End 2006

This is the last day of 2006. The year passed so fast. I don't even think I achieved anything in the whole year. Went through my goals and wishlist for 2006, should see what I've done! Italics are the one written at the beginning of this year! (Red for non-achievement, green for accomplishments)

Goals for 2006
1) Lose 5 KG and maintain! (Not really possible..but well..whole world going skinny so I must pretend I'm trying to do that. Hah!) - I didn't lose 5kg, in fact I think I gained 5kg instead..sad!
2) Be more confident & spontaneous - Erm..still trying
3) Strike 100 funds per month (at least 5 per day) (Judging from last week..abit not possible..sonz) - I think I only strike that for 2 months, but well, the number of funds I got in sounds quite an achievement already.
4) Workout at least 2 times per week - Hahaha, nope
5) Complete Baptism - I visited church even less this year..bad bad bad...
6) Visit one nice country with wenyao, tentatively Japan =) - I didn't visit Japan, he went without me! But, I visited US and Bangkok with him, plus I went Shanghai & Hong Kong too! Quite an eye-opening achievement ay?
7) Save 300 per month (pte account) - I saved more than that! Until I spent them all for travels!
8) Spend 50 per week (meals) - Didn't achieve that. My weight gain is the proof!
9) Spend 40 per week (transport) - Yeah I think I achieved it, wenyao drove me back most of the time! His fuel is not in my budget. Hahahaha.
10) Be a nice person! (Gossip less, more understanding, more christlike etc etc) - I seriously don't think so...
11) Join standard chartered 10 KM run! Hahaha. - Yeah I did that!!! Completed in 1hr 10 mins 12 seconds!
12) Start something (ZEP – Zee Entrepreneurship Program) - Nah!
13) Learn French - Soon I hope!
14) Start fashion education - It's on my list next year!

WishList 2006
1) Inline Skates - I got one pair!!! Plus one for Wenyao!!!
2) Bowler Bag for Gym - Don't need this, money saved!
3) Tiffany Bean Necklace - I didn't remember this was on my list! Good! Money saved!
4) PDA - Don't need this too!!! Even better, more money saved!
5) Upgrade PC - I didn't upgrade! But Wenyao got me a new one for Christmas!!!!!
6) Buy a nice designer bag - next year next year!!!
7) Ultimate Fricking Expensive Fruit Juicer (for mum) - She didn't need that..I save the money!
8) New watch (Armani, Diesel, Adidas) - I got an Armani one from US, dirt cheap!
9) Shoe Rack - Still looking for a suitable one!
10) New jeans - I got one from US, but looked quite obiang, I should be having this on my list next year again...
11) A top from Gstar - I shopped at Gstar, the tops were horrigible! Lucky I didn't waste it, but I think I spent the money on something else as a substitute =p
12) Win a lucky draw prize from Uncle’s annual company dinner! (This year I must win something!) - I didn't win anything...but I have a chance next year!
13) Funky specs (Polo Ralph) - No Polo Ralph, but I got a Tommy one! Looks quite lian though.
14) Funky shades - I got 2 from US, one my colleages said look like a bumble bee, another one never had a chance to wear..tsk tsk

I shall have a new list for 2007. I hope it would be a year of good changes though!!! Happy New Year everyone!

Freedom to type

Read some articles recently on the slamming of the RJC girl who seemed to have elitist attitudes towards ppl who are less "elite" than herself. Suddenly realised the reason blogging could sometimes feel so difficult when at times you just wish to rant out the hurts and unfairness in the world. Created a blog so I could rant and rave about things irresponsible and tabooed to the public ears. Guessed a blog is no longer a private column to shout about life but perhaps the evolution of a public portal with comments link serving as a forum to slammed what you typed as right or wrong.

What's wrong with a girl venting her fustrations? Seemed like anyting with the subject of "class", "race/ethnicity" and "notion of how our government should work" are constantly being put to show on our local newspapers. Where's the freedom to even type? I find myself thinking hard of my construction of sentences in case they sound wrong to some people. Haha.

Well, maybe that's why blogs are usually people putting photos about their life, trying to hype up the mundane stuffs that are constantly the same everyday. Where's the will to think? I can think about the poor, which links to the bureaucratic proletariat and bourgeoisie's society, which makes you wonder why things work the way they do? I guess most stuffs should be kept thinking in your brain. Then again, why do you need to pen them down? Let's just say it's a form of release.

The issue about the RJC girl is her thoughts, not her physical features. For those who had made fun of her womanly figure, woe be to you that one day you may have the same exact humiliation! Seriously, if she was pretty like Dawn Yang maybe she would have gotten better reviews, but then again, many would propose she might have gone through plastic surgery. Well well well... The world is materialistic. Ppl think differently, so spare a thought for this young abberation. I'm sure non-elite like us may not have the liberation to experience what an elite like her may have to go through in our own belief of her "hassle-free" life. She needs an output, just like many of us I guess. She's just been made an example and I really pity her. So many examples around lately, e.g. Tammy NYP (and my gf's bf actually recognize her out on the streets!) How the hell are the examples gonna carry on with their lives?

The government always says Singaporean are bo chup. But seriously, we just like to chup the deviant examples in our life, always the first to point out what it should have been instead. That doesn't get us into trouble I guess. Haa.

I'm not hating her like the fellow cyber commentators, just thought it's sad she's made an example. But well, consequences are high. So mouths will be kept shut. What happens to the future of Singapore? More control is what I feel.

Read George Orwell's 1984. Sad book, parts of it true though.

Can you understand me?

Können Sie verstehen? Ich verstehe mich nicht manchmal. Ich möchte zurück gehen, zu möglicherweise swei Jahre Rückseite. Ich war dann jünger. Ich fühle lebendiger. Möglicherweise habe ich keine Verantwortlichkeiten. Ich bin nur zwei Jahre älter, aber Ich glaube, wie Ich sehn Jahre älter bin. Ich hasse meine Arbeit manchmal, aber hasse finanziell instabil sein mehr. Ist das tragische Leben so? Ich bin nicht sicher, warum wir lebendig sind. Gott hat Pläne, die Bibel sagt, aber Ich kann nicht, lang es nimmt, um die Antwort zu kennen. Möglicherweise bin ich von alles gerade müde. Ich hoffe, daß jeder wie ich denkt. Mindestens ich weiß, daß ich normaler Mensch bin.

TV night!

I used to love Monday because it was TV night! And I never had a TV night in ages! Came home early with a backache, sat on the sofa immobile and switched to channel 18. It was splendid! Hadn't watched TV in a really long time. Caught Everybody loves Raymond and Yes Dear!!! Super Shiok! Wished I had more of this. Hahaha.

Five for Fighting - World

Got a package full of Wishes
A Time machine, a Magic Wand
A Globe made out of Gold

No Instructions or Commandments
Laws of Gravity or
Indecisions to uphold

Printed on the box I see
A.C.M.E.'s Build-a-World-to-be
Take a chance - Grab a piece
Help me to believe it

What kind of world do you want?
Think Anything
Let's start at the start
Build a masterpiece
Be careful what you wish for
History starts now...

Should there be people or peoples
Money, Funny pedestals for Fools who never pay
Raise your Army, Choose your Steeple
Don't be shy, the satellites can look the other way

Lose the Earthquakes, Keep the Faults
Fill the oceans without the salt
Let every Man own his own Hand
Can you dig it baby

What kind of world do you want
Think Anything
Let's start at the start
Build a masterpiece
Be careful what you wish for
History starts now...

Sunlight's on the Bridge
Sunlight's on the Way
Tomorrow's Calling

There's more to this than Love

What Kind of world do you want
What Kind of world do you want

What Kind of world do you want
Think Anything
Let's start at the start
Build a masterpiece

History Starts Now

Be careful what you wish for
Start Now

FAT

Some ppl often commented how conscious I am about my body size. I'm not thin, but I'm not extremely overweight either. Perhaps I should explain a bit why I get seriously worried whenever I seem to put on negligible weight when others feel I still look the same.

Was on the way home from grocery shopping with my parents today when we stopped at a traffic light. My dad pointed to this lady who is walking next to the road and asked me "What will you do if you grown to be her size eventually?" The woman was bigger than me, very much taller too. I said, "I'l never be her size cos she's way taller than me." Knowing my dad was talking about the horizontal size rather than the vertical size, I just wanted the conversation to stop right there. He prompted me again and I just said, "Do you want me to tell you I'll probably die than to have a size like that?" Then he went like, "I'm not saying that." So I said "what's your point in asking that question?"

My mother chirped in and said, "He's saying maybe you should start slimming down a bit if you don't wanna end up like her." She's always like that. Asking me to eat less, do more yoga, things which will make be supermodel like.

My dad defended himself, "I never said that, I was just asking a question." Then I asked again, "What's your point?" Then my mom, being the translator of his heart chirped again, "You are not fat, you are OK, we just think you'll be prettier if you lose that few KGs." Then I said, " You said I am Ok, so why do you want to change how I look now?" Then she went, "You'll look nicer if your tummy was flatter." I just stopped talking.

