Cohort problem

We may earn more but we don't spend less. And that is just one of the basis behind cohort problem. Or in layman terms, generation gap.

Sometimes

Sometimes I don't know what's more triggering. The fact that you're not feeling your best and you know you are trying to avoid it. Or the fact that you are already not feeling your best and the people around you just try to push it.

Running

"A city of runners", that's the thought that came to me as I ran the Standard Chartered Half Marathon almost a week ago. This is a delayed post, because the reflections seemed to be delayed too. I'm not getting much from the 21KM run. I'm now still a little stumped, stuck, emotionless about the run. Just as I felt after the run. I didn't feel like that in my previous 10KM runs, but I felt like this with 21KM. Goodness knows what I might be thinking after a full marathon. Truth be told, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be thinking much, the pain of the gruelling 42KM would have overrode my intellect.

It's amazing to see so many people running the distance. What's their reason to run? I'm not sure. But somehow this whole running adventure, from the moment when the horn sounded at 630am sharp, to the point when the dead tired feet sweep across the finishing line, just didn't seem to be a physical activity only.

I ran, like everybody else. Always running for something, to somewhere, but not too sure where. This city of runners, a city where I used to be part of that human race, of which I'm constantly trying to get out. It's not easy, not when everyone in the whole city are runners. It's suffocating to walk or stop without getting hit at points you hate. The runners may jab and mock you unknowingly. Sometimes knowingly. The crux here is to embrace comfort in the hits. Until you find a not so popular race opening itself to you. Then you realised the race which majority ran is not the only race you know. It's when you realized you are a runner once again, running a race, that's not too much like the usual running, or the usual race.

Once the horn sounded, I move. I continued to jog on the spot even when the mob of runners came to a halt at a junction leading to Tanjong Beach. I became remotely aware that I'm a runner at heart. (If you know me, you know I'm not referring to physical running.) I just like to move, to move ahead of everyone else, no matter how small my steps may be. As long as I'm moving, I'm making progress. Of course, at this point, I'm not making any progress in distance. But I'm making progress in endurance, the unwillingness to stop even when circumstances halt. Endurance is a good word. The flip side, is obstinance. The inability to relent for god knows what reason. In my world, it only goes to show that I hate stopping. Not even willing to take a rest. I'm automated to move, and I want it that way, but does not necessarily means I like it. I'd love a rest but I'm too scared to rest. Perhaps an inward need. But not to worry, I am changing.

I often have this fear of lagging behind others. Looking at my friends now, I realised I'm late and early at the same time. Different perspectives. Wenyao was running alongside me most of the time. For the first time, we ran together. An activity which I've always preferred alone. Most of the times he was faster, but I always knew where he would be if I finally caught up with him. Which I eventually did. I did lag behind, but I caught up, in my own pace and my own time.

I didn't have a reason to run. Or perhaps an inspiring reason to run. I wanted to run just because. Just because I didn't run a half marathon before. Perhaps I just wanted a fulfilling 3 hour on a Sunday morning. Or perhaps I just wanted to complete a journey I didn't think much of. Or maybe I'm just running because everybody else seems to be doing it, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't one who lacked the experience when it becomes a table topic. Kiasu, you say. I'm sure I am. I'm a Singaporean. And damn proud of it.

I probably can't remember what I experienced in the run. Maybe I wasn't present to what was happening within. Or maybe my brain was just fried from the running. Nonetheless, I've still earned great lessons without remembering the true experience.

1)  The walk to the destination is worse than the run - Yes, I'm talking about the pain once you stop running.
2) There's always a loved one out there who's running ahead of you, but waiting for you to catch up.
3) Not everyone is running to a destination they want to reach
4) Not everyone knows what's the destination to reach
5) As Confucius say: The journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step, and an add-on from me: Which journey of a thousand miles would you want to start with that single step?

Oxymoron

Am I early,
Because I lagged?
Or have I lagged behind,
Because I found out early?

Colder

In a span of 2 years, I somehow feel the world has gone a little colder.

Parallel Universe

I'm thinking maybe in my parallel universe, I'm still 14. I wonder what big changes I will make with that small little step.

