Had a stupid argument with my family just, 3 against 1 and I got so worked up I cried throughout. Hate to ram my thoughts recently but sometimes just feel very unfair the way my thoughts are being asserted against.
It's just thoughts. We were watching the news when we saw ppl protesting along indonesian streets. My dad commented it's May Day and Indonesia is protesting while Singapore is celebrating. The great irony occurs because of our good government.
Just for a fact I need to shout out. I am appreciative of what the government has done here and I am in fact feeling very fortunate to be born here and not any place else. But I guess it all happened when I started commenting that majority of the ppl in the world are afraid of change and hence most will probably go with the current system.
My mom started saying that may not be so since she heard there's alot of taxi drivers going towards the opposite direction. Then I started saying it might not be so bad to have an opposition. Challenge brings about improvement. That's when all the mouths around me started cracking up.
By the assertive nature of my very persistent dad, I started getting comments that I am unappreciative of my upbringing, youngsters like me think only about challenging the norm, then saying that the other parties don't have the trust of others because of their inexperience blahblahblah. All things juz came bombarding my direction which I felt was pretty much nonsensical because that was not where I am getting at. I don't believe I need anyone to counter my thoughts since I wasn't aggressively throwing them at anyone, let alone anyone accepting my idea.
The blow came when he started targetting me as an individual, which I found it totally abhorent, since he was doing that to me all my life. My brother started saying how good the government is and how everything is good bcos of them. I seriously don't find it credible since it came out of the mouth who had practically everything he wanted, and has not earned his own living as a human being. What right does he have to talk about the good in govt when he's at nature so extreme in his thinking in racial issues. Fuck.
There were so many things going on, and before we know it, we were practically screaming our lungs at our political stand. Perhaps only they but not me. I was juz raising my views and I got loads of shit.
Then my dad started saying what's so nice about going overseas because you become a second class citizen. I thought it might be bcos he heard me saying about a master's course in melbourne uni. That's when I told him he made a good example of someone who doesn't like change, and just so you know, the ppl protesting on the streets, their lives may be affected and hence they are protesting. Sometimes the route to be "normal" like us isn't accessible to ppl like them. So give a thought before you give overgeneralizations on others' ppl lives you may not have been "fortunate" enough to experience.
He started saying I was unppreciative enough all over again. Get this, I am appreciative of my citizenship here! What I feel is that I become a scaredy cat on the day when I was born. Everything is perfect here, everything goes well. I remembered myself eating beef during the mad cow disease epidemic like nobody's business cos at that time I truly was confident of the govt's actions in qc-ing the beef that comes across. Hah! That's my trust. But at the same time, this trust is turning into dependence, when you have no chance to truly experience something bad that comes along. Hence,change may not be that bad really. I gain something, I lose something. It all depends on the priority of that characteristic you lose.
This might not sound convincing to you, but this is not my assertion on you. You don't have to accept it. You like it, you read it, you don't like, so be it. So I hate ppl when they try to tell me what is good and bad, what is good you tell me? How will you know? And what makes you think I am totally wrong when there's no right answer to this. The key here lies in majority. Sanity is not statistical. For all I know, thin is not beautiful in the beginning years.
I just hate it when my family brings their thoughts on me. It's like I don't even have a say in my own views. Come on, the govt gives me voting rights, so please give me a chance to even have a breather. I have no chance of choosing my education without getting side eyes from them. What is wrong? Choosing a different education is a way to bring my life down to the dumps? Is that it? The sad thing is I am beginning to think like them and perhaps that is why I am choosing to stop hindering in anything I see, that, including my life. See the first thing that I start voicing out, I get burnt like mad.
You might think my life is good. But what is my priority? Is that what I want? You can give a hungry begger loads of clothes when the first thing that he need is the next meal. I can try my best to get my commission in, but at the cost of my time, and loss of satisfaction from the job, or my life when you start to wonder if this is how all will end eventually. This is sick.
I know what I want, I have the options going, but I just don't have the courage to take a step in, because like everyone else, my life is contented, why take a chance when things could get worse and I get nowhere. That is my point, but not what I'll eventually choose. And that was what I was saying all along.
I totally hate them. Serious.