That is the reason why I am obsessed about my weight. I get this questions from time to time. I even have to suck in my tummy whenever I walk pass them while they are watching TV. I get comments that will drive my whole day to the lowest point just like that. It doesn't mean I'm not happy about how I look. Maybe it just feels how unacceptable they are about how I look. Sometimes I think my parents will be the happiest ppl on earth if they learned I was anorexic.

Seriously, how am I supposed to constantly be unconscious about how my body changes when I have eyes watching me whenever I am relaxing. A tummy out will send tongues wagging. Trust me, I sound exaggerated but it's true. I go my granny house wearing the clothes that cover the essential areas that send ppl talking.

The first thing I get when I reached Singapore from US was my mom saying," I thought you said you didn't eat well over there, I think you came back bigger." What a welcome home speech.

So if you see me not eating, or eating less than usual, please do not comment on me losing weight. I just don't want to gain another pound, only to get more and more depressed with each comment. Worse, please do not tempt me with any food because the consequences are dire. Not me being unhappy about myself, but others being unhappy about how I look.

I was so pissed off after the whole conversation, I just told them they were teaching the wrong things. I wouldn't want my kid to feel unacceptable just because she has more pounds than others. That doesn't make her uglier or more stupid, or someone of bad character. So please think twice before you comment about ppl putting on weight or less weight. Seriously, I don't think it will have any effect on the person's character, on her role as a child, a friend, or a colleague.

My friend once commented that one can never say another person is fat. I was curious and asked why. He said this kind of comments makes one do irrational things which will have serious consequences. I agree. Google karen Carpenters on the web.

I try to not care about how I look, but I need the help of others around. So stop saying I'm conscious when you are the one making my conscious. In fact, some ppl just don't care, and I'm really learning to be someone like that. Maybe my parents should know why I like to hang around with wy more than him. He accepts me way off than them. At least I can sit in front of the tv munching chips the whole day without anyone commenting on how much my tummy is expanding.

Monster

It's funny how big a person will have an impact on yourself when you barely know anything about her. She turned me into a monster and I really really hate her.

I'm back!

I'm back on the Monday that just passed. Haha.

All in all, this US trip was an exciting yet tiring trip. Seriously, it's more tiring for wenyao than me, haha, with all the constant driving and all!

After school last Monday, wenyao and I took off to the beach. Before that we headed to this hotdog joint called Pink's. This place is a celebrity hotdog point. There's so many celebrity pics inside. Very small place but apparently, their hotdogs have attracted people from all walks of life. They are famous for their chili, which is unlike the chili we have in Singapore. It's more like rendang I should say, only it's not spicy at all!! The thing is, there is no chili in US. The only one we found was chili sauce in a thai restaurant! Not too hot too!

We headed to Santa Monica Beach and Venice Beach after Pink's. Loads of people playing with their dogs, blading, cycling, jogging. All sorts of relaxation you can think of! Something I cannot see in Singapore. It's a Monday and people are so relaxed already. But it's nice to see people having fun despite a weekday. Funny thing in US is, I get alot of smiles from people from time to time. Walking on the street, some will just mutter a "hi" as you walk pass. This is especially true in touristy areas. Most just like to make conversation. Anyone, anywhere. But of course, there are some which are not so friendly. Haha.

On Tuesday, we headed down to Vegas. It was the 25th, so it meant we celebrated our monthsary in Vegas! Haha. The place is seriously sin city! There are so many hispanics giving cards depicting naked women on the streets. They pass it to every guy, even when it's obvious the guys are attached or that they have a wife and kid with them. The hotels are magnificent. All with different themes. I see a whole New York city, lions in the hotel, Greek Gods, and a hotel built like a castle. Even the staff sometimes dress according to the themes!

We watched two shows. These shows cost us abt USD$450 for two persons. I was totally burned from the amount, but thought it was a good experience. (Wenyao paid for lodging, food and fuel, and I paid for car rental and shows.) We watched a Cirque Du Soleil production call Zumanity. It was a show which celebrated sexuality and sensuality, between heterosexuals and homosexuals. We got very good seats! Which means a bountiful showcase of full breasts!!! Haha. Seriously, both of us didn't like the show very much since it focuses too much on free sex. The nudity was not that bad, it just seemed normal after a while. I think it's just the free sex which was emphasized! Got us really really uncomfortable. Since this is an in-house show of the hotel (New York- New York), it actually means this show might not be travelling around. And even if it does, would probably take more than 10 over years. But because of the nudity, I seriously doubt Singapore will allow the crew near its waters. Haha. So we thought it was a good experience!

The next show we watched was Phantom of the Opera! It was good!!!! Our seat was abit obstructed. But I couldn't afford better tickets, so we gotta make use of it. (The ticket I bought was 107 bucks, plus tax was 120 per person!! All in USD!!! The next amount was 137, plus tax would be 150+. Can't affort another 100USD!) But seriously, the price we paid for this show was definitely worth it! The quality of the shows in Vegas are simply great and extensive in terms of production I cannot imagine the shows in Singapore having the same standard. The shows are simply fascinating. Both in terms of props and set. We actually witnessed fireworks inside the theatre during Phantom. I believed my mouth was seriously agap throughout the whole 100 mins of the show! Best part of the shows in Vegas, no 20 mins break in between!

We went to Grand Canyon as well. One of the wonders of the world! The view is spectacular!!! Just standing at the edge leaves you in awe. Of cos, the fear of the danger ahead. The place was so damn hot. Actually the whole of US was hot. I am many shades darker than before. I think wenyao is worse. Although after walking around Grand Canyon for a while, you realise everything looks the same. But somehow, you'll just marvel at the creations right before your eyes! We also stopped at Hoover Dam and Lake Mead along the way. Guess the whole day trip was really fulfilling. Although we slept much of the time on the coach. But but but, we did wake up at the important hours when it comes to sightseeing. Hahaha.

Before we head back to Los Angeles on the third day, we stopped over at this Peggy Sue's Diner for dinner. This place is like a 50s diner. The town is really quiet. They even have a ghost town at the opposite street. We didn't have time to explore it though. This diner is just like the 50s. Even the waitress dress like she was from the 50s. The interior is like the 50s too. We had 50s food, which was hamburgers. Haha, I think US didn't change much in the 50 years! Burgers are here to stay! The meal looked like something from Billy Bombers!

On the last day (Friday), we went to Disneyland. It would be a place I would bring my kids when they are younger. I seemed too old for the rides, but still, that place fascinates me! It's so darling cute! Every shop is so cartoony. I took some rides, including pirates of the caribean, Haunted Mansion, etc etc. The rides are cute but super creative! Quite an eye opener really. These rides are just rides to showcase the themes, not adventure rides. They do have thrilling rides, but it's in the opposite park, need to pay another 30USD to enter. Plus I don't like thrills so it's just a total waste of money. The entrance for Disneyland is already 50USD. Everything here is seriously expensive!

Packed my bags and headed home on the Saturday afternoon on US time. The ride back was long as usual. Watched like 4 movies! Haha. Slept only for 2 hours! Bad thing about sitting in the window seat - I have to ration my drinking. Because I can't go to the toilet! The moment the women beside me stood up to the ladies, I hurried after them! Haha. Seriously, travelling on the plane alone is really really fun. These are the lists of movies I watched during the round trip plane ride.

1) She's the man (It's funny, recommended)
2) I not stupid 2 (This is a goooooood show! Laffed and cried. I think I freaked the Indian man beside me!)
3) Aquamarine (Teenage flick, watch it to waste time)
4) Half of Benchwarmers (it sucks big time!)
5) Crazy First Love (Nice romantic show!)
6) Back to school (Tao xue wei long...old school laff)
7) R.V. (Not bad, not too funny)
8) Thank you for not smoking (watched 1/4, too much talking)
9) I think there's one or two I couldn't quite remember. Haha.

My photos are uploaded too. It's right at this website. http://cards.webshots.com/invite/pickup/119562931HuMK/album/552706999MiINid

You can note down comments if you want =)

Haa, I think this trip is fun. Would wanna try doing a roadtrip with a couple of friends too. That is provided I managed to save enough again!! This trip totally burnt a big hole in my pocket. My savings are all gone! But still, it was worth it. Good experience!

Weekend

On Saturday, wy and I headed down to Desert Hills Factory Outlets. There were so many stores there, and all are supposedly factory outlets! Ran a few errands for those who asked me to buy stuffs for them. Includes fossil watches, coach bags and gucci pouches etc. Haha. Am on a tight budget here, so didn't dare spend much. But I got a great deal for an Armani Watch which I had been eyeing in Singapore. The price was abt SGD350 and I got it for USD99. Hahaha. The must buys are the fossil watches, some are like 2 for USD 39.99!!!

