driving...ooh la la...driving ooh la la...driving ooh la la!

i became an ah sam today..
reached my room at about seven plus...started cleaning up..
cleaned my tables, my shelves, stacked books together, got rid of unwanted things...
wash my clothes, wash my bedsheets..
think my mom would be really glad if i actually did all these at home..
hahaha..

well well..
the good news is...
i'll be having my first practical driving on thurs!!!!!!
ooh la la!!!!
so excited!!!! feel like doing the roundabout dance...u noe the one that u clapse ur hands together in a ring then start dancing by circling ur butt?? *jj think u noe wad it is...we did that when we won the table soccer game* hahaha

so excited...my day's pretty planned i think. not that bad for a start..
today: nua abit here n there...read all the driving books
tomorrow: go for driving theory practice...read tha practical book...start xmas preparation
thurs: go for driving practical...then theory evaluation...then meet jj n sihui to sing sing sing..lalala
fri: meet jj to attend the contact lens solution workshop training...go for jean's bday party..

hmm...wad bout sat?? anyone wanna jio me??
hahaha..

so excited about the driving.. *dancing*

hmm...or lalala..

exam completed today..
went for lunch with sze, yun, cui and alice..
it looks like a normal day.

went bbdc..they told me the book still not out yet..
efficiency not that high huh?
wasted trip going down.

ate don pie today..
was going to fly kite with wy...
in the end we made so much changes..
haa...we went ktv instead!
two person singing...kinda farnie.

did a horrible thing today..
we were suppose to take a train back to clementi kbox
we didn't realise we took the wrong one..the north line.
a lady was asking if this line was the right one to go bishan...and we were so blur we actually said NO. she had taken the wrong train and has already missed the interchange stop. it was until wy heard the word somerset then we realise we are the ones who were mistaken. let's hope she's not lost...feel quite bad lei..

so it was ktv at somerset instead clementi...
we went this open hawker stalls beside somerset mrt for dinner..
it was horrible!!!!
the stuffs were so expensive!
imagine the min price is 5 bucks and they tasted alright only..
so silly... total exploitation..
but it was quite bad that wy paid for it..
hahaha

alritey that's my day..
wierd day though...a little lost..haha
suddenly too much time to do everything
dunno which one to start first..
well...anomie again

True

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I don't look
But deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm

I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
I'ts time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

Dolphins are man's best friend too.

came across this article in straitstimes...very interesting..

Dolphins shield swimmers from shark in NZ
WELLINGTON - A pod of dolphins saved a group of swimmers from a predatory three-metre great white shark off the northern New Zealand coast, a newspaper reported on Tuesday.
The unusual incident occurred on Oct 30 when lifeguard Rob Howes took his 15-year-old daughter Niccy and two of her friends swimming near the town of Whangarei, The Northern Advocate said.
The dolphins, 'started to herd us up, they pushed all four of us together by doing tight circles around us', Mr Howes told the newspaper. When he tried to break away from the protective group, two of the bigger dolphins herded him back, he said.
He then spotted what he described as a three-metre great white shark cruising towards them, but the man-eater was apparently repelled by the ring of dolphins and swam away.
'It was only about two metres away from me, the water was crystal clear and it was as clear as the nose on my face,' he said.
Mr Howes realised what the dolphins were doing: 'They had corralled us up to protect us.'
Another lifeguard, Mr Matt Fleet, on patrol in a lifeboat, saw the dolphins circling the swimmers and slapping their tails on the water to keep them in place. He told the newspaper he also had a clear sighting of the shark.
'Some of the people later on the beach tried to tell me it was just another dolphin but I knew what I saw,' he said.
Ms Ingrid Visser, who has been studying marine mammals for 14 years, told the newspaper that there have been reports from around the world of dolphins protecting swimmers. She said that in this case the dolphins probably sensed the humans were in danger and took action to protect them. -- AP

psychology

having my second paper in like 90 mins time...went through one set of exam paper..
it is definitely enough to make you conclude that the text that you have been studying bounds up to nothing. NOTHING!

it's so damn difficult...wonder what am i studying for??? shall apply some of my knowledge...
the government in singapore hopes education would allow her ppl to learn....that, i would assume a learning goal....they failed to realise because the system is based on achievement...it becomes a performance goal...in the end thru moderation...we learn nothing!!!!

