Christmas isn't Christmas

Christmas isn't Christmas
'Till it happens in your heart.
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts.

So give your heart to Jesus
You'll discover when you do
That it's Christmas,
Really Christmas for you.

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire
A light like a candle's glow
He's waiting now to come inside
As he did so long ago.

Jesus brings gifts of truth and light
And makes them bloom and grow.
So welcome Him with a song of joy
And when He comes, you'll know that

Christmas isn't Christmas
'Till it happens in your heart.
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts.

So give your heart to Jesus
You'll discover when you do
That it's Christmas,
Really Christmas for you.

My other half

I realised most of the blogs I read referred their other half to dear, darling, etc etc. I thought back and found it weird I've never reflected Wenyao in any of my writings in a beloved-meaning tag. Hah, but I realised in my everyday speech, I've called him loads of stuffs besides Wenyao. I remembered once I called out his name, and he looked at me as if I've just spouted vulgarities to him. Then he blankly asked me why I called his name. Funny yah, give "name calling" to a whole new level.

He has loads of names in my dictionary. I call him Hubby, Dear, Papa (my future kid's father). Not forgetting the Oie and Wei's of course.

I guess I just find it weird to pen a tag for him, of cos assuming everyone who reads my blog already know who he is.

I've been experiencing some deaths recently. Got me thinking about what I'm gonna do if my other half goes before me, or vice versa. I'm not a person who deal openly with death. I may seem OK, but I know subconsciously I'm always grieving, and grieving way too long and in too much in denial to want to know it.

So I've thought up a plan. I shall plan the grieving process for my other half. And I hope my other half will do it for me too. *hint hint* My other half told me he doesn't need the stuff which I'm planning, but just in case. I do hope I get it if he should pass before me, because technically I thought of it because I need it!

Anyways, the plan is this. I shall write the stuff which I feel ought to be remembered, and pen them in entries so that after my death, my other half can read it. I think the worse part of losing someone is the loneliness that follow, so by reading what I wrote about us, it could be way easier in dealing grieve on your own. Albiet, to some, it might sound pretty spooky. Haha, but I think that should work for me. Of course, I'll probably slots comments on grieving in between to aid in the process.

Of course, this will only work if I live enough to write entries fit for a 6-month read (my targeted healthy grieving period) So, I shall start planning now!

Such a great idea, I think I'm a genius!

P/S: WY, please start writing after your exam...

My dad is a cheapo, but wenyao is worse..

Was working diligently today until an email popped up at my workplace. I'm seriously diligently working!! Especially since Zhiyuan (aka FJJ) is out for 2 weeks on reservist, and I practially have no one to suan...

Well, back to the email. It was from my dad...subject: Xmas gift and it reads...

Message Classification: Restricted

I have requested CPF Board for waiver of education loan repayment to be made by you. This is the acknowledgement number

Transaction Description
Transaction No. #######
Waiver of Education Loan Repayment #######

My mom was CC-ed in the email, so I sent a reply back

......
Regards,
Zhengyi

After which my mom replied with this.

Such a big X'mas Gift..................
Where is mine?

On seeing this, I helped her reply.

Mummy wants an LV bag. 1000 bucks. 30 years of marriage, that’s $33 per year.. cheap purchase. hahaha.

My dad's turn.

You already have me....... So greedy.............

This time my turn.

She has you but not reaping anything... you are like a plant but not bearing fruits... So the bag can be your fruit...
Anyway this one not considered xmas gift. You already said to be fair to me and bro you will pay our school fees, so technically I paid you extra for the one year! Total $2000!!! You can actually buy her 2 LV bag with that money!

Anyway my extra 200 bucks will be transferred to you still every month, not to CPF but to your personal account, because somebody just asked me to pay for all phone bills...so in a way, that's your xmas gift! And you can transfer that to her xmas bag...

All in all..i'm still the one paying for your gift to her.. so if you really want to give me a gift, you can throw in one LV bag for me as well. Small gift for 400 per month leh!!! Multiply by 12, you get4800!!! =)

OK so one LV bag for me, another one for mummy. Deal!

Mummy, we can go shopping soon!!!

After my long long email, this is his final reply...

No a big deal. I will give each of u a L(ess) V(aluable) Bag.

Me: (-_-''')

When wenyao and Jiajun came and fetch me from work, they had already heard part of the story from Uncle Raymond, whom they met outside my office, while on his way to dinner. So Wenyao was laughing away at my dad's answer.

When we went home after meeting Zeming at Ikea for dinner, he planted this as his msn nick.