那些年。。。

Caught the movie 那些年我们一起追的女孩, got a little overwhelmed by the entire movie. I guess it speaks differently to different people. To me, it's a really depressing show, even after knowing logically that it's a story with 2 endings. It's a show I hate, but will hate even more if I ever forget.

I think I lost something in my youth. Maybe a sense of playfulness, naivety, or childish behavior? Or simply the know-how to love, to embrace life, to really smile without controlling, to be, to just be. Someone once said I never give in full, and that I always keep a part of me back, to my world. Makes me realize my world isn't complete. Because somewhere, somehow, this world doesn't have the whole of me inside. It has everyone, except me. And the ironic part is, it's my world.

Not too sure why I'm speaking in tongues, but I cannot quite get why I'm saying all these in the first place. I'm getting emotional looking back at my past entries. Maybe I'm reflective, maybe I'm being nostalgic over the past. Or maybe I'm just starting to realize what I'm missing out in life, missing out because I kept a part of me to myself. Missing out because I was afraid of getting hurt, of being disappointed, of being left alone, abandoned. I'm a train that has lost its engines and I hate that analogy. Moving as it should, and I don't know who is my train master. What have I missed? I don't know if I can ever find it back. Question is, what is  this it?

All I know is I stopped somewhere, and I'm trying to start again from where I stopped. And I feel like I'm pleading for someone to give me the answers to what is happening now. But somehow only silence replied me. Silence is deafening and quiet all at the same time. They are speaking, lips moving and twitching, but no sounds could be heard. Or rather sounds that don't make sense. When did I become crippled? I have a hearing disability, or maybe I'm just disabled - with the inability to feel, to emote, to understand the condition my body is repulsing and embracing all at the same time.

I read that I was tired. I was tired once, am I tired again? What am I tired about? It's these emotions that I can't quite grasp. What was lost? I really wish I knew.

Here's a link to the song of the movie, hard and meaningful lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQTfE1W5GGg&feature=related

I'm really glad a movie like this came out. But this gladness, it's not a positive gladness I must say．

At least not yet.

The funny downside of teaching

Nope, I'm not a teacher, just a hobbyist who loves nurturing kids to the best of my ability. A teacher has too many negative connotations to make me want to be one. I somehow believe teachers should be renamed to nurturers to show that humane, nurturing (of-course) side of them.

Here's what I confiscated in class the other day. I'm officially a scary teacher. Funny what kids do to shift their attention from things they don't like. I wouldn't even make this a conversation. Hah.

Why I can't compete

I have no answer to that seriously, but I just fear competition. I work best through alienation, which means you put me in a corner and I just put in my best. Working WITH people to determine who's the best always jeopardize my position. Not too sure if it's the stress, but probably I thought I lost even before the race/competition starts.

Came across this little read today.

We're all running a race. 

But it isn't what you might imagine.

We don't have the same starting line.

The same distance to go. 

The same steps to take. 

Our finish lines are even in different places.

You see, my friend, we're not running on a track--

we're each running on a one-lane path.

In the Kingdom, there's no such thing as competition.

It's impossible.

Because no one else ever has or ever will run your race.

So go for it, my friend, be strong, brave, beautiful YOU all the way to the end. 

{Psst, here's a secret: You've already won.}

Funny how the phrases in blue spoke to me.

I just came back from a Cranberries concert. Few things that got me today:

1) Why would such a cool band call themselves "cranberries"?

2) The moment I said I was going to a cranberries concert, I somehow divulged my age
3) Dolores O'Riordan is 40 this year!
4) I actually remembered most of the songs from their album "No need to argue"
5) It is a MUST to stand up and jive to the music at a concert, sitting will just put you in an awkward position while you jive, it's like a half-fucked grooving.


Next up! Paramore concert. WY's favourite! It'll be a standing "seat"!

If I die young

This song has been playing incessantly on 987 recently. Somehow the lyrics caught my attention. Never before have I heard a song that specifically described death. Maybe somehow I felt connected to this song, especially the video. Somehow my interpretation was that the lady didn't die, but somehow resurrected. It's not real death, but death of a life that brings about a new beginning.