conclusion: university is a total waste of money! arggh! waste of resources (papers that are graded zero!) arggh...this is totally insane..
my mind is so saturated and the horrible thing is...saturation point is still not enough to get correct answers!! argh.

aniwaez as u can see...i'm perfectly fine ppl...except for the horrors associated with exams...and only exams!!!! i have absolutely NO TIME for PARANOIA and DEPRESSION! arggh...failing failing...i am typing incohesively...a very vital trait of schizophrenia...disorganized schizophrenia...one thing i learn in psy too...any other stuff?? hmm...major depressive disorder...hmm...we are now undergoing seasonal affective disorder....to assimilate my schema...would be to say that this season = exams season...gross...so many psy terms...i m really going bonkers!

absolute threshold: the minimun effort needed to feel a stimuli = one past year paper 90 mins b4 the exam is sufficient a stimuli to make u feel worthless.

arggh!

god help me.

That's all

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own,
For you and you alone.
That's all,That's all.

I can only give you country walks in springtime,
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall,
And a love whose burning light,
Will warm the winter night.
That's all,That's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore.
That's all,That's all.

a scripture a day to guide your way =)

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never wil I leave you; never will I forsake you."
So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
-Hebrews 13: 5-6

Though all around is darkness,
Earthly joys have flown;
My Savior whispers His promise
Never to leave me alone.

::No matter where you go, God goes with you::

Exams stress

what will exams stress do to ppl??
hmm...in wierd way i'm not getting that stress yet...but i guess many are..
oh no!!! is this ooz of nonchalance also a symptom of exam stress? a desire to cast off everything and just do what i have to do instead of doing it efficiently to achieve what i ought to? confused? yeah...me too..

went to study room early this morn...whole place was 'oh so man' crowded. it was like onli ten o clock. guess wad...saw yun's friend and she offered me a seat...and she was there since 7!!! gross...

there i was trying to concentrate after lunch...until i saw an amazing sight! i've heard about ppl being very 'lak seh' during exams times...but seriously...i didn't quite expect THIS beyond the usual wake up attire, meshed up hairstyles and sleeping face marks! this girl was right in front of me.....digging her nose. yeah...laying tracks on the mrt!! rolling the dirt n flicking it away!!! seriously i would have made sure my window blind was down b4 i did that in my room...haa.. i guess she juz tot no one was looking...looking studious doesn't imply real studying...alrite...i'm talking abt me..

next! peeping tom!!! gross...can u imagine that? one got caught in okr and the next starts its prowl at EA. he was seen looking really stressed up! oh man...looking at boobs make u less stress?? hmm...maybe more blood flows south n the brain gets less activity therefore less stress levels??? hmm...somebody please test the hypothesis!!! gross..would have totally freaked out if it was me!!! i would be rather conscious seriously...wad if he sees and turns away? dat would be so sad! haa

guess wad? i think the exams stress is too great? two silly animals actually locked themselves IN. locked IN. very oxymoronic right? apparently, the two RAs above me actually jammed the latch right in! now that's some news to cause a hoo ha...RAs destroying school property! way to go man! wad a good way to rebel OSA!! haha...u guys are better than eunice!!!!! =P

alritey...so wad's with the exam stress?? i'm still feeling nothing. gross.. but i think my appetite is starting to increase and my legs can't seem to start the running pace...which is the reason y i'm sitting more than usual. but wait...isn't tat because i studied too much?? haa..good n bad in both sense ya? hai...i think this sem is gonna flung man...

Damned!

What should I do? How Should I react? Do I have to keep smiling? Or show the anger that manifests? Do I know how to love? Should I continue? Do I know what I want? Do I know what anybody wants? What is wrong? Everything is wrong? Am I making myself crazy? Am i stupid or what? Am I silly? So many facts. So many things done. How can this kinda thing happen? Can I be forgiving enough? Will we be the same? Will it happen again? Can i die?