I'm so glad my gf wants an LV bag (since it doesn't cost much to buy a Low Value bag)

Diao..my dad say less value, he said low...OMG!

Anyway I realised I forgot to put an important person in my Xmas list. Shitty!

My dad bought tickets for the Disney Live Mickey Magic Show at the indoor stadium for my kiddy cousins. Will be bringing 5 of them for the 330pm show this Fri. So exciting!!! Can't believe how my parents and I are going to handle 5 kids together! Gin (11), Sheanne (8), Keanne (5) Zidane (4) and Kai-ann (2). Bah! We are so adventurous!!!

The Wake

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
A human soul, wrecked body, apart.
Tears aflowing, wailing chimes,
Give and take, it all began.

Footsteps heavy, towards the wood,
A log carved out, a figure put.
A Mother's cry, a Brother's grief,
And Father's heart breaking in between.

Friends gathered, 12 long years,
Hellos exchanged, rootless words.
Awkward silence fill the air,
Smiles and shares to break the scare.

Time to go, and time to grow,
Who's to know 24 was his foe.
Goodbyes said in a hasty pace,
But memories and feelings will remain.

Thou shalt start blogging again...

Realised I haven't been blogging for quite some time. I love to write, that's why English is my favourite subject. I was shuffling through some old folders on my comp recently, and came across articles and papers I wrote during school time. It alarmed me when I finished reading them. I like how I write, or rather used to write. Sad!

It's amazing how 2 years seem to pass so fast. I lost some abilities and I gained some. But I do hope the interest in writing is not waning. I shall start blogging again for a start. Typing is way better than manually writing. Haha.

Just came back from a Taiwan trip this week. Places are interesting enough, but the tour is really bad. By tour I refer to the package which we took, the tour guide was horrible. I shall not delve further. But on a sidenote, I've decided to write in a feedback letter just to highlight my displeasure..eh hem...displeasures.

I read my last entry and to follow up on the vegan thing. Yes, I did last one week, and even better I lasted a month, eating only veg and fish plus minimal seafoods. Hah. I'm a pseudo vegan, and I want to try keeping it that way. Bad thing about it, I realised I end up eating the same food over and over again, it got quite sick but I persisted. Until I went Taiwan. OMG. There had been a flood recently, and all the crops are submerged. Turned out veg became more expensive than meat, and there was lots of meat. I had to eat some...well, I think I ate too much. Hah, but seriously, it's difficult to be a vegan in Singapore. But I shall try!!!

Well, just to update what I've been doing. I guessed it's all still the same. Good and bad, but I'm beginning to be pretty rooted to what I am doing currently. Weekends are spend heading out, or watching shows or just bumming around. Funny thing is I like it! It's the pure pleasure of a hard week's work!

Work's been the same. Some good some bad. My colleague is leaving me. Seems like every year end is a time for departure. And everyone I'm good at leaves or left. OMG, is it me or the job?! Hohoho.

Alrite, my shows are loaded, I will try to blog interesting stuff again! Although I suspect I'm the only one reading it. Hah!

What I have been up to recently...

I went for a mandarin musical last Wed on the 29th - 天冷就回来. The script was inspired by all the songs that 梁文福 wrote. I was apprehensive at first, because I don't really listen to his song, but the turn out was better than expected. I seriously recommend it, although the male cast was a lot better than the females. And I mean way better..the females' voice wasn't that stable though. But the story plot is nice. I heard the tickets were totally sold out, and the only available ones are in 2009!

There is this poem which they read during the play. By EE Cummings. And I like it.

anyone lived in a pretty how town

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did.

Women and men (both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed (but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
with by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men (both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

It seemed that the poetry style of Cummings always used non-orthodox grammer. Without the caps and all, with phrases jumbled here and there. But this poem supposedly talked about a man name someone and a woman named noone, and how minute human life is.

Got this book from Borders a few days back - Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. Made me so determined to become a vegan. Tried it for 2 days and found it so hard to buy food that is meatless! So I decided to be a pseudo vegan, I shall only eat seafood! I was super put off by the methods that the book described on animals which were killed, which was mainly cows, chickens and pigs. Super grossed out. I feel inhumane eating them. Plus of course unhealthy too, judging by the methods used to rear the animals. Wenyao said he'll give me a week and see how long it'll last. Anyway my cholesterol is super high, so I might as well try. Hah.

Let's see how long I'll last. Being a vegan also meant I should be proactive on animal rights activities. I just bought 2 pairs of leather shoes without thinking twice... Hah. It's bad huh.

