disclaimer: this blog entry is targeted to piss those who are reading...so read if u can take the caustic substance typed.
i have been bumming around and i totally hate that feeling. what's worse is the questions of asking 'hey have u found a job?' try asking that to a person who have heard it umpteen times (e.g. zee) u are most likely to hear a 'no' with a #$%^&%^&* going inside her head which u are unlikely to hear or know...but most likely remembered!
i feel pinched whenever ppl ask me why am i bumming around...i feel jabbed whenever ppl tell me to try harder...i feel murderous when ppl say i think too highly of myself. in refute of all these..they are all wrong! so nonid to ask me anymore.
next! got a fren asked others to pass around this message...recommend a potential prudential advisor to go for a 2 day training and get 50 bucks recommendation fee. good money right? yes yes...but very unethical! got calls from ppl all asking me to be advisor...i'm not a selling thing material...tried and tested so dun even try that stinch on me. if u ever u r not a fren(does not include the one who pass to me..)! frens of mine shd noe how against i am with this line...the unethical way of telling u to come down for interview saying they are offering non sales job which in fact, they are headhunting for advisors is enough to piss me off, what is worse is the substitution of terms like business marketing exec and business financial exec to
mist the true nature of the job scope!!! grrr..
don't u noe that financial advisors work on networking. imagine someone like me with limited network...who will i approach? u u u!!! and whom am i likely to be rejected? u u u!!! so i am helping u by not going to work as that...tell me...r u close to anyone who's a financial advisor or MLM marketer? u get me in u get 50 bucks...but is that 50 bucks worth the pestering u get from me to buy insurance or the rejection that my sorely heart will get from ya?
i m having a bad time bumming around so don't think i am enjoying every moment of the slacking. it's not like i have money falling from my ceiling assumed by some. so please do not profile me like what u r doing. it hurts inside..but sadly the insensitive nature of some is unable to tell.
so if u see me on the streets, please do not judge me by my presence in orchard road by bumming...unemployed does not mean no life...i still have a life and i want a life. so please do not judge me on that once again...thanks fren! and if i reject going out with u...i m juz trying to minimised the suffering my heart has to take for the past few weeks. contact makes the heart ache longer! pardon me if i rescheduled lunch/dinner with u...does not mean i hate u or i m boiling mad....but it may juz mean i like to be alone, i've grown used to talking to the wall, or maybe u have a job and i dun want to feel left out talking to u.
aniwaez..as mentioned this msg is to piss ppl off..but they are not targeted at any one in particular, juz a general view. so if u think u know anyone who's above-mentioned, pls keep your mouth shut...cos it does not refer to that particular person who is appearing in ur mind.
alrite..this entry is written at the very bad period of my life. so please do not profile me according to that! this is juz a cry of outburst due to the insensitivities faced by my broken heart, which has now cease to feel anything, judging from the bluntness that others have felt from me. i am sorry but pls understand.
lastly, thank you for those who have finally endured this caustic and snappy entry. don't worry u r still a fren, although i may be holding grudge over what u said to me recently. u noe who u r... (hahaha..gotcha! juz kidding!)
i m tired and ugly and fat and that's what making this worse. alrite thanks for the time and goodbye (for a long long time till i find a job will i see u again!)
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
home
been 2 weeks since i last come back to hall...was feeling nostalgic as my dad drove me back juz now. initially hated to come back cos i had to start packing to shift out of RVR...but after hearing this song by Beatles on the radio...i yearned to be back asap...lie on my bed...absorbing the last few moments of being in hall alone.
have been in this room for almost a year...it's a place where i seek refuge. when i try to run away from the problems of the world..i come back and lie beneath the bed covers. sad to say..soon this room will belong to another and i will no longer have any place to dwell in once refugee times begin.
i slept here, cried here, played here and grew up here. the past year has been a rapid progression of growing up. the moment i walked in, there the radio clock which i set to auto mode was playing. the feeling of coming back home feel superb.