I supposed the song was inspired by Tennyson's poem, The Lady of Shalott, where the lady took a boat out after she was cursed. Before her death, she saw great things with her own eyes and not just from the mirror where she saw the sights that she weaved on her tapestry. I believed she truly lived only in that short boat ride.

When were we truly living?

I would love to have the song played on my wake =) 

Enjoy!

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song


Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls 

The road less traveled

I remembered the title as an essay topic for one of my examinations during my Junior College days. I didn't even attempted that question, because I had nothing to write on that topic. This less traveled road seemed to me like a road fit for a ranger, for a challenger, for someone who is looking for something bigger in life, someone who is comfortable not fitting into social norms, mainly because their search is something which cannot be fulfilled in the material world we know today. He/she is always someone who is courageous to chase after what seemed to be impractical in life, or rather a pursue for an ideal, a state, rather than a physical outcome. I couldn't write that essay because I was a norm. I was everyone, the safer one, the rule-abiding one, and the unsure one, who thought it's best to follow the rules of society until I got things figured out.

This figuring out took a toll on me. It took my creativity, my imagination, my happiness, and even my dignity, the main basis of what made me human. I became a machine, working round the clock, just doing my best until I got things figured out.

Eventually, I didn't get anything figured out. The one thing I figured was an answer that was right in front of me. I knew I didn't like the lifestyle I was leading but I just kept on with it. It struck me strong when I looked around at the older everyones and I realized majority of them didn't get things figured out in the end. They simply followed a rite of passage that is common to everyone.

I jumped, and I made a big jump. It was then when the road less traveled made sense. In this road, you have nothing to prepare you for what's ahead. In fact, once you chose the road less traveled, it's never one single road like everyone else. It's a legion of roads, never traveled by others because it's a road made by a person who chose this path. Most of the time, these roads were never built to perfection, instead of just traveling on the road, you have to be the person to build the road just so you can travel on it.

In this road less traveled, there's no easy way out. In this journey, you need to pack the necessary - a bottle of fighting spirit, a badge of independence, the ability to take no as an answer, an attitude of nothing is impossible, an antidote for disappointments, superhuman strength, accepting that people around you would never understand what you are going through, a humility for support from others, pills for loneliness, and most importantly, a big bag of hope.

On my road, I'm constantly plagued with situations which I avoided in my entire life as an everyone. This clash between my need for order and stability, coupled with my need for freedom, created a road which constantly meanders and yet, constantly reminds you the reason you started on this journey in the first place.

Maybe, I didn't prepare myself for this road. Maybe I thought I was prepared for this road. Yet, there's never a perfect plan for the road, because if that happens, it would be a road suited for everyone. At times, this road less traveled seemed to hurt the people you loved, because of the obligation to support you on this road they were never prepared to take, hence the misunderstandings and the notion that they can never understand the emotional roller coaster you're in. At first glance, they envied the new found freedom you have, but little do they know, this freedom comes at a cost of many downwards emotional spirals that they could never experience or understand in their everyones' path.

My road is self-built, and may not be the best. This process of building, however, simply shows the unrelenting fight for an avoidance to succumb, to be like an everyone who eventually only figured out they should have spent their lives doing what they love, instead of staying safe. It is a road to fulfillment, where at the end of the travel, even if I found nothing, I'm fulfilled just at the fact that I searched.

The road less traveled is a journey with no end, it's not a guided path with a destination. Being a path less traveled, do expect a road of loneliness and independence. Pessimist you might say, but it's about acknowledging what this new road brings. To this alternative life traveler, this road may just be the beginning of  a life worth living.

Hope

Everyone needs a bit of hope once in a while, at least that's what I thought so.

I was thinking of how my savior machine comes up each time a hopeless situation presents itself to someone close, or someone loved. Perhaps that's why I kept to that machine, because somehow  it's something I feel I have to hold on dearly. This hope is like a calling, a representation to what my life could become, or becoming.