The location of the factory outlet was abt 90 mins drive from LA, to a place called Cabazon. The drive there was hot too! And the area was nothing but sandy dunes and hills. Nothing but yellow highlands and lowlands. And the stores are right smack in the middle of this. No wonder it's called desert hills. Because it is like a desert!

Halfway through shopping, there was a sandstorm kicking up. Everything looked blustery. Hot air was blowing all around. You can literally feel the warm wind blowing at your face non-stop. And because of the environment, I could feel sand around me. I swear I could taste them in my mouth. The scary part was when I kept hearing the people around me saying the word "typhoon". Haha. Wenyao and I got abit worried seriously. Lucky, nothing happened!

Went to Sizzler for dinner after that. The price is slightly cheaper than Singapore's (I'm not sure if they still have it there though..haha). The salad bar has more than salad, thought I saw fried foods (again!) as well. Hah, but we didn't add on the salad bar cos the mains were more than enough. The people we've met are really friendly, esp restaurants. Maybe it's cos they were working for the tips. Haha.

On Sunday, we headed for Universal Studios. This is the shortest drive ever! 20 mins only. Never been so glad. And can you imagine I'm not even driving. Haha. It's boring to sit in the car!!!

Went through some of the rides and shows. Very interesting. But I guess kids would like it better. Haha. Watched a 4D short screening of Shrek. You can feel the mucus when donkey sneezes. Gross. We also caught a live performance of Fear Factor. They had to drink a smoothie of Cockroaches, worms, pig gluts, sour milk, etc etc. It was eeky just seeing the blender blend them all together! One of the nice parts were when we took the universal tours and the special effects section. I got a glimpse of Wysteria Lane (Desperate Housewives)!!! Haha, too part it was only a small part because the whole set was closed to outsiders. I took pictures with a few characters too, with SPONGEBOB!!! Too bad Patrick wasn't there. Haha. I got a cute spongebob waterbottle. Only kids were carrying that, and the only adults carrying it were the kids' parents. Haha. Think they must be thinking I am overtly childish! But it's so cute!

After Universal Studios, we headed to take a picture of the Hollywood sign. Haha, then we got lost amongst the residential areas at the hills. The roads were so narrow, the car can barely squeeze through! We got into turns and turns and still couldn't get out! Imagine my shock when the GPS said "turn right after 2km". I went like "there's 2km of this narrow roads?!"

Went for a short walk at Hollywood after that. Loads of people basking on the streets. Took a picture with Zorro and sone evil character. Wasn't going to take pics with them. I wanted to take a pic of the whole background, which was Graumann's Chinese Theatre, when Zorro said "Ni Hao" and offered to take a pic with me. They were after tips actually. Haha. But they were a fun bunch of people!

I realised the parking in LA is super expensive. The parking at Hollywood is 10 bucks! 15 mins is 2 bucks and the max is 10. You could acutally park along the streets, but if they weren't available, then it's back to parking at 10-14 bucks per slot! Imagine paying SGD 16-22 bucks for parking in singapore!

We headed to Chop Chop, a chinese restaurant @ Westwood, near the apartment for dinner. Wenyao said the curry chicken he was eating was good. He's so easily satisfied! The curry is jap style, and there was so many clumps of undissolved curry. Haha. On the safer side, I had chicken and mushroom noodles. The soup was good, but there was something wrong with the noodles. They were way too thick and taste funny. Haha, I am so hard to pleased. One thing good, the soy milk taste exactly like Singapore! Wenyao had to gulp down everything so he could take a free refill, altough he was totally full from his rice! Haha. He took me there just so he could drink soy milk!

Now's Monday afternoon at 2pm. Wenyao and the rest are in school. Waiting for him to come back so we can head for lunch then to the beach. Should be going Venice beach, heard it's a great place!

Will be travelling to Las Vegas tomorrow for the next 3 days. Hope it will be as exciting!

Los Angeles - Yosemite

Reached LA on the afternoon of Jul 19 (Sg July 20). The plane ride was rather eventful. Was quite fearful of the 18 hrs flight alone since I'm not exactly a fan of flying. Watched a total of 3 movies, and didn't manage to sleep one bit. No thanks to the baby crying the whole nite through, and the two japanese kids kicking my seat all the way from narita airport to LAX. Gross.

Was checked thoroughly by the LAX custom officers as I was 'checking out' of the airport. Took my whole luggage for checking and asked me a whole bunch of questions. My dad had already gave me a warning before I departed. He said they might think I'm an illegal worker looking for work there. Hahaha.

Saw wenyao for the first time in 5 weeks. Felt he has aged abit. He said it was because of the weather. Haha. His face looked so worn.

Went back to the apartment. The apartment is not bad really, cept that guys don't usually keep it neat. Haha. Puzzling thing was, they did nothing but sit around their laptops the whole time, cept to eat and watch abit of tv. 5 guys in total. Imagine my surprise when I see the laptops around the round table, and each person doing their own stuff, right until their bedtime. I don't even dare to make too much noise. Hah.

Did nothing much when I got to LA. Went around west hollywood and walked abit. Had lunch at this restaurant called Mr. Noodle, serves thai food, and it's quite good. Walked around at Ralph's (supermarket), victoria secrets and urban outfitters. Didn't buy anything though. Some stuffs are freaking expensive! VS was having a sale, but felt abit weird with wy following around in a lingerie store. Hah. Urban outfitters is not cheap either. The store is so similar to forever 21. But the clothes are not bad though.

Set off for Yosemite on the morning of 20th July, at 730am It was a long ride. Poor wenyao had to drive all the way - 5 hrs of driving. The sun was so blazing, I had a sunburn just sitting in the car! Wanted to check in early at our lodging place but they mentioned the earliest was 3pm, so we headed down to Oakhurst for lunch. They actually had KFC buffet here, at USD$ 6.99, and you can eat all you want. Hah. We settled for Carl's Jr instead.

Walked around Oakhurst and headed for Yosemite Park after that. Hiked for about an hour in Mariposa and viewed the Giant Sequoia Trees. They are really really huge! Some of the tree trunks' circumference are big enough for cars to drive through! But seriously, after awhile, the trees just look similar. Opps.

Headed for Glacier Point after that. As we were nearing the area, it started to drizzle. The weather was getting really bad with dark clouds overhead. I got worried and asked wenyao to head back since it was already 3pm and we will be able to check in. He agreed and we headed back towards the direction of Narrow Gauge Inn, which was a 15 mins drive out of the park. As we were driving back, the sky started clearing, and we thought perhaps we could try out luck towards the tunnel view area, which was in the opposite direction of Glacier Point. Halfway towards tunnel view, it started pouring again. On seeing the many cars in front of us proceeding ahead, we followed suit. When we finally reached the tunnel view area, the sky was overcast, and it was raining heavily. We couldn't get out of the car for a photo shoot, because of the rain. In addition, the area was so foggy we couldn't see much either. We headed back towards the Inn, and decided to cover the rest of Yosemite the next day.

Just as we were heading back, the rain got even heavier. Soon, there were loads of crackling sounds on the window. It was then when we realise it was raining ice. The ice was quite big and they were making quite a racket. Then we realised the car wipers weren't working really well. The ice was coming down even more. The roads were just turns after turns! It was so difficult to drive in that weather. Worse was when the inside of the car shield got misty and wenyao couldn't see a thing. I had to wipe the wind shield so he could focus. It was quite scary. haha. Then we switched on the air-condition to full blast so the water wouldn't condense on the inside. It worked. But by then I was shivering so much I couldn't stop. Hah. It was exciting to be caught in the hailstorm though. As we travelled lower, the rain stopped, and we could see abit of snow at the sides of the road. A teeny weeny bit only. But it looked beautiful.

The Inn where we were staying was fantastic! The room was rustic and comfy. Very country feeling. The people were very friendly too. It just seemed like a tiny cottage place. It is really recommended. One thing bad was the price was abit too steep. Perhaps it's because we were there during the peak period. Took a glimpse at the receipt and realised wy paid $170+ on one nite stay. (Everything quoted here is in USD!) I was kinda shocked but at the same time thankful cos he really thought it was money well spent.

We had dinner at the restaurant at the Inn, price is not good either. But there was nowhere else to eat, since the weather was bad, and the drive down Oakhurst will take another 30 mins with no lights at nite. It was fine dining, but we just ate like normal while the other visitors ate like fine-dining practices. Haha. Typical us. We were the only ones in slippers too!

Headed out to Yosemite Park early next morning, after the complimentary breakfast at the Inn. The weather was amazingly good. Thank God for that, if not it would be a totally wasted trip for me. (This is the second visit for wenyao already.) First stop was Washburn Point. We didn't plan on stopping there, as we were heading for Glacier Point instead. But the view was so amazing we had to stop. Then we headed down to Glacier Point. The view was spectacular. I could see one-quart of the whole yosemite (the guide said that!). Saw Half dome, north dome, yosemite falls etc. It's amazing how the rocks were form over the years to become such a sight. (Shall post pics soon!)