on the way back the radio was playing 'hey jude' by Beatles. haha.. funny to say...i told myself the moment i came back i shall put all the Beatles mp3 i have to play...used to do that whenever i was stealing a nap. Beatles is sure one thing i learnt to like in NUS, right after taking the film and history module...haha...it sure changed abit of my life =)
hai...kinda feel sad i'm gonna leave here...holds so much memories...want to pack them all and shift it back home...but memories are fleeting...and that's wad scares me the most.
guess i'm still juz not ready to let go some things.
have been in this room for almost a year...it's a place where i seek refuge. when i try to run away from the problems of the world..i come back and lie beneath the bed covers. sad to say..soon this room will belong to another and i will no longer have any place to dwell in once refugee times begin.
i slept here, cried here, played here and grew up here. the past year has been a rapid progression of growing up. the moment i walked in, there the radio clock which i set to auto mode was playing. the feeling of coming back home feel superb.
on the way back the radio was playing 'hey jude' by Beatles. haha.. funny to say...i told myself the moment i came back i shall put all the Beatles mp3 i have to play...used to do that whenever i was stealing a nap. Beatles is sure one thing i learnt to like in NUS, right after taking the film and history module...haha...it sure changed abit of my life =)
hai...kinda feel sad i'm gonna leave here...holds so much memories...want to pack them all and shift it back home...but memories are fleeting...and that's wad scares me the most.
guess i'm still juz not ready to let go some things.
Monday, May 23, 2005
a happening month
realised i haven't posted for a month! a month! can u imagine that. been to two countries in this month. thailand and china. shopped like mad. look at the extra baggages i got back. room's very unpacked and my new shopping items are all around!
went to bangkok with jean, bran, cece, ken, cher and qijia. first time moving around a country free and ez. it was really exciting. but sad to say the culture shock i got was pretty unpleasant. walked like hell for the four days there, shopping and eating and looking around...haha
went to beijing 5 days later with jj and hui and my family...seriously i think we didn't walked as much as i did when i was in Bangkok. yes..there were culture shocks but I guess the experiences i had in bangkok pretty much prepared me for this trip. the bargaining was superb. i can bargain from 540 rmb to 160 bucks...can u imagine. a top for 200 to 30 rmb....haha..so u can imagine how many things i got from there...best of all...i realised it was totally sponsored! ha ha
climbed the great wall...one of the best events of the trip...realli satisfying when u reach the top of the wall overlooking the rest who are still struggling up (hahaha) so evil...but most really climbed halfway and stopped. me jj hui and my dad climbed all the way...and we all became hao han! haha.
went to the forbidden city and many other touristy places. really amazed by the chinese culture...it's really nice to know what kind of culture your ancestors come from you know...was taking this flight home when this china old man asked me wad dialect ( min nan) i was...took a long time to understand what he was trying to ask...then the worse came when he asked which part of fu jian was my ancestors from..boy was i ashamed. =(
the food there is dirt cheap! and i mean dirt cheap! had this korean buffet with a spread of dishes. the servings was so large the three of us cannot finish it. we were guessing how much our lunch will cost (we guessed 200 rmb = 40 s$) until the person came and said 78. we were like huh! in the end we paid s$5 per person!!!! we actually stared at the waiter before we gave him the money. hahaha
we had an 8 day trip, with 5 days tour and the remaining 3 days free and ez. the free and ez was fun too! i think i became addicted to bargaining after some time...hahaha.
hard to believe the month passed so fast. i'm graduated and had two trips and now looking for jobs! oh man. haha..hopefully the replies come fast though =)
went to bangkok with jean, bran, cece, ken, cher and qijia. first time moving around a country free and ez. it was really exciting. but sad to say the culture shock i got was pretty unpleasant. walked like hell for the four days there, shopping and eating and looking around...haha
went to beijing 5 days later with jj and hui and my family...seriously i think we didn't walked as much as i did when i was in Bangkok. yes..there were culture shocks but I guess the experiences i had in bangkok pretty much prepared me for this trip. the bargaining was superb. i can bargain from 540 rmb to 160 bucks...can u imagine. a top for 200 to 30 rmb....haha..so u can imagine how many things i got from there...best of all...i realised it was totally sponsored! ha ha
climbed the great wall...one of the best events of the trip...realli satisfying when u reach the top of the wall overlooking the rest who are still struggling up (hahaha) so evil...but most really climbed halfway and stopped. me jj hui and my dad climbed all the way...and we all became hao han! haha.