Looking back at the many things I ventured into in the past few years, and even more so after TCC - attempting to change a culture in my department back at Eurekahedge, switching to banking, jumping to fashion, diving into Leadership, slowing maneuvering my way to Coaching, and now managing Twenty2Seven. These changes represent a hope, a hope for people to believe that there could be something more in life, something real that can be achieved. In fact, my TCC journey for me was all about hope. I saw hope that night. Amazingly, this hope was awakened that night, and it was in me ever since I was a child.

I remembered wanting to be a doctor when I saw the hopeless look on my grandpa's face when my aunt was on her deathbed. I wanted to let him know I could help his loved ones, even if he can't. Grandpa had always been resilient, and that was what I admired him for. He gave me hope when he wiped away his tears and entered her room. He showed me hope even to the day he passed.

Tonight, I saw the look on the face of a great friend whom I thought would be successful one day. He said he didn't feel he could be successful. He dabbled with the choices he had on his plate, a dish of uncertainty and resignation, choosing between eating what he likes and what he thinks is good for him. The dish has been untouched for quite sometime, and doesn't look like it will be consumed anytime soon.

The look reminded me that I should keep moving, keep inspiring, keep forwarding towards my goal. That look reminded me how when one gets stuck in life, he will need hope to inspire, to let him know things can be changed, only if one believed in that hope. Sometimes I need that hope too.

The mentor might say this place is for dreamers, but a dreamer I may be, I am still a realist. Because when I dream, I make it real, and I dream other things again. The key is to translate those dreams to reality, and that makes inspiration, and cause others to dream. To me, that is hope. I wouldn't understand why else would God give people the ability to dream, and let us do nothing about it.

The only way to lead people is to show them a future: a leader is a dealer in hope. 
                -- Napoleon Bonaparte


And of course, a dealer who believes and makes his way to realize the hope. My mantra, it shall be.

Four-squared

Sudden thought of the day: Isn't it oxymoronic that when we were young, we hated parents or people asking us relentlessly where we were when now we are the people who are constantly using four square?

I wished!

Today marks the second last lesson of my Creative Writing class with Bukit View Primary School. I'm really proud to say I had a great time in class today. To be honest, I would enter the class apprehensively every time I have lessons with them. Why? Because the form teacher would be sitting at the back - marking her books, frowning here and there, looking up at me, giving a confused look etc etc. Important point was she was never smiling. I can't imagine going to work with that upset look all the time. How's that going to inspire learning? This, I will never understand.

Nonetheless, could be because the set up was good, could be because the students were just surprised to see me (last week I told them there was no lesson this week, which the staff eventually pushed forward but didn't inform the students...), or could be because my prayers were answered, (HAHA), the class was pretty spontaneous today. We threw out loads of ideas to the writing, which was what I really loved. That meant I did a great job as a trainer aka facilitator. (note: NOT TEACHER!)

Midway through the class, I heard drums and all sorts of percussion going on, and couldn't help but ask what's the commotion about. Seemed like some students were having choreographed percussion for music class! (You know where they use whatever they can find to make music, like stomp?) I was caught by surprise. The din (they were not very choreographed unfortunately) was really bad for my class, but I can't help but smile at the activities the school engaged the students in.

I looked out of the window next, and instead of the usual mass PE of just moving limps for the sake of exercising, the students were clad in guards and helmets of what looked like they were learning inline skating on feet! Boy! Was I amazed. I wished my primary school was this fun! Really felt this school was really engaging the students in a more wholesome aspect. Even made me think perhaps this is the school that I should be sending my kids to!

The teacher in class may be strict and unsmiley, but I guess they are really putting people where they should be. Fun activities with fun teachers, and solemn learning with erm...unsmiling teachers. I checked with a friend who's a teacher in another school and found out from him that different schools have different activities depending on the staff and direction of the curriculum. I'm starting to love the principal already. The head really makes a difference! And we are talking about a difference in learning, a difference in the ATTITUDE towards learning and school. That's a good thing to teach!

I feel enlightened and hopeful! (probably thought the MOE education sucked based on so many schools I went to so far, but this one's totally different!) To think I woke up at 530am this morning! Totally worth the experience!

