What started out as an innocent comment turned into an angry march to bed (for the hubby) and a 7 week old not-so-newborn babe having to boob suck to a soured-faced mum.
"You're the luckiest woman." The simple comment sounded innocent enough, could even be hailed as a loving comment from a husband to a wife, except that it was said when the baby was crying for milk, and the dried laundry was piling up waiting to be folded, and the wife exclaimed that the hubby could actually see the piled up laundry and have his leisure time on his mobile device and do nothing about it.
Then why didn't the wife keep the dried laundry? She quit her job to be a SAHM and so the job is logically hers to do, don't you think? Or perhaps we should say she has been busy with the newborn since 530am, and has been working around the house (and the older boy since he came home from school), such that she has YET to (at 2300h) get around the tasks of clearing the dried laundry when HER not so newborn started crying for a wrinkly boob to suck again.
It's HER newborn because once a wife is tagged as a SAHM, any work that has got to do with the home and kids are 100% her responsibilities. Once she gets help from the hubby, it declares her inefficiency and incompetence as a SAHM, and she's really lucky that other people are helping her with the job. The employed one who works 8hrs non-stop don't even get the privilege.
Why does being a SAHM make the shared parenting responsibility seemed to be just her role now? She's working full time too, except that her full time is not limited to the 8 hours like her employed other half. Her full time is a thankless 24-hour job. Strangely enough, being employed provides the excuse of coming home to rest when the work day ends. For the SAHM, her job is never finished after the 8 hours. She has the expectation to take on both loads of parenting after the 8-hour shift just because she sacrificed her full time career to provide for the family.
Suppose the circumstances changed, and both parents are now employed. With this arrangement, it makes more sense that parenting chores are equally shared when they get home so both have enough rest. Is the work outside any more tiring than a SAHM who spent the same 8 hours taking care of a child, cleaning the household, running errands, cooking for the family? She basically took on the 2 full time role of a housekeeper and a Carer at a childcare centre, to say the least. So why should the responsibilities not be shared once the other parent get home after his first shift? Perhaps the Wonder Woman as her role implied needs no rest, or perhaps her new employer (the employed one) expects a super human to emerge with a new role called SAHM.
No wonder SAHM are the most unappreciated workers. I wonder how I can ever be considered luckiest to be this unappreciated. I'm not even harping on a meek thank you. A lack of thank you would have been better than a caustic thankless comment like the above. I must be having my resting time now to be able to write this post you say. Yes and no, I multitask my resting time while soothing the not-so-newborn on my chest to dreamland, with one hand typing a sarcastic entry on my blog. All these done with my almost non-existent sleeping hours (note: 2 feeds in the night), and knowing that I have to wake up before 6am to repeat the restless cycle again. Very lucky I say.
Sent from my iPad
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