went to the forbidden city and many other touristy places. really amazed by the chinese culture...it's really nice to know what kind of culture your ancestors come from you know...was taking this flight home when this china old man asked me wad dialect ( min nan) i was...took a long time to understand what he was trying to ask...then the worse came when he asked which part of fu jian was my ancestors from..boy was i ashamed. =(
the food there is dirt cheap! and i mean dirt cheap! had this korean buffet with a spread of dishes. the servings was so large the three of us cannot finish it. we were guessing how much our lunch will cost (we guessed 200 rmb = 40 s$) until the person came and said 78. we were like huh! in the end we paid s$5 per person!!!! we actually stared at the waiter before we gave him the money. hahaha
we had an 8 day trip, with 5 days tour and the remaining 3 days free and ez. the free and ez was fun too! i think i became addicted to bargaining after some time...hahaha.
hard to believe the month passed so fast. i'm graduated and had two trips and now looking for jobs! oh man. haha..hopefully the replies come fast though =)
Monday, April 25, 2005
a tribute
before i forgot...a tribute to my favourite sister
Your presence we miss
Your memory we treasure,
Loving you always
Forgetting you never.
miss u always =)
Your presence we miss
Your memory we treasure,
Loving you always
Forgetting you never.
miss u always =)
pre graduation pinks
haha...y not blues? csos it's not that sad really.
borrowed a camera from my brudder dearest...shall go around doing my graduation scrapbook these few days...want to incorporate some fun into my already stressful and hectic exam timetable. hahaha.
am gonna miss vasity life alot. and i mean LOADS of it. those cooking sessions with friends...suppertime...gorging food and watching tv...plus stupid jokes and gossips...not forgetting all the cryings over the shoulders! and of cos heart to heart talks and the very amazing feeling of running solo. =) that's part of my hall life!
next to cca...well...been out of sports club for almost a year...remembered last year during this period i was so busy worrying for sports camp than exams! hah. will miss the club work still...haha...those carefree life when u still feel u had something important in your life.
school day! haa....not forgetting those super long bitchy conversations during breaks...hilarious and fun! and also the sleeping sessions during lectures!
hai...those were the days!
ooh...not forgetting the small gifts we exchanged over the years...whether it's food or playthings or cards and wishes...they are all part of the memories.
n i'm now eating the tau huey jups bought from rochor road...2nd one in this week...hahaha...so happy =)
borrowed a camera from my brudder dearest...shall go around doing my graduation scrapbook these few days...want to incorporate some fun into my already stressful and hectic exam timetable. hahaha.
am gonna miss vasity life alot. and i mean LOADS of it. those cooking sessions with friends...suppertime...gorging food and watching tv...plus stupid jokes and gossips...not forgetting all the cryings over the shoulders! and of cos heart to heart talks and the very amazing feeling of running solo. =) that's part of my hall life!
next to cca...well...been out of sports club for almost a year...remembered last year during this period i was so busy worrying for sports camp than exams! hah. will miss the club work still...haha...those carefree life when u still feel u had something important in your life.
school day! haa....not forgetting those super long bitchy conversations during breaks...hilarious and fun! and also the sleeping sessions during lectures!
hai...those were the days!
ooh...not forgetting the small gifts we exchanged over the years...whether it's food or playthings or cards and wishes...they are all part of the memories.
n i'm now eating the tau huey jups bought from rochor road...2nd one in this week...hahaha...so happy =)
Saturday, April 16, 2005
how time flies
for the past three weeks, i have been teaching every saturday at the kindergarten where i used to teach before i came to nus. got there early and started walking around looking at the pictures of the students.
the K1 kids that i thought had already graduated...most were now attending the p2 tuition class on saturday. was looking through the pics when i realised the nursery classes which i used to teach were the graduating class of 2004. remembered some faces from the pictures. some looked the same while others look more grown up. a look at their names printed at the bottom bought memories back. how i used to play with them, how cute they look when they were learning in class, and of cos the crazy questions they asked which always caught me offguard. kids...
