Friday, January 06, 2012

Wickedly Spectacular

And yes, I'm talking about Wicked! The musical that is, if you haven't heard, the musical is now playing at Marina Bay Sands. Can't wait to see what's coming after Wicked.

The musical is officially my favorite musical of all time! And of course, the song of the day would be "Defying Gravity". The lyrics spoke a lot about my journey thus far, and I could really relate to it. Here's what spoke to me. Haha.

Something has changed within meSomething is not the sameI'm through with playing by the rulesOf someone else's gameToo late for second-guessingToo late to go back to sleepIt's time to trust my instinctsClose my eyes: and leap!
It's time to tryDefying gravityI think I'll tryDefying gravityAnd you can't pull me down!

So if you care to find meLook to the western sky!As someone told me lately:"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"And if I'm flying soloAt least I'm flying freeTo those who'd ground meTake a message back from meTell them how I amDefying gravityI'm flying highDefying gravityAnd soon I'll match them in renownAnd nobody in all of OzNo Wizard that there is or wasIs ever gonna bring me down!

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Speak up

Note to self: speak out before it becomes too late.

Doesn't matter for the little adjustment if it does not cost them anything but cost you more.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

I'm ready!

Had a long coaching/conversation with dear Meeiting today. Wanted to pen down some thoughts before I completely forget the awesome experience of realizing some hard (but enlightening) truths. Thanks to Meeiting for the time and efforts. I felt I finally got some place to start the engine rolling!

It's been sometime since I intended for anything. She reminded me that when intention seems to cease, it's always good to start intending from smaller things. And amazingly, the trains waited for me today as I hopped on it, I reached my appointment on time (through public transport!), had a lunch date with Meeiting out of the blue in the spare hours I have, hoped onto my intended bus within 5 mins (what I wanted too!), and got a seat in the oh-so-crowded bus! All starts with a little intention! If intention is about getting things your way, I sure am putting my talents to good use. Talking about talents meeting needs, I'm sure I am finding a purpose through intention!

Regarding last year, the only word that came to my mine was "cope". I was coping with many things, and most importantly, I was really coping with marriage life. Instead of taking baby steps into creating a new stage in the relationship, I'm basing my knowledge of the new stage based on experiences from the dating stage. This has not helped me at all, and I'm coping at a whole new level in a sudden grandeur when I should have taken baby steps instead! Hence, this year would be a year of exploration of my relationship with Wenyao, taking baby steps to find out who he is for what he is, and from there, find out what I can be as a wife, confidante and best friend. It's taking baby steps, and hopefully a baby too in the midst! ;) (just maybe!)

I realized instead of feeling worried and about getting ready for my third world, I'm actually rather ready for the third world. (That's a shock!) And it has been sometime since I'm ready. Since October to be exact. I've wanted so eagerly to start on a new journey after all the leanings I had in the last 2 years, but apparently, because things didn't turn out as fast as I wanted to, I became bored in the process. And that caused the lethargy and the disappointments from all the vexing wait. It's not that I'm not ready, but I am! Just waiting for a corporation or a kind soul to utilize my needs! I need to find a purpose for my talents! Haha, and I can't seem to find it yet. But I do hope I can soon! Perhaps this new attitude might bring new journeys and experiences, and I would be putting my good talents of intention into good use this time.

I'm ready world! Are you?!

Zee

Task-oriented

When the days get dreary,
And nights get lazy,
A task list of unending chores,
Get those limbs moving.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

2011-2012

Thought I had better pen down my thoughts for 2011 before 2012 catches up too fast. 2011 had been an extremely fast year. I couldn't even remember the exact events of what went through the entire year. To be honest, it had been quite a year for me. Not a very positive year as all the other years I've had, but somehow I felt 2011 had been a really hard year for me.

It's hard but not all negative. Let's just put it that the year yesterday had been a year of hard truths and hard learnings. A year where happiness was rather short lived, and periods of agony were most frequent. A year where I learnt the most, through the hard way, the independent way. It had been an emotional roller coaster ride, where dips were most frequent, where I often felt the hollowness and emptiness of life's journey. I have to acknowledge that it had been a year of failures, but a year of huge knowledge gathering. There were achievements definitely, but somehow these achievements were rushed and done in a matter-of-fact manner, and the mistakes caught up too fast to make one feel pleased at what have been attained. It was a rushed year, it was a hard year, and it was a significant year. A year where I would never want to have repeated, but definitely have to go through one way or another. It's an inevitable year for the journey I chose. I don't love it, but I appreciate it.

Still, I have to still acknowledge some of the things I did in the yesteryear. Saw my loosely written bucket list on the wall, and went through it. I must really acknowledge that I did put some efforts into making this year worthwhile. So here it goes...

1) Went white water rafting - with Emma in Bali
2) Experienced Hash in Bali as well - thanks to Emma's dad, was a truly amazing and worrisome experience! Hah.
3) Started a fashion business...finally
4) Set up my own online shopping site
5) Learnt the knowledge of photoshop & illustrator (I must say I still need to learn on the latter)
6) Started my own collection, with my own designs!
7) Started designing menswear (and I'm actually lovin' it!)
8) Finally went on a trip with Wenyao! (It's not a big trip but at least I didn't shortchange myself in the trip!)
9) Went on a self-drive malacca trip with Wenyao (will definitely do it again!)
10) Finally cooked a soup that Wenyao loves
11) Completed reading Atlas Shrugged (!!!)
12) Ran 2 races this year and ran my first 21KM in good enough timing!
13) Ran with Wenyao for the first time!
14) Created the collection launch with all my efforts!
15) Created a better relationship with my dear brother
16) Read my first business related book..hahaha.. E-Myth by Michael E Berger, highly recommended
17) Read my first diet book...haha..also not bad. Don't read those books previously
18) Started swimming as a habit again
19) Had my very own fashion show!
20) Made my first sale online where I really felt it was 100% earned. Hah.

So with all the endings in place (I'm not a great lover of all things ending...), I'm rather excited about the coming year. Yes, I do have plans and I really hope they can be in place. Meeiting was mentioning that there would be a theme for this year, and I felt this year could probably be a year of creativity, of really thinking out of the box, trying the things that I really want. So here's a few of what I have in mind. I think this time I should set them as resolutions, because coming from a year without one, it's really starting to prove that a "resoluted" year would be a much better one.

So here it goes!
1) Achieve a certification in horse riding
2) Return back to the corporate career
3) Continue the fashion business in another direction if possible
4) Finally go on my honeymoon in Europe
5) Climb Mount Fuji
6) Continue learning the Japanese language
7) Join more races with Wenyao
8) Learn fashion drafting (coming up in January! Finally!)
9) Try casino gambling
10) Grow long hair and have it permed (I'm already grimacing at this!)
11) Maintain a healthier lifestyle, hopefully lose some KGs in the midst!
12) Clear up the extra room before CNY (major clutter!)
13) Take part in a fashion contest!

2012 will also be a year of questioning and learning, of questioning what's outside the box, or rather philosophically (I'm reading Sophie's World now). Thought it might be useful in the out-of-the-box-out-of-the-world context. I'm hoping 2012 will be a year of realizations, of consciousness, of being present to my journey. It would be a year of understanding the self, and others, and bridging relationships, and of course, opening up the entire world of what world is to me right now.

To 2012 - a new found world. =)