INSEAD

It has been an agonizing 3 days. I was told of a course this week at INSEAD (Singapore Campus) only last Thursday and within minutes of knowing I was going for the course, I was hurrying typing away my application for an approval from INSEAD to attend the seminar on alternative investments - Mastering Alternative Investments (MAI)

I had read a lot of bios of fund managers which described their education in INSEAD. I never thought much about the education hub, except that it must be something great. So when Irene asked if I was interested to head to a seminar at INSEAD, I jumped at the chance. Apprehensively of course.

I was hasty in my application. I needed to send through a description of my objectives to attend the program plus my role in eurekahedge, plus a freaking long form in 15 mins! The course coordinator was leaving for the day and everything had to be processed by friday, which was 6 hours away... I was told they had to read through what I wrote before I could be admitted into the program. Unaware of the importance of the write-up, I typed everything in point form! Until I spoke to a colleague from sales (we are the 2 persons going for the program), when I realised she actually wrote in an essay for the admission, and it took her 2 days. I must say I'm lucky they processed it through and confirmed my application at the last minute. Funny though, seeing her gek reaction when she heard I wrote in point form. *evil face*

I was so worried about the program because I seriously thought I was not up to it. Unfortunately, I was so right! The next day everything was processed and I was given my access to their online program portal. After viewing the participants list, I knew I was in deep shit.

There were about 18 participants. All of them investment professionals holding high appointments - CFOs, CEOs, Fund Manager, Govt Authority. My role as an Assistant Head seemed relatively unimportant. And I was totally freaked out.

I was so quiet in all the 3 days of the program. I was taxed out. The readings were horrible, and I had to complete them within the weekend and I was rushing a proposal for a South African Counterpart due on Monday. Not to mention, this week was end month, and due to the restructuring of pay scheme, I had to increase my average funds this month.... and they were lagging like mad. I wasn't performing at all.

I was both happy and worried to be in the program. The exposure was great. I learnt things I never knew and wouldn't have expected to learn. They were difficult at my standard. Furthermore, I felt really guilty I couldn't assist much in the discussions. Mostly, I felt ashamed because I knew so little about my industry. But on the bright side, at least I added knowledge after the program, albiet some concepts are still hazy. Still, I think the marginal knowledge made all seemed better.

We had extra readings everyday after the program. Imagine my stress level when I had to read them every night. Even my mom was concerned. I had stopped studying 2 years back! And there I was, highlighting notes for the first 2 nights..

I was so glad it was over today. I think I broke into the brightest smile once the professor announced it was all over! My achievements - an INSEAD cert (I'm officially an alumni of the MAI program....) an ugly group photo, and a whole load of information I need to re-digest... Hah. Nonetheless, it was an experience not to be missed! I didn't enjoy it, but having an INSEAD stamped on my name..I think it was worth it? Hah.

*Thanks to all those who prayed for me!*

Being Fat and its negative associations

So just what are the negative associations with being fat? Let me think..an individual who's fat usually showcases these behaviors (from my experiences) - gluttony, incompetence, bad-looking, eyesore, unhealthy, unloved, sad, unconfident, ugly, bad personality?

Sad to say, I realised all these are just my experiences. I've seen people on the bigger side looking happy, very competent, confident, very much loved, pleasant to the eye, and having wonderful personality.

I've been getting these comments & suggestions from my parents in the past one month (or maybe past few years???):
1) So... when are you slimming down?
2) You should go on a diet..try eating 2 small pieces of these wheat biscuits for breakfast...
3) Did anyone offer you a seat on the MRT?
4) When was the last time you exercised?
5) You will become a potato watching TV like that, short and round..
6) Try commenting on your own fats..
7) You're still eating?
8) Didn't Wenyao comment anything on your fats?
9) He'll leave you if you don't do anything about it.
10) You'll be prettier if you weigh less.

Does anyone have any other comments on my excess fats? Sometimes I feel they will be happy if I'm anorexic or bulimic. I don't think it changes the way I am as a person. I just feel really depressed whenever they comment on such issues. Can't they see I find the comments rude and abhoring? I'm not complaining, why should they? Why can't they just accept me for who I am.

I look bigger, so I look different, so I might look less pleasant. But did that change the way I'm treating the family? Did that change the way I work in the office? Did that made me bad as a whole? If I do please let me know. These comments just made me avoid walking pass my parents while they watch TV, wearing clothes which are much looser, going for meals with them, carefully selecting clothes which do not make me look pregnant, and having them see me munch on food...

I feel judged in a very bad way. I seriously think to be a good daughter, I must be anorexic or bulimic..Why do I feel like it's starting all over again...

Introducing...DAN the MAN...

I have a new colleague in the office. Real perk-me-up ever since he joined us. Cos when I'm bored I bully him, and he can do nothing about it!!! His suaning really helps to strengthen my brain amidst the mundane work. BTW his nickname is Fei Ju 1 aka FJ1. (I'm FJ2).

These are the few conversations we had on skype...