Next we headed to the tunnel view area again, and we could see El Capitian from there. Wenyao said this was from a huge rock, but I wasn't quite sure, since all looked like one huge rock to me! Haha. Then we headed down to the valley, and stopped along the way for pictures. Went pass the camping sites at Curry Village. There were visitors cycling around. It's just like a chalet in the woods. So many people there. All with their own foods and tents. We took a turn and and wanted to head back to LA. Passed by this place called Yosemite Fall. Wenyao was asking if I wanted to take a walk, which I refused cos I thought it was a long hike to the area. (I am totally lazy during this trip!) Then I saw the falls from the car and immediately called for wenyao to take a walk. If I had missed it I think I would totally regret it! (But how to regret if I dunno about it in the first place? Hahaha). Anyways, this walk down to Yosemite Falls was truly the one moment that made the whole trip to Yosemite fulfilling. Since I had done so many sightseeing, which after awhile they all looked the same. And all see no touch makes Zee really bored. Haha.

Yosemite Falls is the tallest waterfall in the whole of US, and the 5th tallest in the world. I walked to the lower part of the fall. The higher part takes 6-8 hours of hike! Could see the whole waterfall from the bottom. The water just drop down from the top, and the view was spectacular against the blue sky. I even waddled down the water. So many kids there and I'm the only adult! Haha. Wenyao was wearing shoes so he didn't go down into the water until I pestered him for it. It was so nice of him since he was afraid the water will spoil the camera. Haha. So he thought he'll stay on dry land. So thankful I was wearing crocs. The sandals are practically made-ready for yosemite!! I wore them into the stream! Didn't have to take them out at all! It was good for hikes too, since it was non-slip! Hah!

After Yosemite we headed back, and had lunch at Fresno, Tulare. Realised the whole area was inhabited by hispanics! Hah, feel abit weird also. The fast food restaurant (we had Jack in the Box) had quite abit of flies. Being the eccentric me, I couldn't really concentrate on the food. Anyways was quite sick of eating fast food, everyone here eat fried stuff!!! Gross. I will be so fat when I come back!

Slept so much for the whole journey back and I felt so bad since I wasn't driving at all. And wenyao had to drive so much! Love him for that! I did catch some view on the way back. The sun was super hot, I got burned on the way back again. Pui! Saw many ranches and they reminded me of where Clark from Smallville lived! Haha.

Back in LA at about 8pm. So tired. The guys went to Las Vegas for one nite and wenyao and I are doing laundry and watching tv. It feels weird to see him busying around the house. He does the laundry and washing for them!!! Like a house husband. Haha. Maybe he's more ready than I am.

Anxiety

Have you ever had the feeling when anxiety hits you and you found yourself unable to breathe?

I get that at times, only thing is my mind starts thinking haywire thoughts, I get tensed and I find myself gasping for air. Sometimes it's accompanied by the pukish feeling, a regurgitation of whatever you just ate. Or perhaps it's not physical damage.

Perhaps it's mental, perhaps it's just the cause of bad experiences.

Gross.

Geek attack

Went to this shop @ Raffles Place which was like a factory outlet store. Loads of brands there and at very affordable prices.

Was trying out the Ed Hardy Trucker Caps when the sales guy commented I should buy the pink one (which I did..haha). He said it looks more my style, clubbing and sort. My colleague went like "she's not a clubber". Haa, and I gave him an innocent smile.

And exclaimed, my greatest hobby is actually reading. Hahaha.

Aftermath: Was so happy that I bought the cap back, and saw one of the colleagues on the way. She asked why I was so happy and I said cos I bought that. She had a look at it, and had a grave expression on her face. She decided not to wreck my enthusiasm but I persisted. And she said these caps were all over the Taiwan Street Market. Burnt!

And btw I think she didn't know the brand well also. Not to blame....haha. I shall wear it's authenticity out! It's the man that maketh the cap!

Double standard

Theresa (my colleague) and I went for lunch @ far east. We missed the chicken rice so much! We made a trip downtown cos she apparently had to collect her MTM for her eyes. (She's totally obsessed about her eyes. Mine seriously look worse than hers! Right possum?) Forgot to mention MTM is freaking expensive. Goodness.

Anyways, went around and window shopped abit. Saw this shop which had loads of nice vintage dresses and pants. We got into the shop and there were 3 ang mos inside. Young twenty plus ang mos, getting excited over the dresses in the shop. Undressing brazenly just to try out the stuffs. The salesgirl was basically making herself available around them, introducing this and that, while they were trying at the 2 miserable fitting rooms.

While Theresa was trying on a dress, I saw one hanging on the wall. Queried the salesgirl if there were any sizes for that. She gave me a look and told me the price was 139 or 179 bucks. She was giving me that look which says, "if you are interested to buy it then I will show it to you". I felt offended since I hadn't asked for the price in the first place. But isn't it bad enough how she can judge if I was going to buy just by looking at my face or the attire I am wearing (I am not lok kok, probably just plain and not stylo enough)! I would be laughing my head off if the ang mos bought nothing in the end!


I saw a top in the end (and I checked the price this time) and asked if I could try it on. Immediately she motioned me to a mirror (at the shop entrance!) and said I would have to try it with my shirt on, cos they (the ang mos) are using the dressing rooms. At that moment, I felt abit wierd when she made that comment, because I will wait, and there were 2 dressing rooms. And one is free at the moment. It was when I realised she had volunteered the rooms just for their highnesses. (I have nothing against them, seriously.) And please imagine trying at the door, how pathetic does that look?!

Goodness, I cannot understand if that is the way you should be treating your fellow comrades. I've constantly been commenting how locals are being treated as second class citizens the moment they are compared next to someone from the west, and in our own country. It's like you are being discriminated in your own motherland! Totally absurd, but evident in our everyday lives.

I do understand the notion of having to be polite to tourist and guests so as to make them feel welcome, but please, the people who will be constantly buying from you will be the locals. So please be nice!

We walked for a few shops and realised we got almost the same sub-standard service from everywhere. Maybe it's just far east, but seriously even if I had the budget, I'm not going to buy a 200 bucks dress from you and getting a way below tolerable service attitude!

Got so pek cek after the whole thing. Wished I told her off right in front of everyone. Perhaps that would get the fume off my chest.

I hate being disciminated. Gross.

Perpetual Excitement

I've been so excited this whole week planning the LA trip. Every message from wy on msn is discussing where we should go and what we could do when I reach on 19 July. There are of cos the down parts during discussion when we (only me actually,) realise the tight budget we are facing. The cash that I am bringing over is a miserable sum. But we have gotta try to make full use of the time there. Which means less shopping, but perhaps more feasting for the eyes!

Just confirmed the hotels which we will be staying at Las Vegas and Yosemite. Las Vegas would be Treasure Island (the one featured in Miss Congeniality!!! - www.treasureisland.com), and yosemite would be an inn called Narrow Gauge Inn (www.narrowgaugeinn.com)

As mentioned, the super down part of the trip is the money outs. The car rental is gonna cost us a bomb! Especially since we are under 25, and the rates would be upped 25 bucks (USD!!!)per day. I am also quite apprehensive about the road trip since it's the first time I'm travelling alone (on air) and driving around in a totally new area! The stories of murders and robberies along highways are really scary!

This is the tentative itinery we came out:

19 Jul - Reach LA
20 Jul - Yosemite
21 Jul - Yosemite
22 Jul - Anaheim
23 Jul - Disney
24 Jul - ?
25 Jul - Las Vegas
26 Jul - Las Vegas
27 Jul - Las Vegas
28 Jul - LA
29 Jul - Head home

As you can see the time is pretty limited. I'm only staying 2 nites in Las Vegas, which is very very short (according to my colleagues). A colleague of mine stayed for a week and said there was so much she didn't see! Another attraction I really want to see is the shows at Las Vegas! The shows are super ex! We will be catching Phantom of the Opera (I insisted) and one of the production by Cirque Du Soleil. On average, they cost about 100 each (USD again). Freak, never watched a production more than 100 sing, and here we are paying 160 sing per show. And it's the cheapest! *Pui*

The budget is scary (all in USD):
Narrow Gauge Inn - $160 + $40 (entrance)
Treasure Island - $215
GPS - $260
Petrol - $300
Food - $500
Shows - $400
Car Rental - $500
Total - $2375 (S$3800)

And the fees does not include any amount spent in LA. *Pui*

Alright, 21 more days to my trip! Counting down everyday! Haha, or maybe I just can't wait to stop working. Hohoho.

Kids!

Went to my granny house today. Was goofing around and playing with baby Kai-ian (17 months) when suddenly I caught a glimpse of his big brother, Keanne (5 yrs), poking his head out of the toilet door. Immediately, I yelled over and asked what he was doing with that sneaky look in his eyes. Kai-ian had a habit of playing with the water in the toilet bowl so I thought it could have been a family habit. (He thinks it's a play pool!)

