So I asked him, " How does your mummy wash? Does she wash like this?" ( I was doing the action of rubbing my hands on the backside) And he nodded his head. After the hideous encounter, he came down from the seat and said now's the time to wash his hands (and mine too!).

After that, he commented in an uncle-ly manner. "You know my mummy only splashes my backside with water when she washes, you're different".

Gross.

Chocolates

They make you sad and happy all at the same time.

It's an oxymoronic treat.

The chocs are almost finishing.

=(

Daily rantings

I believed if someone were to ask me what is the most sia suay thing I ever did, I would have problems remembering. Such things happen to me almost everyday, and they have become such a commonality, I would feel wierd if I didn't get them.

Take for example, I slipped on my way to work near Amoy. You those those slips where you get caught offguard momentarily, just in time to catch hold of your footing in that split second. You'll feel funny about it because right at that moment, if you facial expression was in slowmo, it will look disgustingly hilarious. I laffed at myself after that.

Oh, and I choked on fish bone yesterday.

Plus, my granny thought I had a bald patch on my head when it was the blond area of my hair. I am officially a redhead now.

Bad thing that happened, I am going to shift my desk to the top floor, and that means no more possums having fun in the office. That is really sian. Theresa is someone I look forward to spending time in the office. So much fun. =( I sound like a les!

Bummer.

The Essence of Life

My dad was admitted to the hospital a few days ago. It was good that he's in, at least the doc had a chance to observe and find out the reason his body seems to be malfunctioning lately.

He had been having severe headaches, with the tendency of heartburn. He said he can't sleep without sleeping pills, and lying down often leaves him breathless. Often enough, he actually felt he was losing it. We were worried of cos, but his stubborn nature didn't allow us to coax him into the clinic. Finally, he gave in when he realised he could not sleep without the help of pills. Call me sadistic, but to me, his admittion was good news.

My dad got admitted about the same time as my colleague's mom. Contradictingly, both have very different outcome. My dad is OK, perhaps the condition was due to stress over work, or maybe his spinal problem. The news my friend got was much much worse. Two days ago, she mentioned they found a lump in the mum's intestine, and that needs an op to remove it. Today, the doc said it is cancer and it has spread to the lungs and liver. To me it was a shock. An illness can be inside for so long and the person is ignorant about it. The mum doesn't know she has cancer, cos the children knew she cannot cope with reality. She has only 6 months to live, and with chemo, max 2 years. If she doesn't react to chemo, it's back to 6.

I ran a google on her condition, and this is what it says. Stage 4 colon cancer will usually be treated with chemotherapy to shrink the tumor, lengthen life, and improve the quality of life. Sounds politically correct, but you realise it is an optimistic way to say that death is the only route to go.

I feel super sad when I heard the news. Came to the office after a day out with wenyao and saw her eyes red. Think floodgates opened when I fingered an OK sign to her for response. I wasn't feeling especially great today since wenyao will be leaving the next day. Then I came to office and heard the news. Imagine this person who is struggling is my dad. I seriously dunno what to do.

During lunch with wenyao, he was telling me his take on life. He said life is something to be grasp but something not to be held on too dearly. You treasure life so you try out new stuffs, take the road less travelled, challenge yourself continuously, learning new things. If you treasure life by protecting it all the time, avoiding new experiences because you are afraid to lose your life, you are wasting it.

It came to a point when I realise people don't treasure life until someone tells you how much time you have left. I'm not saying my friend's mum doesn't treasure hers. I'm just saying if someone tells me I have 1 more year to live, I'll probably try my best to do more in that 1 year than what I tried in my previous 23 years.

I'm not sure what I want to get out of this. It's just that sometimes I tried protecting myself too much I am wasting my life. The thought that the time I wasted could be somebody's extra time irks me. I feel suddenly life is so short. I perhaps used up 1/3 of my life now. But it's because of the thinking that I'll probably die at age 75, which leaves me complacent about the time I have. I guess it's not so for others.

39 days later

Woah..haven't been blogging for 39 days. But I guess nothing much happened within this period. Job's the same, person getting abit wacko (my colleagues can vouch that), daily momentum getting abit slower, working hours abit later. Haha. And the thing I noticed, blogs are updated monthly. Less people are blogging recently, is it age related? Or stress related? Or simply can't be bothered. But seriously, why do people blog? esp when it's the few miserable bones reading it. Hah.

Yeah, typing an entry to make sure I still keep my a monthly habit (at least)!

Well, job's still the same. Bleah.