Arguments

I hate arguments. Realised there's alot of things which i hate recently. I hate to argue my way through trying to justify why i am broke. Cos I know many wont understand. I'm not sure the reason why I am broke. But I do know how much I spent to make myself broke. Gross. So when friends keep asking me why I am broke I feel fustrated. Cos there's no reason to be, because I cannot find the things which caused me to be broke. Then friends assume I spent too much, which I find it wierd because I seriously dunno where my money went to. That is exasperating but I seriously do not blame them. So not to worry. So sorry both of you have to fight over it. I'm sorry.

My dad assumed I sm not humble enough when he was guiding me as I drove. Almost got into an accident today, which totally freaked me out. He kept nagging non stop and I couldn't concentrate at all, and I started yelling back. Then he got angry and both of us were yelling in the car. I'm starting to get a phobia of driving. It ends up in arguments and my hands growing damn cold. Worse, with him assuming that I'm not listening and learning everytime I asked him to shut up his damn mouth.

I know he was trying to teach me. But I can't learn everything all at once when I'm looking at the road and listening. He started arguing that I shouldn't switch on the car radio in the beginning. I was baffled. The radio was suppose to calm me down.

I stopped arguing. Got tired. Because at the end of it he was still assuming that I wasn't listening and I was not humble enough, when during the whole trip I was trying to take in everything I have learnt. I totally gave up. Couldn't stop crying while driving and he just kept talking about how weak I was. Did I ever mention playing tennis with him was always a full 2 hours of scolding? How I didn't play well, why my shots were so bad etc etc. It is tough being the daughter of a perfectionist dad. Did he ever knew I was trying my best to be his perfect daughter? Nothing is impossible is his motto.

My mom asked me not to drive anymore. No point arguing everytime I drive. My dad doesn't believe in phobia, but I have a phobia of driving, because it leads to unhappy moments. and I hate it. This is the worst argument we ever had. He refused to listen to what I said and just kept assuming what he was thinking. Arguing never works. It merely tires ppl out.

I am so tired. So many relationships. I think it's tough to have so many relationships. You gotta keep caring about others and it's tiring. I know that thinking is selfish, but who the hell cared about you when you are trying to explain yourself? Everyone just keep assuming. I may be guilty of that at times too, I don't deny. It's a human tragedy.