was looking at all the faces when my eyes rested upon this little one. always thought she was very quiet in class. constantly holding hands with this other boy. used to think they like each other. remembered telling myself she will grow up to be a pretty ger, because she had very special features, and what was amazing was this bronze tan that she sport...it was as though her mom took her tanning every week.
it's amazing how time flies. it's already three years since she was in nursery. time was short but i wondered if she had lived her life well for the past three years. her life was short. she was one of the victims during the tsunami. went phuket with her parents and only her dad survived. it was wierd looking at her pic. will the boy sitting next to her remember her as he looked back at the graduating photos. will he even know she went away and was never coming back? i don't think so.
it just feels pained to see a life end so abruptly...i guess i juz took for granted that there's more years to go for a person. who is to know she wouldn't even reach primary one? 25 april is approaching...and at times like this u juz wish bad memories will be erased. this is the month when u'll start wondering if anyone remembered the person who died four years ago. that fateful wednesday when god took her away from us. perhaps none of us will mention it. perhaps some of us would visit her without others' knowledge. perhaps she is still deeply remembered. perhaps she has brought me lessons to be learnt. perhaps if she didn't go, she would be 12 this year. perhaps if she didn't leave, i wouldn't know the horror of death.
wierd to say...if not for her...i wouldn't even learn to appreciate pink color. haa. love u ning.
the K1 kids that i thought had already graduated...most were now attending the p2 tuition class on saturday. was looking through the pics when i realised the nursery classes which i used to teach were the graduating class of 2004. remembered some faces from the pictures. some looked the same while others look more grown up. a look at their names printed at the bottom bought memories back. how i used to play with them, how cute they look when they were learning in class, and of cos the crazy questions they asked which always caught me offguard. kids...
was looking at all the faces when my eyes rested upon this little one. always thought she was very quiet in class. constantly holding hands with this other boy. used to think they like each other. remembered telling myself she will grow up to be a pretty ger, because she had very special features, and what was amazing was this bronze tan that she sport...it was as though her mom took her tanning every week.
it's amazing how time flies. it's already three years since she was in nursery. time was short but i wondered if she had lived her life well for the past three years. her life was short. she was one of the victims during the tsunami. went phuket with her parents and only her dad survived. it was wierd looking at her pic. will the boy sitting next to her remember her as he looked back at the graduating photos. will he even know she went away and was never coming back? i don't think so.
it just feels pained to see a life end so abruptly...i guess i juz took for granted that there's more years to go for a person. who is to know she wouldn't even reach primary one? 25 april is approaching...and at times like this u juz wish bad memories will be erased. this is the month when u'll start wondering if anyone remembered the person who died four years ago. that fateful wednesday when god took her away from us. perhaps none of us will mention it. perhaps some of us would visit her without others' knowledge. perhaps she is still deeply remembered. perhaps she has brought me lessons to be learnt. perhaps if she didn't go, she would be 12 this year. perhaps if she didn't leave, i wouldn't know the horror of death.
wierd to say...if not for her...i wouldn't even learn to appreciate pink color. haa. love u ning.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
tagbox expiring...
flobber juz sent me an email...said my tagbox is super inactive and will be expiring soon...haa...help me post some msgs can?! hahaha
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Who am I - Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
Thursday, April 07, 2005
good and bad
went for tuition today...was feeling really sian abt it...was walking along the boon lay interchange when a little toddler bumped into me. he was going at such high speed i was amaze he didn't cry when his lips smacked against my thigh. haha...seemed like he was playing 'chase' with his mom. next min i know...he was staring at me agap...and he even waved goodbye...and gave me a super happy grin...sure made my day...so cute!
went for tuition...jesslyn (my tutee's sis) got a new tutor...and guess who? it's pauline...a friend from church...so qiao...singapore really very small!!! was teaching kathleen haldway when her golden retriever pounced on me. super friendly dog...licked my face...haha...was really happy to have so much attention...until her maid scolded the dog to go back into the shed. that's when i realised in the past 3 months that i've been here...i've only seen the dog twice...once when kathleen opened the shed for me to see and this second time.