Please stop!

stop everything!!! just stop everything!
i don't wanna go out. i don't wanna talk.
stop asking me to eat. stop asking me out. stop making me tok. stop touching me. stop saying hi. stop buying me food. stop buying me things. stop giving me money. stop smiling at me. stop trying. stop trying to do everything. i don't want anything. let me be alone! i want to be alone! i want to stay alone! i just want to be in my room. don't do anything. please stop. just stop. don't hug me. don't hold me. don't ask me anything. don't contact me. stop having to do anything with me. i just want everything to stop. everybody please stop. i want to be alone. stop obliging. stop agreeing. stop everything. stop trying to smile when u don't want to. stop lying. stop behaving like a clown. i feel like the clown. stop all the stupid lies. stop the care. stop the concern. i hate it.
pretend i don't exist. pretend i'm not around. pretend there's no such person. pretend i'm non-existent. pretend i don't stay in sch. pretend i'm uncontactable. pretend i'm dead.
i want to sleep. i miss sleeping. why can't i sleep? i want the thoughts to stop. i want everything to stop. i want to rest. i'm very tired. i don't want to smile. i don't want to act like a clown. i don't want to be a burden. i don't want to laugh. i don't want to cry. i don't want to frown. i just want to be alone. please please leave me alone. everyone. no-one. anybody.

Disappointments!

Gross....one resident sent me a mail titled disappointment!
can u imagine that? I should be the one to tell them that.

What good are reminder notices and emails when ppl simply don't heed them? What good are well-educated varsity students who don't even spare a thought for others around them? Seriously what have we achieved from education except probably an increase in knowledge?? What about an upgrade in morals? I think this is the failure of education. Oh man... Study until so smart for wad? Heart still as black.

Imagine residents who simply refuse to use the filter when they wash the dishes. Imagine the clogs every once in a few days. Imagine residents who used the filter but refuse to empty it. Imagine residents who leave unwash dishes in the cupboards. Imagine residents who uses other ppl's stuffs without asking. Imagine residents who spills foodstuffs in the pantry and refuse to clean them up. What is this place?? A hotel or a hostel?? U think there are cleaners here round the clock?? U think Auntie Anna and Uncle Simon are responsible to clean the shit after u??? Oh man...u think u pay enough for them to do such shitty work???

Why can't ppl juz spare a thought for one another? Why can't ppl juz live life normal? Why can't ppl juz treat hostel as ur own home?? Do u mess up your home lidat? Gross. Humans are really selfish. Whatever happen to the fairy tale world we were brought up to believe in? Evil ppl gets their just desserts, but it doesn't happen in the real world! I hate this man.

Sometimes i really wish ppl would live in harmony. That would mean no wars right? Isn't that great? But simple things like this cannot be achieve how could one think of greater aims? Gross.
Where have our basic human nature gone to? What about consideration for others? Love your neighbour as yourself? Isn't that one of the commandments?

Sometimes I wish the residents could juz read this. Let them know how much inconveniences they are causing. Nothing can be done if they do not at least be considerate. How can I make them understand that? Seriously I'm not sure the answer myself.

I know who holds tomorrow =)

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
And I don't borrow from the sunshine
'Cause the skies might turn to grey.

And I don't worry about the future,
'Cause I know what Jesus said,
And today I'm gonna walk right beside him
'Cause he's the one who knows what is ahead.

There are things about tomorrow
That I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

And each step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb.
And every burden is getting lighter
And all the clouds, their silver line.

And, I'll bet the sun it's always shining
And no tears will ever dim the eye
And the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains, they touch the sky.

yesterday once more

When I was young I'd listen to the radio
Waiting for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile

Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well

Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-wo-wo
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they started to sing
So fine

When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more

Looking back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed

It was songs of love that
I would sing to then
And I'd memorize each word
Those old melodies S
till sound so good to me
As they melt the years away

will i sing this again? i don't think so.

pause

life went on a standstill two days after my last entry.
i don't update my blog anymore.
i write in my book, my beetlebug book.
many secrets that i write....things some may know...some others may not know.
which i intend to keep a secret.

my life has changed...haa..whether i like it anot.
but yeah..thanks to those friends who have been around...i feel really blessed
really...such a blessing hard to come.
you know who u r ppl =)

i dunno wad's gonna come...m i gonna be happy or sad? or rather none at all..
but i take this as a time to find myself back..
it'll be hard...but i can manage =)
**remember my essay??? haha...alot of determination right??
yesyes...i'm alone but yeah i can manage...so please don't worry!!!!!
i feel bad if u ppl worry!!!!! arggh...i don't like to make ppl worry one =)
i'm not stopping sisters...the title of the blog is pause...i'm juz pausing..haa

there are many things which i really wanna say...but i really dunno how to tell u..
i'm not sure if u are reading this..but yeah...god will guide...for the better =)