Omg I realised I haven't written in such a long time, I've forgotten how to blog. My language is so uninteresting...Omg I used the word uninteresting..so boring..*roar*puipuipui*

INSEAD

It has been an agonizing 3 days. I was told of a course this week at INSEAD (Singapore Campus) only last Thursday and within minutes of knowing I was going for the course, I was hurrying typing away my application for an approval from INSEAD to attend the seminar on alternative investments - Mastering Alternative Investments (MAI)

I had read a lot of bios of fund managers which described their education in INSEAD. I never thought much about the education hub, except that it must be something great. So when Irene asked if I was interested to head to a seminar at INSEAD, I jumped at the chance. Apprehensively of course.

I was hasty in my application. I needed to send through a description of my objectives to attend the program plus my role in eurekahedge, plus a freaking long form in 15 mins! The course coordinator was leaving for the day and everything had to be processed by friday, which was 6 hours away... I was told they had to read through what I wrote before I could be admitted into the program. Unaware of the importance of the write-up, I typed everything in point form! Until I spoke to a colleague from sales (we are the 2 persons going for the program), when I realised she actually wrote in an essay for the admission, and it took her 2 days. I must say I'm lucky they processed it through and confirmed my application at the last minute. Funny though, seeing her gek reaction when she heard I wrote in point form. *evil face*

I was so worried about the program because I seriously thought I was not up to it. Unfortunately, I was so right! The next day everything was processed and I was given my access to their online program portal. After viewing the participants list, I knew I was in deep shit.

There were about 18 participants. All of them investment professionals holding high appointments - CFOs, CEOs, Fund Manager, Govt Authority. My role as an Assistant Head seemed relatively unimportant. And I was totally freaked out.

I was so quiet in all the 3 days of the program. I was taxed out. The readings were horrible, and I had to complete them within the weekend and I was rushing a proposal for a South African Counterpart due on Monday. Not to mention, this week was end month, and due to the restructuring of pay scheme, I had to increase my average funds this month.... and they were lagging like mad. I wasn't performing at all.

I was both happy and worried to be in the program. The exposure was great. I learnt things I never knew and wouldn't have expected to learn. They were difficult at my standard. Furthermore, I felt really guilty I couldn't assist much in the discussions. Mostly, I felt ashamed because I knew so little about my industry. But on the bright side, at least I added knowledge after the program, albiet some concepts are still hazy. Still, I think the marginal knowledge made all seemed better.

We had extra readings everyday after the program. Imagine my stress level when I had to read them every night. Even my mom was concerned. I had stopped studying 2 years back! And there I was, highlighting notes for the first 2 nights..

I was so glad it was over today. I think I broke into the brightest smile once the professor announced it was all over! My achievements - an INSEAD cert (I'm officially an alumni of the MAI program....) an ugly group photo, and a whole load of information I need to re-digest... Hah. Nonetheless, it was an experience not to be missed! I didn't enjoy it, but having an INSEAD stamped on my name..I think it was worth it? Hah.

*Thanks to all those who prayed for me!*

Being Fat and its negative associations

So just what are the negative associations with being fat? Let me think..an individual who's fat usually showcases these behaviors (from my experiences) - gluttony, incompetence, bad-looking, eyesore, unhealthy, unloved, sad, unconfident, ugly, bad personality?

Sad to say, I realised all these are just my experiences. I've seen people on the bigger side looking happy, very competent, confident, very much loved, pleasant to the eye, and having wonderful personality.

I've been getting these comments & suggestions from my parents in the past one month (or maybe past few years???):
1) So... when are you slimming down?
2) You should go on a diet..try eating 2 small pieces of these wheat biscuits for breakfast...
3) Did anyone offer you a seat on the MRT?
4) When was the last time you exercised?
5) You will become a potato watching TV like that, short and round..
6) Try commenting on your own fats..
7) You're still eating?
8) Didn't Wenyao comment anything on your fats?
9) He'll leave you if you don't do anything about it.
10) You'll be prettier if you weigh less.

Does anyone have any other comments on my excess fats? Sometimes I feel they will be happy if I'm anorexic or bulimic. I don't think it changes the way I am as a person. I just feel really depressed whenever they comment on such issues. Can't they see I find the comments rude and abhoring? I'm not complaining, why should they? Why can't they just accept me for who I am.