asked kathleen when was the last time she played with her dog...she said it was two days ago...i was like 'don't u let it run around?' then she shook her head. jerry sure is being neglected! so evil. apparently, her dad bought it cos her big sis wanted it and rewarded her jerry when she got good results. asked her if her big sister (not jesslyn, still have a bigger one) played with it and she shrugged! can u imagine that?! you don't even know if your pet is getting attention from anyone. jerry looks like he's staying in the prison cell, only bigger. hai...so sad...was so tempted to call the spca and sue them for neglect.
kathleen was so upset when i told her how bad they were...imprisoning jerry like that...guess wad...she said i said that cos i wasn't the one rearing it...i was like 'if i know i'll treat it like what u did...i wouldn't even think about having one'...hai...then she said they didn't know golden retrievers would grow to be so big...i was like '!!!!!!' kids....and irresponsible parents. i cant imagine...kinda spoit my day though
went for tuition...jesslyn (my tutee's sis) got a new tutor...and guess who? it's pauline...a friend from church...so qiao...singapore really very small!!! was teaching kathleen haldway when her golden retriever pounced on me. super friendly dog...licked my face...haha...was really happy to have so much attention...until her maid scolded the dog to go back into the shed. that's when i realised in the past 3 months that i've been here...i've only seen the dog twice...once when kathleen opened the shed for me to see and this second time.
asked kathleen when was the last time she played with her dog...she said it was two days ago...i was like 'don't u let it run around?' then she shook her head. jerry sure is being neglected! so evil. apparently, her dad bought it cos her big sis wanted it and rewarded her jerry when she got good results. asked her if her big sister (not jesslyn, still have a bigger one) played with it and she shrugged! can u imagine that?! you don't even know if your pet is getting attention from anyone. jerry looks like he's staying in the prison cell, only bigger. hai...so sad...was so tempted to call the spca and sue them for neglect.
kathleen was so upset when i told her how bad they were...imprisoning jerry like that...guess wad...she said i said that cos i wasn't the one rearing it...i was like 'if i know i'll treat it like what u did...i wouldn't even think about having one'...hai...then she said they didn't know golden retrievers would grow to be so big...i was like '!!!!!!' kids....and irresponsible parents. i cant imagine...kinda spoit my day though
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
i'm in love...
haa...always thought anime wasn't nice until i found myself watching naruto...don't deny the fact that the long episodes did put me off in the first place though...haha...but the story line is great...with humourous parts and all..
and now...hahaha...i'm in love with an anime character...or should i say a few...haha
first it was uchiha satsuke...cool cool guy with a vengence
then it became his sensei hataka kakashi
always late and and reading a book!
haha...and now...didn't expect this...always thought he looked ugly until recent episodes.... nara shikamaru
realised i like guys with very angular features...sharp face strong jaws..haha...and definitely intelligent...and ppl who likes reading!!! oh man...i am so fickle =p
and now...hahaha...i'm in love with an anime character...or should i say a few...haha
first it was uchiha satsuke...cool cool guy with a vengence
then it became his sensei hataka kakashi
always late and and reading a book!haha...and now...didn't expect this...always thought he looked ugly until recent episodes.... nara shikamaru
realised i like guys with very angular features...sharp face strong jaws..haha...and definitely intelligent...and ppl who likes reading!!! oh man...i am so fickle =p
Sunday, March 20, 2005
~若无其事~
作词:葛大为作曲:光良编曲:max chew光良
你少看的书
最近翻了好几次
你变得沉默
什么都不坚持
你的唇边有某个句子
只是还没有对我表示
你的双眼中躲着另一个影子
还是我多心错看你的样子
不让怀疑淹没了理智
然而一切我很难解释
因为爱你我可以若无其事
不想不听没有追究的言辞
我们还在拥抱的彼此
所有心思原来是两件事
面对着我你何必若无其事
离开我你才能对自己诚实
回忆虽然难以收拾
若无其事不去面对现实
才讽刺
你少看的书
最近翻了好几次
你变得沉默
什么都不坚持
你的唇边有某个句子
只是还没有对我表示
你的双眼中躲着另一个影子
还是我多心错看你的样子
不让怀疑淹没了理智
然而一切我很难解释
因为爱你我可以若无其事
不想不听没有追究的言辞
我们还在拥抱的彼此
所有心思原来是两件事
面对着我你何必若无其事
离开我你才能对自己诚实
回忆虽然难以收拾
若无其事不去面对现实
才讽刺
Love of my life - Jim Brickman & Michael W. Smith
Uncle Jack sang this song during the dinner...so sweet...!~
I am amazed when I look at you,
I see you smiling back at me,
It's like all my dreams come true.