He gave me a look and rolled his eyes (yes, he rolled eyes) and told me he wasn't up to anything funny but had just shitted. Then I gave him a look that says "huh?". He confirmed my horror by saying he needs someone to wipe his butt.

The maid was busy with something so I shouted for my mom for help. Then she said just wipe. I walked into the toilet with his tiny shorts and undies sprawled all over the toilet. Stared at him hoping for some advice. And he responded just like the Uncle in him. (His nickname is Uncle...)

He said, " Just wipe my butt.." I was horrified. I finally did the grotesque swipe on his small behind. He stared at me still. I thought we were done. Then he said," my mummy washes my butt". I felt horrified. He actually came down from the toilet seat and pointed out the hose for me.

So I asked him, " How does your mummy wash? Does she wash like this?" ( I was doing the action of rubbing my hands on the backside) And he nodded his head. After the hideous encounter, he came down from the seat and said now's the time to wash his hands (and mine too!).

After that, he commented in an uncle-ly manner. "You know my mummy only splashes my backside with water when she washes, you're different".

Gross.

Chocolates

They make you sad and happy all at the same time.

It's an oxymoronic treat.

The chocs are almost finishing.

=(

Daily rantings

I believed if someone were to ask me what is the most sia suay thing I ever did, I would have problems remembering. Such things happen to me almost everyday, and they have become such a commonality, I would feel wierd if I didn't get them.

Take for example, I slipped on my way to work near Amoy. You those those slips where you get caught offguard momentarily, just in time to catch hold of your footing in that split second. You'll feel funny about it because right at that moment, if you facial expression was in slowmo, it will look disgustingly hilarious. I laffed at myself after that.

Oh, and I choked on fish bone yesterday.

Plus, my granny thought I had a bald patch on my head when it was the blond area of my hair. I am officially a redhead now.

Bad thing that happened, I am going to shift my desk to the top floor, and that means no more possums having fun in the office. That is really sian. Theresa is someone I look forward to spending time in the office. So much fun. =( I sound like a les!

Bummer.

The Essence of Life

My dad was admitted to the hospital a few days ago. It was good that he's in, at least the doc had a chance to observe and find out the reason his body seems to be malfunctioning lately.

He had been having severe headaches, with the tendency of heartburn. He said he can't sleep without sleeping pills, and lying down often leaves him breathless. Often enough, he actually felt he was losing it. We were worried of cos, but his stubborn nature didn't allow us to coax him into the clinic. Finally, he gave in when he realised he could not sleep without the help of pills. Call me sadistic, but to me, his admittion was good news.

My dad got admitted about the same time as my colleague's mom. Contradictingly, both have very different outcome. My dad is OK, perhaps the condition was due to stress over work, or maybe his spinal problem. The news my friend got was much much worse. Two days ago, she mentioned they found a lump in the mum's intestine, and that needs an op to remove it. Today, the doc said it is cancer and it has spread to the lungs and liver. To me it was a shock. An illness can be inside for so long and the person is ignorant about it. The mum doesn't know she has cancer, cos the children knew she cannot cope with reality. She has only 6 months to live, and with chemo, max 2 years. If she doesn't react to chemo, it's back to 6.

I ran a google on her condition, and this is what it says. Stage 4 colon cancer will usually be treated with chemotherapy to shrink the tumor, lengthen life, and improve the quality of life. Sounds politically correct, but you realise it is an optimistic way to say that death is the only route to go.

I feel super sad when I heard the news. Came to the office after a day out with wenyao and saw her eyes red. Think floodgates opened when I fingered an OK sign to her for response. I wasn't feeling especially great today since wenyao will be leaving the next day. Then I came to office and heard the news. Imagine this person who is struggling is my dad. I seriously dunno what to do.

During lunch with wenyao, he was telling me his take on life. He said life is something to be grasp but something not to be held on too dearly. You treasure life so you try out new stuffs, take the road less travelled, challenge yourself continuously, learning new things. If you treasure life by protecting it all the time, avoiding new experiences because you are afraid to lose your life, you are wasting it.

It came to a point when I realise people don't treasure life until someone tells you how much time you have left. I'm not saying my friend's mum doesn't treasure hers. I'm just saying if someone tells me I have 1 more year to live, I'll probably try my best to do more in that 1 year than what I tried in my previous 23 years.

I'm not sure what I want to get out of this. It's just that sometimes I tried protecting myself too much I am wasting my life. The thought that the time I wasted could be somebody's extra time irks me. I feel suddenly life is so short. I perhaps used up 1/3 of my life now. But it's because of the thinking that I'll probably die at age 75, which leaves me complacent about the time I have. I guess it's not so for others.

39 days later

Woah..haven't been blogging for 39 days. But I guess nothing much happened within this period. Job's the same, person getting abit wacko (my colleagues can vouch that), daily momentum getting abit slower, working hours abit later. Haha. And the thing I noticed, blogs are updated monthly. Less people are blogging recently, is it age related? Or stress related? Or simply can't be bothered. But seriously, why do people blog? esp when it's the few miserable bones reading it. Hah.

Yeah, typing an entry to make sure I still keep my a monthly habit (at least)!

Well, job's still the same. Bleah.

Sun(less)day

Had a stupid argument with my family just, 3 against 1 and I got so worked up I cried throughout. Hate to ram my thoughts recently but sometimes just feel very unfair the way my thoughts are being asserted against.

It's just thoughts. We were watching the news when we saw ppl protesting along indonesian streets. My dad commented it's May Day and Indonesia is protesting while Singapore is celebrating. The great irony occurs because of our good government.

Just for a fact I need to shout out. I am appreciative of what the government has done here and I am in fact feeling very fortunate to be born here and not any place else. But I guess it all happened when I started commenting that majority of the ppl in the world are afraid of change and hence most will probably go with the current system.

My mom started saying that may not be so since she heard there's alot of taxi drivers going towards the opposite direction. Then I started saying it might not be so bad to have an opposition. Challenge brings about improvement. That's when all the mouths around me started cracking up.

By the assertive nature of my very persistent dad, I started getting comments that I am unappreciative of my upbringing, youngsters like me think only about challenging the norm, then saying that the other parties don't have the trust of others because of their inexperience blahblahblah. All things juz came bombarding my direction which I felt was pretty much nonsensical because that was not where I am getting at. I don't believe I need anyone to counter my thoughts since I wasn't aggressively throwing them at anyone, let alone anyone accepting my idea.

The blow came when he started targetting me as an individual, which I found it totally abhorent, since he was doing that to me all my life. My brother started saying how good the government is and how everything is good bcos of them. I seriously don't find it credible since it came out of the mouth who had practically everything he wanted, and has not earned his own living as a human being. What right does he have to talk about the good in govt when he's at nature so extreme in his thinking in racial issues. Fuck.

There were so many things going on, and before we know it, we were practically screaming our lungs at our political stand. Perhaps only they but not me. I was juz raising my views and I got loads of shit.

Then my dad started saying what's so nice about going overseas because you become a second class citizen. I thought it might be bcos he heard me saying about a master's course in melbourne uni. That's when I told him he made a good example of someone who doesn't like change, and just so you know, the ppl protesting on the streets, their lives may be affected and hence they are protesting. Sometimes the route to be "normal" like us isn't accessible to ppl like them. So give a thought before you give overgeneralizations on others' ppl lives you may not have been "fortunate" enough to experience.

He started saying I was unppreciative enough all over again. Get this, I am appreciative of my citizenship here! What I feel is that I become a scaredy cat on the day when I was born. Everything is perfect here, everything goes well. I remembered myself eating beef during the mad cow disease epidemic like nobody's business cos at that time I truly was confident of the govt's actions in qc-ing the beef that comes across. Hah! That's my trust. But at the same time, this trust is turning into dependence, when you have no chance to truly experience something bad that comes along. Hence,change may not be that bad really. I gain something, I lose something. It all depends on the priority of that characteristic you lose.

This might not sound convincing to you, but this is not my assertion on you. You don't have to accept it. You like it, you read it, you don't like, so be it. So I hate ppl when they try to tell me what is good and bad, what is good you tell me? How will you know? And what makes you think I am totally wrong when there's no right answer to this. The key here lies in majority. Sanity is not statistical. For all I know, thin is not beautiful in the beginning years.

I just hate it when my family brings their thoughts on me. It's like I don't even have a say in my own views. Come on, the govt gives me voting rights, so please give me a chance to even have a breather. I have no chance of choosing my education without getting side eyes from them. What is wrong? Choosing a different education is a way to bring my life down to the dumps? Is that it? The sad thing is I am beginning to think like them and perhaps that is why I am choosing to stop hindering in anything I see, that, including my life. See the first thing that I start voicing out, I get burnt like mad.

You might think my life is good. But what is my priority? Is that what I want? You can give a hungry begger loads of clothes when the first thing that he need is the next meal. I can try my best to get my commission in, but at the cost of my time, and loss of satisfaction from the job, or my life when you start to wonder if this is how all will end eventually. This is sick.