While he's working US hour....
Dan says: :(
Zhengyi says: yyy?
Dan says: cos i am working now
Zhengyi says: no worries..i m watching bleach here
Zhengyi says: can pei u
Zhengyi says: (devil)

While I was complaining about the shower head malfunction...
Dan says: sad case
Dan says: i tink you got to go 7-11 buy mineral water to clean yourself
Dan says: alternatively lick like the cats
Zhengyi says: omg
Zhengyi says: my dad went and dunno press wad then it work
Zhengyi says: now i scared i go bathe then will get electrcuted
Zhengyi says: pray for me!
Zhengyi says: ok i'm gonna bathe now
Zhengyi says: in case i dun come back alive
Dan says: Dear god
Dan says: pls... do as you wish
Zhengyi says: just want you to know that you are not so bad a co-worker
Dan says: relieve her of suffering
Zhengyi says: ok i take back my word
Zhengyi says: goodbye my friend
Dan says: leave me something!!!
Zhengyi says: i left u wonderful memories my friend
Zhengyi says: that should be the most precious thing ever
Zhengyi says: i'm alive!!!!
Zhengyi says: but u can keep the memories


While a fund manager called him on skype and he has no phone connected to his PC...
Dan says: hey this guy added me
Dan says: then he call me
Dan says: but i cant answer
Dan says: i tink my extraction sucks
Zhengyi says: u take my phone
Dan says: he says want to go thru with me
Zhengyi says: the phone at my pc tower
Dan says: tink nvm i talk to him tml
Zhengyi says: u wan u can take my phone
Zhengyi says: nv use one
Dan says: i use it to call you later
Zhengyi says: if u going to use it to call me at 3am to go siao bian it's ok
Dan says: no lor
Zhengyi says: my bladder system very good, will wake me up if i need to go one[10:07:21 PM] Dan says: i am not so bad
Dan says: i call at every haf hr to remind you
Dan says: to cover blanket
Zhengyi says: wah so good ar
Zhengyi says: i wait for ur call lor (if u can get through while i'm logged off)[10:08:40 PM] Dan Dan says: handfone shld be fine too rite
Zhengyi says: most likely off
Zhengyi says: haha
Dan says: let me see
Dan says: this number shld work rite 6565 6902
Zhengyi says: u'll get an uncle shouting at ur ear
Dan says: i will speak politely
Zhengyi says: u'll still have him shouting at ur ear
Dan says: i can ask him to cover your blanket
Zhengyi says: u'll still have him shouting at ur ear
Zhengyi says: i think u dun wan that
Zhengyi says: most likely u'll go deaf
Zhengyi says: then tomorrow cannot do calling
Zhengyi says: wont do any of us good


While I tried to psycho him to gain weight..that's how he got to be FJ 1 btw..

Conversation with steph
[11:12:02 PM] Stephy says: i got very nice cashew nut cookie
[11:12:06 PM] Stephy says: u want to try?
[11:12:06 PM] Zhengyi says: bah
[11:12:08 PM] Zhengyi says: dun say liao
[11:12:11 PM] Zhengyi says: i'm not in office la
[11:12:14 PM] Zhengyi says: at home already
[11:12:14 PM] Stephy says: eh!
[11:12:23 PM] Stephy says: i keep thinking u are!
[11:12:25 PM] Stephy says: hahahaha
[11:12:31 PM] Zhengyi says: only dan
[11:12:34 PM] Zhengyi says: u can offer him
[11:12:37 PM] Zhengyi says: he's in denial mode
[11:12:41 PM] Stephy says: ya i saw dan
[11:12:41 PM] Zhengyi says: he thinks he's not hungry
[11:12:46 PM] Stephy says: ahahahaha
[11:13:13 PM] Stephy says: i should bbq my chicken wings in the oven
[11:13:20 PM] Zhengyi says: hahaha
[11:13:21 PM] Stephy says: then walk into the room
[11:13:26 PM] Stephy says: sit there & says
[11:13:40 PM] Stephy says: Zee says u are not hungry, so doesnt matter where i eat my wings

Next..on Dan's window..
[11:14:45 PM] Dan says: idiot
[11:15:11 PM] Dan says: you ask steph to give me chocolate!!!!
[11:15:32 PM] Zhengyi says: i didn't!!!
[11:15:42 PM] Zhengyi says: (angel)
[11:15:53 PM] Dan says: hmm
[11:15:54 PM] Dan says: funny
[11:16:06 PM] Dan says: she said you said i am in denial mode
[11:16:13 PM] Dan says: then offer me snacks
[11:16:19 PM] Dan says: and i had to take one chocolate
[11:16:33 PM] Zhengyi says: i tell her to offer u chicken wing
[11:16:34 PM] Dan says: sian... i look rounder suddenly

Next on Stephy's window again..
[11:15:54 PM] Zhengyi says: he scold me eediot
[11:15:56 PM] Stephy says: ahahahaha
[11:15:59 PM] Zhengyi says: say i ask u to give him
[11:16:04 PM] Zhengyi says: i ask u to give him chicken wings
[11:16:06 PM] Zhengyi says: not choc
[11:16:08 PM] Zhengyi says: not enuff!
[11:16:11 PM] Stephy says: lol
[11:16:18 PM] Stephy says: really ar?
[11:16:25 PM] Stephy says: he think he will eat?
[11:18:43 PM] Stephy says: tell him that little choc cookie have 75 calories
[11:18:48 PM] Stephy says: FYI
[11:18:50 PM] Stephy says: ahahaha

Needless to say, I pasted the calories to him. FYI...

Hahaha!!!! Going for supper with WY now~!!!