I look bigger, so I look different, so I might look less pleasant. But did that change the way I'm treating the family? Did that change the way I work in the office? Did that made me bad as a whole? If I do please let me know. These comments just made me avoid walking pass my parents while they watch TV, wearing clothes which are much looser, going for meals with them, carefully selecting clothes which do not make me look pregnant, and having them see me munch on food...

I feel judged in a very bad way. I seriously think to be a good daughter, I must be anorexic or bulimic..Why do I feel like it's starting all over again...

Introducing...DAN the MAN...

I have a new colleague in the office. Real perk-me-up ever since he joined us. Cos when I'm bored I bully him, and he can do nothing about it!!! His suaning really helps to strengthen my brain amidst the mundane work. BTW his nickname is Fei Ju 1 aka FJ1. (I'm FJ2).

These are the few conversations we had on skype...

While he's working US hour....
Dan says: :(
Zhengyi says: yyy?
Dan says: cos i am working now
Zhengyi says: no worries..i m watching bleach here
Zhengyi says: can pei u
Zhengyi says: (devil)

While I was complaining about the shower head malfunction...
Dan says: sad case
Dan says: i tink you got to go 7-11 buy mineral water to clean yourself
Dan says: alternatively lick like the cats
Zhengyi says: omg
Zhengyi says: my dad went and dunno press wad then it work
Zhengyi says: now i scared i go bathe then will get electrcuted
Zhengyi says: pray for me!
Zhengyi says: ok i'm gonna bathe now
Zhengyi says: in case i dun come back alive
Dan says: Dear god
Dan says: pls... do as you wish
Zhengyi says: just want you to know that you are not so bad a co-worker
Dan says: relieve her of suffering
Zhengyi says: ok i take back my word
Zhengyi says: goodbye my friend
Dan says: leave me something!!!
Zhengyi says: i left u wonderful memories my friend
Zhengyi says: that should be the most precious thing ever
Zhengyi says: i'm alive!!!!
Zhengyi says: but u can keep the memories


While a fund manager called him on skype and he has no phone connected to his PC...
Dan says: hey this guy added me
Dan says: then he call me
Dan says: but i cant answer
Dan says: i tink my extraction sucks
Zhengyi says: u take my phone
Dan says: he says want to go thru with me
Zhengyi says: the phone at my pc tower
Dan says: tink nvm i talk to him tml
Zhengyi says: u wan u can take my phone
Zhengyi says: nv use one
Dan says: i use it to call you later
Zhengyi says: if u going to use it to call me at 3am to go siao bian it's ok
Dan says: no lor
Zhengyi says: my bladder system very good, will wake me up if i need to go one[10:07:21 PM] Dan says: i am not so bad
Dan says: i call at every haf hr to remind you
Dan says: to cover blanket
Zhengyi says: wah so good ar
Zhengyi says: i wait for ur call lor (if u can get through while i'm logged off)[10:08:40 PM] Dan Dan says: handfone shld be fine too rite
Zhengyi says: most likely off
Zhengyi says: haha
Dan says: let me see
Dan says: this number shld work rite 6565 6902
Zhengyi says: u'll get an uncle shouting at ur ear
Dan says: i will speak politely
Zhengyi says: u'll still have him shouting at ur ear
Dan says: i can ask him to cover your blanket
Zhengyi says: u'll still have him shouting at ur ear
Zhengyi says: i think u dun wan that
Zhengyi says: most likely u'll go deaf
Zhengyi says: then tomorrow cannot do calling
Zhengyi says: wont do any of us good


While I tried to psycho him to gain weight..that's how he got to be FJ 1 btw..

Conversation with steph
[11:12:02 PM] Stephy says: i got very nice cashew nut cookie
[11:12:06 PM] Stephy says: u want to try?
[11:12:06 PM] Zhengyi says: bah
[11:12:08 PM] Zhengyi says: dun say liao
[11:12:11 PM] Zhengyi says: i'm not in office la
[11:12:14 PM] Zhengyi says: at home already
[11:12:14 PM] Stephy says: eh!
[11:12:23 PM] Stephy says: i keep thinking u are!
[11:12:25 PM] Stephy says: hahahaha
[11:12:31 PM] Zhengyi says: only dan
[11:12:34 PM] Zhengyi says: u can offer him
[11:12:37 PM] Zhengyi says: he's in denial mode
[11:12:41 PM] Stephy says: ya i saw dan
[11:12:41 PM] Zhengyi says: he thinks he's not hungry
[11:12:46 PM] Stephy says: ahahahaha
[11:13:13 PM] Stephy says: i should bbq my chicken wings in the oven
[11:13:20 PM] Zhengyi says: hahaha
[11:13:21 PM] Stephy says: then walk into the room
[11:13:26 PM] Stephy says: sit there & says
[11:13:40 PM] Stephy says: Zee says u are not hungry, so doesnt matter where i eat my wings