I know what I want, I have the options going, but I just don't have the courage to take a step in, because like everyone else, my life is contented, why take a chance when things could get worse and I get nowhere. That is my point, but not what I'll eventually choose. And that was what I was saying all along.

I totally hate them. Serious.

5 years since

5 years since the day you passed. It's amazing how time flies! I'm 23 and you would be 13, the start of adolescence. Something I would have looked forward to experiencing, since you were a child with such unique qualities.

Nothing's changed from my side I guess, sort of stopped at the start of the 5 years when you went away.

We miss you and we love you so. Till we meet again. Btw, your little brother very nottie, and wierdly he looks so much like you! How can 2 peas from a pod be so different! Hah.

=)

The Moon and the Yew Tree - Sylvia Plath

This is the light of the mind, cold and planetary
The trees of the mind are black. The light is blue.
The grasses unload their griefs on my feet as if I were God
Prickling my ankles and murmuring of their humility
Fumy, spiritous mists inhabit this place.
Separated from my house by a row of headstones.
I simply cannot see where there is to get to.

The moon is no door. It is a face in its own right,
White as a knuckle and terribly upset.
It drags the sea after it like a dark crime; it is quiet
With the O-gape of complete despair. I live here.
Twice on Sunday, the bells startle the sky --
Eight great tongues affirming the Resurrection
At the end, they soberly bong out their names.

The yew tree points up, it has a Gothic shape.
The eyes lift after it and find the moon.
The moon is my mother. She is not sweet like Mary.
Her blue garments unloose small bats and owls.
How I would like to believe in tenderness -
The face of the effigy, gentled by candles,
Bending, on me in particular, its mild eyes.

I have fallen a long way. Clouds are flowering
Blue and mystical over the face of the stars
Inside the church, the saints will all be blue,
Floating on their delicate feet over the cold pews,
Their hands and faces stiff with holiness.
The moon sees nothing of this. She is bald and wild.
And the message of the yew tree is blackness - blackness and silence.

Cry me a river - Julie London

Now you say you are lonely
You cry the whole night thorough
Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you

Now you say you are sorry
For bein so untrue
Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you

You drove me, nearly drove me out of my head
While you never shed a tear
Remember, I remember all that you said
Told me love was too plebeian
Told me you were through with me and

Now you say you love me
Well, just to prove you do
Come on and cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you

23 Years Ripe!

Thanks to everyone who have remembered this special day! All the sms etc. I really appreciate all the SMSes! It's great to know friends who remembered this day.
Special thanks to...

Jiajun and Alice: Thanks for the nice Saturday meal and chats and chicken wings (blurb) and cake! I know both of you were extremely bz and tired and I totally appreciate it!

Eileen, Peifang and Sihui: Thanks for the sumptious Thai food dinner and catching up! We must take cab back together after every outing! So fun!

Irene, Stephanie and Theresa: Thanks for the super duper chocolatey cake and steak! Plus all the funny gay talks!

Cuiling: Thanks for the Jacket and the cake! That was a great lunch and I hope you are feeling better!

Theresa (again): Thanks for the funky passport holder (I shall use it on my first trip this year!) and thanks for the ktv session plus the peach and strawberry cake (again!) =)

daddy, mummy, and BROTHER (OMG): Thanks for the spa session and the Ang Pows! First time I'm receiving money from my brother!

Buddy Kelvin: I know you are getting something! Thanks in advance. HAHAHA.

Brandon: Thanks for the treat tomorrow!

Jeanette: Thanks for having time to meet up next week! I haven't seen u in ages!

Yuqing (Wenyao's sis): Thanks for the delicious venezia gelato!

Wenyao: Thanks for everything. (Too many to list!) I enjoyed every moment! I LOVE U!

10 KM

I ran my first 10 km today! The day before I am officially 23 years ripe!!!

I didn't ran for the whole 10km though. haha. I ran 6 km, then I walked 1.5km, then I ran 2 km and waked the last 500m. I never felt so shagged before. I know I am weak! But it's an accomplishment! And I estimated I could finish in 75 min and I did! Yeah! I shall aim to finish in 70 mins with pure running. HOHOHO.

After the run, I got so happy I ate so many things! Defeat the purpose of losing weight. HAHAHA. I am waiting for wenyao to fetch me to eat bakerzin!!! Creme Brulee..here I come!

=( / =D

Paranoia

I am seriously getting paranoid and I guess I have every reason to be. Gross.

Went for a pig out session with DX on saturday. Ended up floating in and out of consciousness for part of the time. Got so freaked out that when I went home I just had the fear of going to sleep. It's that feeling when you close your eyes and darkness seems to engulf you. It is scary.

Having problems sleeping lately. Trying to get rid of the fear of darkness. It is like slowly setting in, especially after the Saturday incident, when you stood up, and the next thing you're doing is you're falling.

Gross. I need a medical checkup. =(

Why did Sam pick up the fish?!

So who's that anonymous? Why the fish and not the money?!

**Too sick to think**

Sick!

I think I have been sick since last week and somehow it's getting worse. I feel groggy and woozy all the time, especially after doping the medicine in my mouth. Gross.

And I still need to work tomorrow!!! I think if God gives me a choice to have kids or work, I think I will choose the former. HAHAHAHA. At least I get to push all the excuses of being fat to pregnancy! Haha. Slack!

Time for a nose cleanup again! **mucus flowing**Ewww*

Boring saturdays

Working life really means no life at all. I have been stuck at home for almost all saturdays since the start of 2006. Talk about pathetic. There's basically nowhere to go, or rather no one to go with. Attached ones are busy going out with their boyfriends and it makes me wonder where the hell mine is. Singles are so happy going out and none seem to be free when I start to ask them out.

This is getting exasperating. Is it just me or is that the same with everyone else? I hate it when my mom keeps coming to ask me every saturday what am I planning to do the whole day. It just gives me this image. I'm like 30 and unmarried, and still living with my parents, and there my mom just keeps asking what will I be doing on Saturdays. Gross.

Took MC on Thursday and got wenyao to go with me for dinner at West Mall. And he suddenly commented that we haven't been to west mall in a long time. There I was thinking, truth is, we haven't been meeting much, cept for the half hour when you drove me home. Then even if we did go out, it's either his place, my place, jurong point or lot 1. Shit. How bad can that get? I always want to walk around the mall after a meal, not because I have alot of things to shop for. I can almost recognize every range of these clothes I see at the local boutiques! I just need something more.

Don't mind me. I am complaining my life, not wenyao. Not his fault that things cannot be anymore happening. I'm just kinda stuck at this point where there is nothing but work, and I dunno what else to turn to. I don't believe he has time for me as well. Gross. This is seriously not getting anywhere.

Bored with a Capital B

I feel so bored. This is a friday and I am online thinking of nice things for Brandon and his other half to do. I shall write all the ideas down. In case somebody or anyone catches any hints! *I feel so sad that I seriously gotta resort to this. What to do...I am the innovative half! **roar***

1) Flowers - They can be plucked anywhere (if you are cheapo) or bought from the market at 80 cents per stalk (for the less cheapo), or from any nice flower boutiques you can find almost anywhere with your eyes closed.

2) Inline skating - Exercise while holding hands, lovely! (My blades haven't been used since I bought them, rusty soon!**hint hint**)

3) Bake together. Decorate cookies with your love messages. If you find it too troublesome, go the hassle-free method and get those eediot-proof all in one mix.

4) Take up knitting. Knit a scarf for each other than plan a trip to somewhere cold in December, just to wear each other's scarves.

5) Take up a foreign language and converse in that language. Takes the relationship to a whole new 'foreign' level.

6)Take up dancing classes. Laugh out loud while you watch your other half not able to groove to the music *evil laugh*

7) Catch a play together. Time for a cultural emergent program.

8) Go to a cafe and have a scrabble tournament. Bring a dictionary along, so your partner will not cheat!

9) Sit opposite each other and share lame jokes, one person at a time, until both run out of breath laughing.

10) List out all the food you crave, and go on a food hunt, island wide! Make sure the list is 5 dishes long, so the game can last longer. Just walk from one destination to another if you feel you need the exercise!

11) Checked the itineries for a movie theater, and catch movies back to back. At least 3 movies. Best to do it on a weekday, cheaper!

12) Sit and read book together while lying on each other. Cozy!

13) Play tennis **hint hint**

14) Write cards for each other. Simple and affordable. Only takes about less than 5 min to write a simple 'I love u' msg.

15) Take pics with your digicam in the most hilarious and stupendous poses. Make a large frame from all the pictures and hang on your wall.

16) Keep a 'both' diary. Both are able to write and comment, keeps thoughts communicated. (Haha, our diary is still with me, haven't been updating in months)

17) Organize a special crusine day and cook the dishes of that crusine together.

18) Watch DVDs back to back until both are foaming at the mouth.

