a piss-ful entry

disclaimer: this blog entry is targeted to piss those who are reading...so read if u can take the caustic substance typed.

i have been bumming around and i totally hate that feeling. what's worse is the questions of asking 'hey have u found a job?' try asking that to a person who have heard it umpteen times (e.g. zee) u are most likely to hear a 'no' with a #$%^&%^&* going inside her head which u are unlikely to hear or know...but most likely remembered!

i feel pinched whenever ppl ask me why am i bumming around...i feel jabbed whenever ppl tell me to try harder...i feel murderous when ppl say i think too highly of myself. in refute of all these..they are all wrong! so nonid to ask me anymore.

next! got a fren asked others to pass around this message...recommend a potential prudential advisor to go for a 2 day training and get 50 bucks recommendation fee. good money right? yes yes...but very unethical! got calls from ppl all asking me to be advisor...i'm not a selling thing material...tried and tested so dun even try that stinch on me. if u ever u r not a fren(does not include the one who pass to me..)! frens of mine shd noe how against i am with this line...the unethical way of telling u to come down for interview saying they are offering non sales job which in fact, they are headhunting for advisors is enough to piss me off, what is worse is the substitution of terms like business marketing exec and business financial exec to
mist the true nature of the job scope!!! grrr..

don't u noe that financial advisors work on networking. imagine someone like me with limited network...who will i approach? u u u!!! and whom am i likely to be rejected? u u u!!! so i am helping u by not going to work as that...tell me...r u close to anyone who's a financial advisor or MLM marketer? u get me in u get 50 bucks...but is that 50 bucks worth the pestering u get from me to buy insurance or the rejection that my sorely heart will get from ya?

i m having a bad time bumming around so don't think i am enjoying every moment of the slacking. it's not like i have money falling from my ceiling assumed by some. so please do not profile me like what u r doing. it hurts inside..but sadly the insensitive nature of some is unable to tell.

so if u see me on the streets, please do not judge me by my presence in orchard road by bumming...unemployed does not mean no life...i still have a life and i want a life. so please do not judge me on that once again...thanks fren! and if i reject going out with u...i m juz trying to minimised the suffering my heart has to take for the past few weeks. contact makes the heart ache longer! pardon me if i rescheduled lunch/dinner with u...does not mean i hate u or i m boiling mad....but it may juz mean i like to be alone, i've grown used to talking to the wall, or maybe u have a job and i dun want to feel left out talking to u.

aniwaez..as mentioned this msg is to piss ppl off..but they are not targeted at any one in particular, juz a general view. so if u think u know anyone who's above-mentioned, pls keep your mouth shut...cos it does not refer to that particular person who is appearing in ur mind.

alrite..this entry is written at the very bad period of my life. so please do not profile me according to that! this is juz a cry of outburst due to the insensitivities faced by my broken heart, which has now cease to feel anything, judging from the bluntness that others have felt from me. i am sorry but pls understand.

lastly, thank you for those who have finally endured this caustic and snappy entry. don't worry u r still a fren, although i may be holding grudge over what u said to me recently. u noe who u r... (hahaha..gotcha! juz kidding!)

i m tired and ugly and fat and that's what making this worse. alrite thanks for the time and goodbye (for a long long time till i find a job will i see u again!)

home

been 2 weeks since i last come back to hall...was feeling nostalgic as my dad drove me back juz now. initially hated to come back cos i had to start packing to shift out of RVR...but after hearing this song by Beatles on the radio...i yearned to be back asap...lie on my bed...absorbing the last few moments of being in hall alone.

have been in this room for almost a year...it's a place where i seek refuge. when i try to run away from the problems of the world..i come back and lie beneath the bed covers. sad to say..soon this room will belong to another and i will no longer have any place to dwell in once refugee times begin.

i slept here, cried here, played here and grew up here. the past year has been a rapid progression of growing up. the moment i walked in, there the radio clock which i set to auto mode was playing. the feeling of coming back home feel superb.

on the way back the radio was playing 'hey jude' by Beatles. haha.. funny to say...i told myself the moment i came back i shall put all the Beatles mp3 i have to play...used to do that whenever i was stealing a nap. Beatles is sure one thing i learnt to like in NUS, right after taking the film and history module...haha...it sure changed abit of my life =)

hai...kinda feel sad i'm gonna leave here...holds so much memories...want to pack them all and shift it back home...but memories are fleeting...and that's wad scares me the most.

guess i'm still juz not ready to let go some things.

a happening month

realised i haven't posted for a month! a month! can u imagine that. been to two countries in this month. thailand and china. shopped like mad. look at the extra baggages i got back. room's very unpacked and my new shopping items are all around!

went to bangkok with jean, bran, cece, ken, cher and qijia. first time moving around a country free and ez. it was really exciting. but sad to say the culture shock i got was pretty unpleasant. walked like hell for the four days there, shopping and eating and looking around...haha

went to beijing 5 days later with jj and hui and my family...seriously i think we didn't walked as much as i did when i was in Bangkok. yes..there were culture shocks but I guess the experiences i had in bangkok pretty much prepared me for this trip. the bargaining was superb. i can bargain from 540 rmb to 160 bucks...can u imagine. a top for 200 to 30 rmb....haha..so u can imagine how many things i got from there...best of all...i realised it was totally sponsored! ha ha

climbed the great wall...one of the best events of the trip...realli satisfying when u reach the top of the wall overlooking the rest who are still struggling up (hahaha) so evil...but most really climbed halfway and stopped. me jj hui and my dad climbed all the way...and we all became hao han! haha.

went to the forbidden city and many other touristy places. really amazed by the chinese culture...it's really nice to know what kind of culture your ancestors come from you know...was taking this flight home when this china old man asked me wad dialect ( min nan) i was...took a long time to understand what he was trying to ask...then the worse came when he asked which part of fu jian was my ancestors from..boy was i ashamed. =(

the food there is dirt cheap! and i mean dirt cheap! had this korean buffet with a spread of dishes. the servings was so large the three of us cannot finish it. we were guessing how much our lunch will cost (we guessed 200 rmb = 40 s$) until the person came and said 78. we were like huh! in the end we paid s$5 per person!!!! we actually stared at the waiter before we gave him the money. hahaha

we had an 8 day trip, with 5 days tour and the remaining 3 days free and ez. the free and ez was fun too! i think i became addicted to bargaining after some time...hahaha.

hard to believe the month passed so fast. i'm graduated and had two trips and now looking for jobs! oh man. haha..hopefully the replies come fast though =)