Next..on Dan's window..
[11:14:45 PM] Dan says: idiot
[11:15:11 PM] Dan says: you ask steph to give me chocolate!!!!
[11:15:32 PM] Zhengyi says: i didn't!!!
[11:15:42 PM] Zhengyi says: (angel)
[11:15:53 PM] Dan says: hmm
[11:15:54 PM] Dan says: funny
[11:16:06 PM] Dan says: she said you said i am in denial mode
[11:16:13 PM] Dan says: then offer me snacks
[11:16:19 PM] Dan says: and i had to take one chocolate
[11:16:33 PM] Zhengyi says: i tell her to offer u chicken wing
[11:16:34 PM] Dan says: sian... i look rounder suddenly

Next on Stephy's window again..
[11:15:54 PM] Zhengyi says: he scold me eediot
[11:15:56 PM] Stephy says: ahahahaha
[11:15:59 PM] Zhengyi says: say i ask u to give him
[11:16:04 PM] Zhengyi says: i ask u to give him chicken wings
[11:16:06 PM] Zhengyi says: not choc
[11:16:08 PM] Zhengyi says: not enuff!
[11:16:11 PM] Stephy says: lol
[11:16:18 PM] Stephy says: really ar?
[11:16:25 PM] Stephy says: he think he will eat?
[11:18:43 PM] Stephy says: tell him that little choc cookie have 75 calories
[11:18:48 PM] Stephy says: FYI
[11:18:50 PM] Stephy says: ahahaha

Needless to say, I pasted the calories to him. FYI...

Hahaha!!!! Going for supper with WY now~!!!

Redang dang dang dang...

Typically boring. I know...I'm being really negative about this..but there's really nothing to do there. But but but..the main aim is to spend time with WY, to rekindle the romance, to relax, and I hoped I did..

Took the 2230 bus to Shanbandar Jetty (Terrangganu) on Thursday night. The bus ride was bumpy and freezingly cold! Nonetheless, I did manage to sleep here and there during the ride. One of the best moments though, was watching the sky full of stars! The routes were so dark I cannot imagine how the driver could see. Heng heng, I arrive in one piece at the jetty.

We reached the Jetty at around 630am, whole 8 hours!!! The earliest ferry that will take us to Berjaya Redang Beach Resort is at 1030am!!! *Peng*After an agonizing wait by napping, watching cutesy cartoons, ds-liting, we finally set off on the ferry. I dozed in and out while watching Kung Fu! Reached there in 90 mins, and a hotel bus had to ferry us to the hotel, which took another ten mins or so. Saw some cows and goats along the way. Rustic idyllic experience coming my way!

The room was fantabulous. All that for the amount we paid for I should say the room was worth it. We got the hillview rooms, and no thanks to Zhiyuan, who kept saying hillview rooms cannot see the sea, because if so, it doesn't make sense for the categorization of hillview & seaview rooms. Fortunately, he was wrong!!! Hillview rooms can still see the sea! And even better, we can see the hills too. Hahaha! I believe the seaview rooms were on a level above us, which is stupid money to be paid, cos you still need to climb more stairs. But I should give a pat on the back for choosing these rooms, because the area where our chalets were situated, is the kind of place you should run to in times of a tsunami alarm. High level you see...it's on the hills. Good job done!

Boring people us, we spend the rest of the afternoon sleeping until we got to dinner! (Wenyao said we come here to relax, so sleep is a solution...)

Next morning we headed for our round island snorkeling. I freaked out I tell you. The fishies are OK, it's just that the water is way too clear, I see everything so well! And freaking wenyao kept holding these creatures what seemed like jelly fish eggs. I was totally freaked out!!! I was shouting at him to drop them, and he kept saying they were harmless. One woman in the water yelped when she saw him doing that, kept yelling to her bf that he's touching the jelly fish. He is the courageous one, not me! I did manage to touch them at one point, kinda eeky. And he says its nice. Weird man.

We went for 4 short trips. The last one was the best. The corals were beautiful. I should say I was pretty freaked out to a point where I wasn't enjoying when I should be. I realised I get even more scared when I grow old, which is quite bad..