19) Pillow fight! Charge whatever grievances you have about each other in the name of pillow fight. Kiss and make up after that. =)

20) KTV! Lalalala...

21) Help each other to colour or cut hair!!! Fun!!!!

22) Play archery and try to outdo each other

23) Go prawn fishing!

24) Compose a song together, then you can have your own song! N play that during your wedding. Oh lala.

25) Go marina eat steamboat and fly kite.

26) Go for nite suppers from time to time. Stay over at each other's place after that and marvel at each other's belly. The one whose tummy is bigger get to sleep earlier. Hahaha.

27) Wear each other's clothes to sleep. **I am not saying undies you pervert!** Or exchange sleepwear so you can still smell his/her scent even when you are not on the same bed!

28) Do some online shopping and have the parcel delivered to his/her house!

29) Take up oil painting (or just any painting) and start painting each other's portraits.

30) Go for weekly running and start to motivate one another when the going gets tough. The best reward at the end of the run? Two slimmer bodies and a pair of fantabulous looking couple!

Ok, here's 30 things after juicing my brain out! Brandon, it's enough to last you half a year! Until then, I shall think of other stuffs after you finished every bit of it. Hai.. maybe I can adopt some of them myself hor??? *hint hint clue clue**

My hair!

Not sure when I started the hair frenzy. I remembered always paying loads just to spice up my hair. Yeah, literally spicing up. The texture is almost damaged. Haha.

Used to think ppl who colour their hair are ppl who follow the crowd, not having a mindset of their own. Guess what, I followed the crowd, but my mindset had a different view. A more colourful and bold way of expressing myself.

Initally the colouring was not that bad. Was a redhead in AJC, first three months. Became totally black for the 2 years in SAJC. After that, it was brown, just different shades. Common colour amongst girls my age.

The boldest probably came when I was in sports club. It was red, then it was pink, then it was red, then it was partial blond. I became ladybug, mushroom head, buttercup, then finally Zee. I guess Zee may perhaps be a noun for someone who needs excitment all the time. Hah. That's me. Change, to me, is the only constant.

Went and got a hair cut on Wednesday. Really a hair cut. Sometimes ppl see me and say I waste money cutting hair, cos the trimmings is not obvious at all! This time my hair is short, but not as short. I look guai actually, cept for the haircolour. Right now I have another nick. My mom calls the hairdo feather duster. I called it a lion's mane. My dad calls it, "so colourful". I seriously don't like it. The red-orange streaks is just not me. What the hell was the guy thinking? Orange?!!! It doesn't go with pink, red, blue or green! At least red or pink looks funkier! Hai.

Wenyao took me to ntu to make up for the numbers for the Shiseido talk. Reminds me of Sports camp! I felt so wierd the moment I walked into NTU's SRC. I look like a total wierdo. Everyone there has black hair! Worse is three girls (I presume year 1s) in their TaeKwonDo suit looking like I was someone who just came from Mars. You shouldn't seen their eyes. SO BIG!

Maybe it's a different culture. Told wenyao I must have looked pretty bimbotic when I walked into the seminar room where the talk was held. A nearly blond (and orange streaks) girl, holding a pink sweater. How bimbo can that get? Hai. Sure as hell, he agreed. Laughed out so loud when I started painting him the picture. Gross.

I feel so old when I walked into NTU. The girls with their eyes SO BIG looked so much younger. Like little girls..I am so old already. Hair still so havoc. Come to think of it, I probably have another nick. Lao Auntie.

HAHAHA.

Gimmicks

Got so pissed off today I seriuosly thought I was going to blow my top.

My face was looking so tired recently, so I thought maybe a facial and eye treatment would help.

Called up this salon near my place and enquired about the price for a normal facial. She started telling me about the promotions they are having, which was $28.80 for first time facial, which includes facial, eye treatment and neck treatment. Thinking I may not be there for the first time cos I couldn't be sure if I did facial there before, I told her what is the usual price for that. She said they have a promotion now which was $68 for eye treatment, neck treatment and facial if it's not the first time. Thinking I might not be doing eye treatment since I have a budget problem here, and my priority was only going to get rid of the black pores that have mysteriously predated my face, I asked for the usual price for a normal facial. She said $42. I remember the prices so clearly because I was repeating the prices to my friend who was sitting next to me while we were having breakfast. I thought it would be fun to try out together.

I set the appointment at 1pm, ready to try out the $68 package. Got there and she started asking which treatments I was interested and started telling me the package prices. Note it's long term packages, 10 times, and I don't foresee I have the committment to start one now. So I told her I was interested in the $68 she mentioned and she started introducing me to the $680 ($68x10) package. I told her I would try once and she mentioned something about why not I buy the package and I can take that as one time from the package. Told her I was not interested at that point of time, and I was ushered to the treatment room. At that time, I was assuming I was getting an eye treatment, neck treatment and facial treatment.

She asked me to put on the towel and lay on the bed. I did what was told. Before she started applying the cream on me, she started asking me to take the $680 package again. I told her I'll only try once, and mentioned that I wanted to trim my eyebrows too. She said it was included in the package and I was amused if I got it wrong. Then she started saying since I was not taking the package, the $68 only entitles me to an eyebrow trim and a facial, plus a shoulder massage or something like that. I remembered going for facials and that shoulder massage was part of the process. I was baffled and fuming mad. I felt cheated to that place.

That was part 2 of the gimmick cos I initially had the intention of paying $68 for the promotion she was talking about over the phone. I remembered asking her if she was the one whom I was speaking to over the phone and she said yes. It was ultimately misleading and immoral in my context.

I didn't enjoy any bit of the process at all, all the time fuming mad, while she started on her service. She was being really nice and attentive to my needs, but the gimmick that I got from her previously got me boiling mad.

I was desperate to leave the salon because I seriously felt they could not be trusted. After the facial, she ushered me to a seat, assumingly to try and psycho me into a package again. I was right, but this time was 5 times, so $320 (5x$68). I said I was not interested and another woman started approaching me, coaxing me into buying that. I seriously felt cornered at the moment. Worst is I hate hard sales, and they made it bad enough from the gimmick.

I gave her 70 bucks and told her to keep the change. I saw her rummaging through the drawers for a $2 change and thought she didn't hear what I said. I was desperate to leave the place and just told her to keep the change and I took off. I shall never step into the place again. It was not the first time I got this kind of shit anyway. I went for a manicure and pedicure recently, thinking it was a promotion, because another lady told me to try it. Before the process was finished, she told me the promotion's over and I gotta pay the full price. I was told I could get the promotion if I paid $399 ($39.90x10). I thought I made a mistake so I didn't make any further comments. But this time I wasn't sure.

Of cos I had a fault, not that I am not ashamed to mention it. I was looking for budget facials, and guess what? Cheapos certainly don't deserve the best! I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry over it. Damn!

Zee's Nohari Window

Try this too!

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Zhengyi

Be crude and honest!

Zee's Johari Window

Try this!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Zhengyi
Be honest ok!

Valentine's 2006

I had loads of fun today! But I realised I didn't take any pictures at all. Haha.

Woke up this morning and trugged my skates to my granny house. Decided to take her shopping for once. Went to The Soup Restaurant at Jurong Point. After which we shopped at the value store. Everything was almost $1.05. Only some were slightly more expensive, capping at $4.05. I knew she bought close to 200 bucks when she was at this 2 buck jap store at IMM. This time she picked loads too. We had 4 basketful of stuffs. It was fun seeing her shopping around. Even better when you see her happy look! I felt I really made someone's day! Then I took her to NTUC where she bought heavier stuffs. Big cans of cooking oil and cartons of drinks! Thank God that the maid and wenyao was there to help. I have my hands full just pushing her around in the wheelchair.

Before we left for home, she asked me what is the name of the place that I just took her. I said it was Jurong Point. I felt so glad when I saw the slight smile on her face, trying to put into memory where she had been and what she had done today. I shall take her shopping a few times per month. Since I work late, I can spare my mornings. Just as long as I see the smile always on her face. It has been quite hard ever since my granddad's death. Can tell she misses him badly.

Saw her home and wenyao and I went to Queensway to buy my track shoes. It was my valentine's day gift. Very girlish colour, a bit not used to it. But the point here is it's comfortable! Wenyao said if I spoil the shoes before I finish training for the standard chartered 10km run, he will get me the nike zoom 360. Hah! I like that pair, cost a freaking 250, assumingly because of the comfort, and I seriously think it's over-exaggerated!

We headed down to East Coast to skate with our new blades. I got a pair for each of us. Although I got them at 1-for-1, I seriously feel I overspent. This shall be my extravagant indulgence for this year! Haha. I shall concentrate on running and skating! (I seriously hope! Motivate me PEOPLE!)