The simplicity of satisfaction

Had a dream about grandma the other day, realised I haven't been visiting her in a long while. Somehow felt that dream was an omen after a discussion with Wenyao, and thought it was time I spend sometime with her, something I used to do when I was younger. She is the one who basically brought me up. In fact, she's like a real mother to me.

Called her and offered to buy her lunch, and she said she wanted Nasi Lemak. Went to a nearby place where it sells good Nasi Lemak only to find that it was sold out. Headed out to another market and found a stall selling Nasi Lemak. Was a little apprehensive because it was in chinese style, because she loved the small fried fish of the local cuisine and they don't sell it.

Still, bought a packet and headed down to her place. Somehow realized she has aged a lot. She's close to 90, and just passed her 87th birthday (if I remember correctly). She didn't talk as much as we used to, and I realised she had difficulty eating the fried foods that came with the Nasi Lemak. Felt a little guilty for not paying attention to her needs. It has been a year since I really spent quality time with her. Somehow my fear of separation made relationship with her an avoidance. I really loved her and that was why I was afraid to be near her.

My grandma ate the rice bit by bit. Amazingly, she finished the whole packet of rice. She commented the rice was really good and actually finished it up. Even the maid says she usually never eat much rice. I felt really satisfied she enjoyed her lunch. I guess it's the thinking where a small action like this could make her feel joyful about a normal lunch. The memory of her eating that meal was etched in my mind. I felt contented just looking at her enjoying a simple meal.

I guess it's the simplicity of life where the joy begins.

Jessie J - Who You Are

Met up with Zhangyi for dinner after so many months. It's funny because in the beginning we were just chatting about what we have been up to. I felt a little awkward initially because we haven't seen each other for so so long, unlike last year, where I see him almost every day.

At one moment, he turned and just blatantly declared that he really missed me. I was almost moved to tears. Don't get me wrong, it's not the love you are thinking about. Rather, it's sort of a brotherly-sisterly love, a pact that can only be formed while working with him constantly in LP. Hah. It was funny, and I told him it actually sounded like him declaring his love for me. We laughed about it after and I realised he's not the only one I missed dearly but I miss the entire wave too. Such a family, nowhere to be found. At the BBQ last Sunday, Emma was just declaring that we are a family and that we have to share things together. Hah. That statement resonated in me. I wonder if we were a real family related by blood, how would the hierarchy looked like. That would have been one hell of a family.

We caught up with what we were doing, and had a little chat about our LP journey, about how some of us are struggling and yet not giving up. We talked about books and learnings about our own journey after LP. It was nice yet nostalgic. Gave me a little more energy and knowledge.

On the way home a song was playing in my iphone. It's funny how God speaks to you in so many different ways. I've listened to this song for so many times, and never a time like this, it resonated so much. Pretty much about what Zhangyi and I talked about, and about how I'm personally feeling and going through right now.

Jessie J sang this at the subway station. Amazing voice she has. Even amazing lyrics.

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars.
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are.

Enjoy =)

Poet with the cutsey bob

Finally started a blog with my poems. Realized I wrote quite a bit over the years in my first ever moleskin notebook. Shall post them up one by one.

Introducing poet with the cutesy bob at rattlematter.blogspot.com.Visit the site to tease some brain cells. (Sometimes I write in circles!) (To Emma, BOB does not mean Bobina, it means my hairdo! I wrote that phrase in one of my earlier poems too! Seems like I have a affinity with BOB already. Heh.)

Finally completed uploading the pictures for the online shop. The rest is up to Dickson to handle. Can't wait!

My business is getting worse! (-_-''') Lowest ever, and I better make it well. I NEED SOME IDEAS!

Secretly, I think Nic is worried. He's asking to meet to view the samples! As the mentor, I think he is more urgent than me. Appreciate that though =))

Woot!

I changed my blogskin! Been sometime since I figured out the settings of blogger and realized they have loads of new functions.

I read through my entire blog yesterday. Pretty much summed up my entire life in 3 hours. I realized there were many mentions of me wanting to go back to being young. It's weird because I think I did inquire about consciousness ever since I started writing. Amazing.