The fishies were the same. I dunno what their names were, so they looked all the same. Corals looked dead too, but the boatmen said they're alive. Hah. Funny. The water around was super clear. Much better than Tioman. If you stopped moving for a while, the fishies think you are part of their environment and comes nearer to you. I screamed a few times when I caught them clamouring up to me. Water there is both cold and hot. Wenyao said corals grow amongst warm and cold currents, and that's why we have that in the areas we snorkel. Amazing!

We spent the whole afternoon on the beach. Berjaya's beach is man-made. Which means it's especially amazing! Shallow shores with crystal blue waters plus soft sandy..erm..sand. The coastline is distinct with the white of the sand and the blue of the waters. And to add to that, I can see the whole view from the balcony of my room! And the balcony has two deck chairs which you can sunbathe in (which sadly weren't utilised)!

I've been growing fairer while working in Raffles Place, and I took this chance to tan myself. I fell asleep while lying on my front (trying to tan my back) and the result was horrible. I came home with a back burn (for me) and a not-so-tan front. Pui!

Because Berjaya's the better resorts (more stars) in Redang, there were loads of ang mo. It's a very family oriented resort. Most of the adults our age go to the few on the other side of the coast, called Pasir Panjang, which are less expensive and more rustic. (By that I mean, not having nice rooms like ours! Very practical kind lah) We ate at the restaurants for our meals. The food is expensive, judging by Malaysia standards, and we got sick of eating fine foods after second day lunch. Thinking of what to eat was a chore! Haha.

The third day it rained the whole day. By then we were too sunburned to tan anyway. So we did nothing much but played table soccer, congkak, watched tv, and bummed around. Relaxation turned out to be a hindrance because we were trying to find ways to relax. Or rather it was just me, I got more stressed than relaxed!

The morning of the third day we tried to head to Pasir Panjang by trekking..without a guide. Attempted to cut through the forest, but was so freaked out by the flying hornets and wasps, plus we got lost in the beginning as we attempt to cut through the jungle. We (I) ditched the plan and headed back. As we were trekking back, we saw these goats who had roamed up the hills. They looked plain silly. The moment they saw us, they just stopped their munching activities and stared at us. And we stared back. This continued until we start moving. The moment we stopped, they stared back. They look so cute, and Wenyao took a picture of me with them (staring at us..) Just the right pose for phototaking!

Come to think of it, I ate loads of muttons at the restaurants, and I hate to think that I was eating their comrades....so sinfully nice...

We decided to book a water taxi instead to Pasir Panjang, but we could only go with 4 Pax, and we had only 2. So we were kinda forced to ditch the plan, and the day was spent bumming around still. (Hint: go with 3 other friends or another couple to guarantee more activities)

Came back the next day after an agonizing 16 hour journey (I really regretted not taking the flight!!!), from 7am boat out to reaching my home at 2330. This was an OK trip I think. I realised I have become a not-so beach person. Wenyao said we could relax by spending time beaching, and there I was, bitching about anything that comes along the way. Well, well, shall post pics when they are available. (They are available now..I'm just too lazy to post..haha)

OMG

Seems like I'm the only person at home on a Saturday. I think tomorrow too. From the looks of it, all I know have something on.

I seriously have no life without WY. Now it's left with Supernatural (the series I'm chasing now), DS Lite (from Zhiyuan), and books (wenyao got me some sometime back). Truly a geek.

It has been a real family day today! Went out in the morning for tennis with my dad, only 45 mins, but I'm perspiring like mad from the cruel weather. Headed for the spa after that. Agonizing massage I should say. Haven't been doing it for a long long time, she said my shoulders are really tense from my deskbound job! Pui! Which brings about another point, I should seriously start sending resumes (after my redang trip next week..hah)!

After spa, we headed for Ivins @ Binjai Park. Super cheap. Ate a lot and costs only 30 bucks in total! Highly recommended. It's peranakan food btw. Good and cheap!

Headed for Granny's place after that. My cutesy cousin Kai-Ian is there. So adorable! Plus my little niece Jamie was there as well. It was supposed to be nap time when we arrived, but the kids got excited and skipped their nap. It was really hilarious looking at them bumming around. The TV was showing this documentary on marine life on the shores of Singapore, and Kai-Ian keep going "Look! Look!", pestering us to look at those magnificent (albeit horrendous) creatures.

My adults around kept asking them to go nap. Jamie was intend on sleeping, but Kai-Ian wasn't. So being the older (by 1 year) relative, Jamie was asked to coax Kai-Ian to bed. She kept calling out but he continued watching TV. And suddenly she took this piece of namecard from the table and went towards Kai-Ian. She kept asking him if he knows what is written on the name card, and he shook his head. Jamie said she knew how to read that (mind you, she's only 3!) and after pausing to catch his attention, Jamie proudly announces: "The words here says Go To Bed!" That really got me stumped! Funny how kids work!