We had dinner at Jumbo! The food was 'oh-so-good'! Wenyao was saying it would cost us a bomb, but we were kinda shock at the price really. It was (happily)underestimated. They had a Valentine's day set costing $118+++, and I thought ours was so much cheaper and sumptous! We had Chili Crabs, Drunken Prawns, Garlic KaiLan, Seafood Soup with salted Veg and Beancurd, 4 Man Tous and Seafood Fried Rice. All was good, especially the Drunken Prawns! We finished every last bit of it!

We took a walk along the beach and gazed at stars (the cheapo romantic method) before heading home.

Haha..this was really a super fun day. I guess I felt I accomplished a lot today just by taking my granny out. It's really nice seeing her so happy. And also the fun goofy stuffs me and wy did while eating with our hands full of crap (crab). It sure beats eating out at fancy restaurants. I told him we'll do the same thing every Valentine's and he said I'll probably get bored with the idea. But then again, at least I had fun this year!

Thanks Wenyao! Happy Valentine's everyone!

Sad Sad Life.

Started to think about my life. Realised I have been procrastinating long enough. I guess the truth has been staring at me all the time, it's just that I've never want to think about it, because once you start, the floodgates open. Yeah they do.

I want to study fashion merchandising. I don't care if I'm gonna earn as much as I do now. I don't even know if I'm gonna be good and excel at it. But it just feels like I'm never gonna get started. Worse is the thought that going towards that goal will get me out of the hell hole I'm in.

It's not like I don't like my job. The flexibility is something everyone wish for, when you can virtually come and go as you wish, just as long as you get work done. But I just don't want to get stuck there forever.

I want to get married early. Even if I saved enough for school, I'm never gonna save enough for marriage. Why do I feel that burden just increases with age? I'll like to start a family early. You might think it's wishful thinking in a society like this. I didn't think so but I am beginning to think that way.

It's not that I don't have faith in wenyao. I don't have faith in myself to make my life possible the way I want it. It's just not going to work. The way I see it, I'm not going to get any other education, and I am definitely going to marry late. Maybe 30. You might think that is the average age. But I don't want to slog my way through work just to see my son go to university at 55, or carry my first grandkid at 65, only to see him barely finishing primary school.

Just don't feel 23 is young. I have a colleague who's a year older spending money like water on anti-aging products. I get scared when ppl say I look older. I hate it. It's not that I hate to see myself age, but I just hate to see myself aged when I got nothing accomplished.

Someone msged me asking why the sad nick I put on MSN. He said I never had any sad nicks before. I told him Paper faces on parade is one. Everyone is wearing masks. I find myself doing that all the time. Just to get out of whatever misery I felt. There is something bothering me. Probably the fact that my parents are not with the decision of supporting my studies and they gladly gave the support to my brother. Perhaps they thought it was the best. Perhaps perhaps. I seriously want to support myself, but I find it really hard. Gross.

Tomorrow will be the same. All over again. Maybe it might not be. Just shut out the things that are happening and think of each day as it goes. Put on the masks and parade like the world never grows old. And sooner or later, the paper faces will crack. Maybe it is already cracking. I seriously dunno. But I seriously wish to take away the chore of putting on masks all the time. It makes you forget the pureness of life. I hate it.

My home is a Kingdom

I have a King in the house. Basically he sleeps until he feels awake. He has food specially prepared at his command. And he likes to yell as he commands. Best of all, this King has 3 servants who serve him.

My mom is the chief cook, or rather the chief administrator. She's in charge of the King's residence. Maybe she's like a butler cos she's the one who opens the door too. Then my dad is the Chief of National Treasury. He provides the money for day to day running of the Kingdom, and at times, extra cash for the King, (at his command), and for the butler to manage her chores. The Chief makes sure the Kingdom has enough amount to survive, but alas! This chore is very much challenged by the honorable highness, who sadly, does not have the knowledge to manage the Kingdom, much less himself.

We have the civilian here, paying taxes every month, and getting no benefits from the Kingdom. She can only type her grievances in her online blog where the National Treasury forked out to pay for the internet connection, a form of public property. (The King cannot live without Internet Access. It is included in the annual budget.) She is obliged to help and serve the kingdom in any way she can, lest she kenna the wrath of the abominable King, or the controlling administrators of the Kingdom.

Tsk, tsk. It's tough being a commoner.

Work is paying off!

I have been chasing this fund manager for almost 4 months and finally his assistant replied me with the information of all the funds. And altogether 12 funds (and I assumed there was only 4)!!! Hahaha. Never felt so satisfied at work, since this is truly my effort. Hohoho.

I m so proud of myself I finished a whole packet of vegetarian bee hoon. Hahaha.

Phony Photo Booth

http://www.youtube.com/w/Jay-Leno-Phony-Photo-Booth?v=vEWLwz6JRNE&search=Leno

Memoirs of a geisha

1) Watch this if you are interested to know what goes on in the movie

http://www.youtube.com/w/Memoirs-of-a-Geisha-English-Trailer?v=KEXvz0N9sQY&search=memoirs%20of%20a%20geisha%20mad%20version

2) Watch this after you watch (1)

http://www.youtube.com/w/Memoirs-of-a-Geisha--Mad-TV?v=_AQvqsZFgDY&search=memoirs%20of%20a%20geisha%20mad%20version

* Takes a long time to load, but be patient, it's worth it. Hahaha.*

Grossed out day

Damn day. First the rain spoilt everything (again).
Then some wussy said he doesn't like me cos I control my bf too much. Come on, you don't even know me. Go get a bf to control. Quit hanging on mine. And btw, I had your mind games. You sound just like a big bf stealer who's using underhand means. Get a life! And pls don't do that to other ppl's bf! Ass hole.
Third, came back home to my dad staring at me like I did something bad. What the hell. Said I didn't call home the whole day, and when I said I did, he said I called home for wad. Last straw came when he told me he's splitting 50-50 with me for the new furniture he bought. What a way to start a home-coming conversation. Hello? If I am paying, kindly consult. And damn. I don't even have a bonus, ask me where to fork out that kind of money? I'm barely spending anything this month and quit, quit asking me for money when the amount barely means anything to you! I get so sensitive when people ask me for money. Why go 'hoo haa' over an increment when the money is barely enough? Why do I feel my life is made miserable by others? Damn.

Year 2006

I'm back at the office. So bored. There are no leads...which means no money. Damn. Hai..shall post my agenda for 2006. Think will put them at the left hand side of the blog sometimes later..so I can see and accomplish them. Hah.

Goals for 2006

1) Lose 5 KG and maintain! (Not really possible..but well..whole world going skinny so I must pretend I'm trying to do that. Hah!)
2) Be more confident & spontaneous
3) Strike 100 funds per month (at least 5 per day) (Juding from last week..abit not possible..sonz)
4) Workout at least 2 times per week
5) Complete Baptism
6) Visit one nice country with wenyao, tentatively Japan =)
7) Save 300 per month (pte account)
8) Spend 50 per week (meals)
9) Spend 40 per week (transport)
10) Be a nice person! (Gossip less, more understanding, more christlike etc etc)
11) Join standard chartered 10 KM run! Hahaha.
12) Start something (ZEP – Zee Entrepreneurship Program)
13) Learn French
14) Start fashion education

WishList 2006

1) Inline Skates
2) Bowler Bag for Gym
3) Tiffany Bean Necklace
4) PDA
5) Upgrade PC
6) Buy a nice designer bag
7) Ultimate Fricking Expensive Fruit Juicer (for mum)
8) New watch (Armani, Diesel, Adidas)
9) Shoe Rack
10) New jeans
11) A top from Gstar
12) Win a lucky draw prize from Uncle’s annual company dinner! (This year I must win something!)
13) Funky specs (Polo Ralph)
14) Funky shades
15) Etc etc (haven't thought of them which I think by a few more weeks this list will increase...)

Rain

It has been raining non stop recently. Got the mood really low. I have to skip tennis because of that.

Damn. And i keep eating non stop. I'm feeling so bored and well..bored. Arggh.

This is the Age - Virginia Brasier

This is the age
Of the half-read page
And the quick hash
And the mad dash
The bright night
With nerves tight
The plane hop
With the brief stop
The lamp tan
In a short span
The Big Shot
In a big spot
And the brain strain
And the heart pain
And the catnap
Till the spring snaps
And the fun's done!

New Year New Skin

Well well. How's the skin? Thought it was magnifico! White and classy. What a way to bring in a new year. The new skin may in fact refer to mine. A new Zee perhaps. Hah. Classy and fair? Super unlikely. Hah! Something good I hope though.

Made my resolutions for this year like a week ago. Haven post them up. Shall use that as my guidelines for this year. Something to look forward to hopefully.

Starting work in PM tomorrow. Good or bad hard to say. Well..who knows?

Oh ya..thanks to the magnificent one who created this skin. Absolutely fantabulous! See the credits section. Searched so long for a perfect skin and I think I found one. Not just a perfect skin but a perfect skin provider. Haha. Check out her pics! super chio! (JX: if u r reading this i'm sure u'll like them)

Alritey. Have a great new year! (To myself..haha)