I am afraid if I lost you girl,
I'd fall through the cracks and lose my track,
In this crazy, lonely world.
Sometimes it's so hard to believe,
When my nights can be so long,
And faith gave me the strength,
and kept me holding on.
You are the love of my life,
And I'm so glad you found me,
You are the love of my life,
Baby put your arms around me,
I guess this is how it feels,
When you finally find something real.
My angel in the night, you are my love...
The love of my life.
Now here you are,
With midnight closing in.
You take my hand as our shadows dance,
With moonlight on your skin.
I look in your eyes,
I'm lost inside your kiss.
I think if I'd never met you,
about all the things I'd missed.
Sometimes it's so hard to believe,
When a love can be so strong,
And faith gives me the strength,
and kept me going on.
You are the love of my life,
And I'm so glad you found me,
You are the love of my life,
Baby put your arms around me,
I guess this is how it feels,
When you finally find something real.
My angel in the night, you're my love...
The love of my life.
You are the love of my life,
And I'm so glad you found me,
You are the love of my life,
Baby put your arms around me,
I guess this is how it feels,
When you finally find something real.
My angel in the night, you are my love...
My angel in the night, you are my love...
The love of my... life.
Heard he this was his proposal song too...apparently he sang this and proposed to her...haha...cannot imagine...used to think he was all serious and macho u noe...haha...love makes the world go haywire!
I am amazed when I look at you,
I see you smiling back at me,
It's like all my dreams come true.
I am afraid if I lost you girl,
I'd fall through the cracks and lose my track,
In this crazy, lonely world.
Sometimes it's so hard to believe,
When my nights can be so long,
And faith gave me the strength,
and kept me holding on.
You are the love of my life,
And I'm so glad you found me,
You are the love of my life,
Baby put your arms around me,
I guess this is how it feels,
When you finally find something real.
My angel in the night, you are my love...
The love of my life.
Now here you are,
With midnight closing in.
You take my hand as our shadows dance,
With moonlight on your skin.
I look in your eyes,
I'm lost inside your kiss.
I think if I'd never met you,
about all the things I'd missed.
Sometimes it's so hard to believe,
When a love can be so strong,
And faith gives me the strength,
and kept me going on.
You are the love of my life,
And I'm so glad you found me,
You are the love of my life,
Baby put your arms around me,
I guess this is how it feels,
When you finally find something real.
My angel in the night, you're my love...
The love of my life.
You are the love of my life,
And I'm so glad you found me,
You are the love of my life,
Baby put your arms around me,
I guess this is how it feels,
When you finally find something real.
My angel in the night, you are my love...
My angel in the night, you are my love...
The love of my... life.
Heard he this was his proposal song too...apparently he sang this and proposed to her...haha...cannot imagine...used to think he was all serious and macho u noe...haha...love makes the world go haywire!
the weekend
just finished typing out the animal behavior assignment. think i'm not sure what i wrote in it...it will be horribly graded...i can pretty much trust that intuition...well..let's make it a fact =(
wanted to sleep already...but juz tot i had to type something out...cos i'm using my bro's very nice lappie!!! hahaha...surprisingly that he lent me without screaming at me...he must have seen that depressed look on my face the moment he saw me in his room holding an almost crumpled piece of reading.