My mum wanted to go to Sheng Siong Supermart after that. She's greatly influenced by this variety show on Sunday night which seems to give a lot of money away! We took Jamie & Kai-Ian there as well, plus the maid too. It was really fun pushing them around. But Kai-Ian got so tired he slept on the baby sit of the trolley! So funny! I bought him yakult to bring his attention back and he kept dozing off while sipping it! Had to hand carry him back home, but that's not without leaving a trail of blimey on my blouse. He drools...

Went to my maternal aunt's place after that. It was a celebration of her bday. Had steamboat but didn't seem to eat much. Played with her daughter Joy, and heard that she just learnt to walk. Kids are growing up fast!

I haven't really been spending time with my parents when WY was around. Now that's he stuck in Tekong, I realised that I'm around my family most of the time. That brings about another point, are my friends getting lesser? Hmm...that's not such a good news right? Hah.

Disappointments

I hate disappointments. Not any disappointments, just stuffs which are said to be done and not done. The funny thing that I realised about disappointments is that, I tend to piss the disappointer (person who disappoints), when I'm the disappointee (person who kenna disappointment). This is so hugely unfair.

So here are the 7 pointers to note:

1) No last minute changes. Please, I got to have time to plan other stuff. I cannot sit still, so don't expect me to sit at home and sulk while you disappoint.

2) Plan ahead. To the disappointer, plan ahead before you give more disappointments. Saves alot of things, say, a relationship.

3) Learn from mistakes. One disappointment is enough, SERIOUSLY!

4) Quit trying to victimise yourself. If you are the disappointer, you are the person at fault. So don't be angry at anyone, esp. not the disappointee (she's the victim here mind you).

5) Disappointee tends to be less reasonable after series of disappointments. In case you don't know, this is usually the case. Quit trying to ask for more understanding when all she gets are disappointments after disappointments, all because she is understanding. Care and understanding will be the last things on her mind.

6) If you disappoint people, make up for it. Please. Take for grantedness is a nono. Humans are not saints, they feel bad emotions.

7) Non-chalance comes at a price. Too much disappointments!

ARGGH!

Better than Ezra - A Lifetime

Allie woke up 8AM
Graduation day.
Got into a car,And crashed along the way.

When we arrived late to the wake,
Stole the urn while they Looked away,
And drove to the beach'
Cause I knew you'd want it that way.

And you were standing
On the hood of the car
Singing out loud
When the sun came up.

And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.

And that REM song was playing in my mind.
And three and a half minutes
Felt like a lifetime

It felt like a lifetime

And you move like water
I could drown in you.

And I fell so deep once,
Till you pulled me through
You would tell me
"No one is allowed to be so proud
They never reach out
When they're giving up."

And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.
And that REM song was playing in my mind.
And three and a half minutes
Felt like a lifetime

Are you sitting in the lights?
Or combing your hair again,
And talking in rhymes?
Are you sitting in the lights?

When I got home, heard the phone,
Your parents had arrived.
And your dad set his jaw
Your mom just smiled and sighed.

But they left soon
And I went to my room.
Played that disc that you'd given me,
And I shut my eyes
Swear I could hear the sea.

When we were standing
On the hood of your car
Singing out loud when the sun came up.

And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.
And that REM song was playingIn my mind.
And three and a half minutes,
Three and a half minutes,
Felt like a lifetime.

Busy

I've been really overwhelmed since the start of this year. With the new takeovers, everything seemed to be in transition. Which probably means I'm doing a lot more work with a lot of backlog on my own responsibilities.

The list of things to be done seemed neverending. It would perhaps be rather negatively portrayed to see myself complaining about the load when it is just 2 weeks since I took up the new appointment. Preparations were underway late last year, I think I just need a breather. It feels so damn long.

With the approaching of the London conference, I'm both apprehensive and excited at the same time. It's a new experience, but the preparation work is so much more than I expected. Of course, with the fear of screwing up the meetings, it just brings the weariness to a greater height.

I think I need a break, it's scary to think I have never-ending work. Gross.

Jinxed

I cannot imagine how fucking jinxed I am today. The day hasn't been going well, and I was really looking forward to a great and relaxing weekend, but I guess I must have stepped on someone's toes really badly, cos I seriously cannot believe how jinxed I was...or should I say..the others around me too, unless that someone has voodooed me. Gross.

