The simplicity of satisfaction

Had a dream about grandma the other day, realised I haven't been visiting her in a long while. Somehow felt that dream was an omen after a discussion with Wenyao, and thought it was time I spend sometime with her, something I used to do when I was younger. She is the one who basically brought me up. In fact, she's like a real mother to me.

Called her and offered to buy her lunch, and she said she wanted Nasi Lemak. Went to a nearby place where it sells good Nasi Lemak only to find that it was sold out. Headed out to another market and found a stall selling Nasi Lemak. Was a little apprehensive because it was in chinese style, because she loved the small fried fish of the local cuisine and they don't sell it.

Still, bought a packet and headed down to her place. Somehow realized she has aged a lot. She's close to 90, and just passed her 87th birthday (if I remember correctly). She didn't talk as much as we used to, and I realised she had difficulty eating the fried foods that came with the Nasi Lemak. Felt a little guilty for not paying attention to her needs. It has been a year since I really spent quality time with her. Somehow my fear of separation made relationship with her an avoidance. I really loved her and that was why I was afraid to be near her.

My grandma ate the rice bit by bit. Amazingly, she finished the whole packet of rice. She commented the rice was really good and actually finished it up. Even the maid says she usually never eat much rice. I felt really satisfied she enjoyed her lunch. I guess it's the thinking where a small action like this could make her feel joyful about a normal lunch. The memory of her eating that meal was etched in my mind. I felt contented just looking at her enjoying a simple meal.

I guess it's the simplicity of life where the joy begins.