Sunday, August 12, 2007

Being Fat and its negative associations

So just what are the negative associations with being fat? Let me think..an individual who's fat usually showcases these behaviors (from my experiences) - gluttony, incompetence, bad-looking, eyesore, unhealthy, unloved, sad, unconfident, ugly, bad personality?

Sad to say, I realised all these are just my experiences. I've seen people on the bigger side looking happy, very competent, confident, very much loved, pleasant to the eye, and having wonderful personality.

I've been getting these comments & suggestions from my parents in the past one month (or maybe past few years???):
1) So... when are you slimming down?
2) You should go on a diet..try eating 2 small pieces of these wheat biscuits for breakfast...
3) Did anyone offer you a seat on the MRT?
4) When was the last time you exercised?
5) You will become a potato watching TV like that, short and round..
6) Try commenting on your own fats..
7) You're still eating?
8) Didn't Wenyao comment anything on your fats?
9) He'll leave you if you don't do anything about it.
10) You'll be prettier if you weigh less.

Does anyone have any other comments on my excess fats? Sometimes I feel they will be happy if I'm anorexic or bulimic. I don't think it changes the way I am as a person. I just feel really depressed whenever they comment on such issues. Can't they see I find the comments rude and abhoring? I'm not complaining, why should they? Why can't they just accept me for who I am.

I look bigger, so I look different, so I might look less pleasant. But did that change the way I'm treating the family? Did that change the way I work in the office? Did that made me bad as a whole? If I do please let me know. These comments just made me avoid walking pass my parents while they watch TV, wearing clothes which are much looser, going for meals with them, carefully selecting clothes which do not make me look pregnant, and having them see me munch on food...

I feel judged in a very bad way. I seriously think to be a good daughter, I must be anorexic or bulimic..Why do I feel like it's starting all over again...

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