Anywayz, found a white hair this morning! It just sprang out of nowhere while I was blow-drying my hair. Maybe it's a hint to acknowledge that I am indeed getting older, and that I should simply embrace what I have now and what I might be having in the near future. =) Who says future can't be better than the past? Look forward!

Had to submit some baby photos for the upcoming Nation Pride event, a collaboration where all local designers submit a tee shirt design for our dear young nation. I scouted out so many photographs. Hah. I must admit, I'm really ugly as a kid. Freaking ugly. My parents were not even joking when they said they thought they took the wrong kid home. Where did the comparison come from? From my brother! He's dashing! So people do wonder you know.

Thank God, he kept working on my face after my birth! Hah. See the changes below!

See this baby? It's me! I was shocked when I saw this. But the resemblance is uncanny. Hah!

Can you recognize the downward bending lips? Realized I didn't have much hair when I was younger. See! Someone is still working on me!

I knew I was a prodigy. My dad said I was playing Beethoven's Fur Elise when this picture was taken.

Growing up! The cuteness is starting to show... Phew!

My favourite series. The favourite pics are all in this attire. See the hair then, and now? Great fashion sense start young, no wonder I'm attracted to this photo.

Needless to say, just one word. Cute!

Was so tempted to give this photo for Nation Pride. See the symbolic Merlion behind. A pity my face can't be seen properly. I'm in white and pink again.

Loved this pic, so ugly but adorable.

Check out the hair! I remembered this hairstyle! It was a horrifying time.

Take a second look at this! You'll never see Zee so confident in a swimsuit. Hah. Yet, the  geeky hair remains.

I'm in my Kindergarten uniform. Here's my cousin Zheng Kuang. My daily companion when I grew up!

I remember this! I was K2! My hair was so short that I cried when this style was cut. I even took the initiative to wear a hat to hide the hair. I'm out with a bunch of school kids from the kindergarten my aunt owned. Guess which one I am. Very easy. Choose the cutest one.

In primary school! Finally the eyes are enlarging!

Primary 2! At my aunt's other day care centre. I loved the top. It had a sexy back! Hahahaha. The longest hair I ever grown btw. With my cousin, the girl who's the model for Twenty2Seven's online shop.

Went back to the ugly hair after. Used a hood to cover it. Muhahahaha. Check out my mum's outfit. Maybe can inspire the next collection. =)

And finally!

A picture taken during a family vacation when I was 12 years old. Check out the Supermodel stare!

So here it goes. All the pictures I rummaged. A walk down memory lane. Could feel my parents' nostalgia as I flip them through. But well, it's up to me to make the life of the girls in these pictures fantastic!

Hello Planeteers!

This is a post to welcome the planteers sisters! I don't believe anyone else is reading this so it's ok to post this message.

Yes, you are on the right blog. Nice layout eh? Haven't changed it since donkey years.

Take a tour and have a look, put this blog as a favourite link, because it is coming alive!

Muacks,
Zee

Beautiful me!

Initially wanted to post this on Twenty2Seven's blog, but thought it was too personal. Hahaha.

Twenty2seven will be releasing a new dress at the end of May just for the Great Singapore Sale. This GSS special is limited in quantity and I'm super excited to have it on our racks! There have been different views on the dress, but still, I think it's nicely done, and hopefully our customers feel so too!

Got the sample done up last week and was sashaying with it while doing the fit, when I stood on the weighing machine. I have been procrastinating weighing myself ever since god knows when. And that began an interesting conversation between WY and I.

Zee: Oh gross, I'm 54KG.
WY: Is that good or bad?
Zee: What do you think?
WY: Seems light, I'm 20KG heavier.
Zee: Let's just put it this way. I'm 54KG 6 months into our marriage, I was 51KG when I married you, and 32KG when I met you!

That realization struck me deep! (with respect to how much weight I gained!!!) And the funny thing is, WY still saw me as the 15 year old I was ever since we knew we had feelings for each other. So mushy I know, but yet, rather endearing. Hahahaha. And that was perhaps why I didn't feel motivated to change myself, because I'm OK with who I am, and the important person in my life is perfectly OK with how I look!

Haa,and that is what is meant by Selena Gomez's "I'm no Beauty Queen, I'm just Beautiful Me"!