1) Woke up at 830am to head off to Amore for Kickboxing class at 930am. Stayed over at Wenyao's place the previous night so he drove me to the gym at about 9am at the Woodlands Branch. Was driving for 15 mins when Wenyao started to comment if he was going the right way. He drove to Woodlands many times already so there shouldn't be much problem about getting the right route there. I thought we were on the right track until I saw the sign "PIE(Changi Airport). We had to detour back all the way to head to Woodlands. I was 10 mins late for the class.

2) As Wenyao was driving pass Bt Timah turning towards Bt Panjang, he accidentally crossed the Red Light, and there was a fricking CAMERA!

3) When I got to the Gym, I headed to the locker room straight away. It was then when I realised my lock was moldy! (Members bring their own lock to use the daily locker.) It must have been because of the recent rain since the lock is always in the shoebag, which is always out in the Balcony. The lock just simply refuse to budge. I can't even move the buttons, much less to say about opening the lock. I took my shoebag to the class instead. (I put the rest of the stuff in Wenyao's car while he went to the bank, so only the shoebag.)

4) The instructor for the Kickboxing class was teaching Kickboxing in SLOW MOTION! OMG! How bad can that be? After the disastrous journey there, I had to finish a class in the most agonizing way. I had always wanted to attend this class because of the optimal timing but it was always fully booked. Imagine my surprise when I managed to book it at the last minute! (And my slot was last!) Goodness. And I couldn't hear her instructions, much less see her body movements. Bloody many people. Plus, she didn't explain the footwork. Gross.

5) After the agonizing class, realised my PURSE was MISSING! This is the WORST straw of all. It makes the whole day seemed awfully awfully BAD. I still had it before I attended class. I took it out of the shoebag to take out my member card at the elevator before heading to the class. AND IT'S GONE!!! I keep everything in the purse. My cards, my taxi claims, and I believe there are some card vouchers inside too! Gross. And the purse is the COACH purse I got from US. Fucking hell. And I bet there are some other things inside too. But I just cannot rememeber them. Gross.

6) We had planned to go East Coast for inline skating in the afternoon. And we headed there. I was quite apprehended because I wasn't feeling that good after all the happenings in the morning. I cannot take it if bad things continue to happen seriously. In the end we headed down, and guess what. Wenyao stopped in front of my tracks for the most number of times, especially when I was accelerating (he usually don't do that) and I almost tripped and fell on the occasions!

7) We skated for about an hour 15 mins, and the target was 2 hours though. The reason we skated for the 75 mins was because when we passed by the Hawker Centre, we could feel drops of rain, then we turned back. It was quite disappointing. When we headed back, the rain stopped and the sky cleared....

8) We decided to take a walk after that, since our feet were pretty sore from the skating. We were sitting down by the beach and watching families camping out. There was this man trying to hook up his hammock. And at that point I told WY that I've never tried a hammock, and commented if it would be dangerous. He said it wasn't. So I looked at the man tie the hammock but I realised one side of the hammock was slipping. I told WY it looked dangerous, but he said it'll stay. Then he added that I'm so KPO cos I keep minding other people's business and commenting. I just said I'm concerned because what if his daughter (a toddler) sits on it with him and fell. Next minute I know, he carried the toddler and sat on the hammock with him. Sure enough, both of them fell to the ground. And the baby wasn't sitting on his lap, she was sitting beside him. So she just went slamming to the ground with her dad beside her the moment the rope slipped. Wenyao said I just cursed them and somehow I felt true. There is another example below.

9) We headed down to Steamboat buffet along Liang Seah Street. (I was planning skating and buffet since Monday!) We went to Shaw Towers to park our car. Upon entering the carpark, and next in line for the carpark payment, I asked WY this: "Whose fault will it be if the car in front slides back and hit us?" He replied: "Of course his fault la!" Okies fine. When it was our turn, we drove straight to the machine in front, but the counter lady (the old fashion payment) told us to reverse cos the machine is not working. So WY reversed and paid. Next thing I know, he stepped on the accelerator and almost crashed into the car at the back. I told him I wouldn't say anything else bad for the day...

10) Came back home with WY to helped my dad mop the floor, saw an msn message from a person whom I last expect to see, and truth be told, not very keen to see that too. It was just at the moment when I walked into the room!!!! And that person just had to msn at that exact time. Coincidence you tell me. I say I'm just very jinxed!

Gross. I just hope the purse will come back. I'm staying home cos I think 10 jinxes is enough to conclude my day...