went to my uncle's wedding on friday...many ups and downs...disagreements over how things should work etc. i realised aunties are not very efficient (talking abt my mom)...not matter how much u explain the methods which is beneficial for everyone..they juz have to stick to their blardy ideas..gross...got along well with her after that though
went to the travel fair with my parents before the dinner at night...saw loads of shanghai packages...was deciding on which tour packages was the best until my mom dropped me a bomb. she suddenly said she doesn't want to go. what a disappointment...apparently she said she was worried for my brother and i think she had a disagreement with my dad regarding his work...then i was like 'wad the...' i dun deny i was being really rude to her cos she kept nagging at me the moment i walked into the house when i haven't done anything wrong...i yelled back at her and tat was it. she said i am not going anywhere cos i dun wanna have to spend my entire trip with you...then i was like fine.
was doing my essay halfway when she suddenly stepped into the hall and announce...i think i will go...but less days...then i was like where got packages for less days one...then she say...we will change the location...we will go beijing...i was like...'wad the...' refused to answer her...hate ppl who cannot make up their minds...dun they know how much inconveniences they are making? and all the wasted efforts to ask so much about shanghai packages at the natas fair...and now she's thinking of beijing..gross...pardon me...but i'm pretty much angered over her behavior..i guess she must be angered with me as well..but that's how we work...we can be best friends and the worst enemies!
alright...the friday dinner was surprising...my uncle actually sang a song for his beloved...my mom even commented it was the first time she heard him sing...haha...quite good actually...and definitely romantic...so envy
so many projects to hand in the next few days...getting very stressed up by it...realised my mood is getting very bad recently...but really thankful that there are many patient ppl around...first thing wy..who shut up the moment i said i dun wanna talk...friends who were out celebrating with me...jj,ber,hui,eileen and pf..not forgetting the flowers...jean who listened to my complains over sms...and my dad who sensed my ultimate disappointment and ask me if beijing was fine...in the end...i juz told him i'll go wherever he decides...
will be going bangkok...time to save up...and i haven't even applied for leave...gross...hai..time to sleep...have to meet bud tom still...and many things to do...n i haven' been running and my body is so lethargic...i want to stay young...full of vitality..hai...wierdly y am i not looking forward? i dunno.
wanted to sleep already...but juz tot i had to type something out...cos i'm using my bro's very nice lappie!!! hahaha...surprisingly that he lent me without screaming at me...he must have seen that depressed look on my face the moment he saw me in his room holding an almost crumpled piece of reading.
went to my uncle's wedding on friday...many ups and downs...disagreements over how things should work etc. i realised aunties are not very efficient (talking abt my mom)...not matter how much u explain the methods which is beneficial for everyone..they juz have to stick to their blardy ideas..gross...got along well with her after that though
went to the travel fair with my parents before the dinner at night...saw loads of shanghai packages...was deciding on which tour packages was the best until my mom dropped me a bomb. she suddenly said she doesn't want to go. what a disappointment...apparently she said she was worried for my brother and i think she had a disagreement with my dad regarding his work...then i was like 'wad the...' i dun deny i was being really rude to her cos she kept nagging at me the moment i walked into the house when i haven't done anything wrong...i yelled back at her and tat was it. she said i am not going anywhere cos i dun wanna have to spend my entire trip with you...then i was like fine.
was doing my essay halfway when she suddenly stepped into the hall and announce...i think i will go...but less days...then i was like where got packages for less days one...then she say...we will change the location...we will go beijing...i was like...'wad the...' refused to answer her...hate ppl who cannot make up their minds...dun they know how much inconveniences they are making? and all the wasted efforts to ask so much about shanghai packages at the natas fair...and now she's thinking of beijing..gross...pardon me...but i'm pretty much angered over her behavior..i guess she must be angered with me as well..but that's how we work...we can be best friends and the worst enemies!
alright...the friday dinner was surprising...my uncle actually sang a song for his beloved...my mom even commented it was the first time she heard him sing...haha...quite good actually...and definitely romantic...so envy
so many projects to hand in the next few days...getting very stressed up by it...realised my mood is getting very bad recently...but really thankful that there are many patient ppl around...first thing wy..who shut up the moment i said i dun wanna talk...friends who were out celebrating with me...jj,ber,hui,eileen and pf..not forgetting the flowers...jean who listened to my complains over sms...and my dad who sensed my ultimate disappointment and ask me if beijing was fine...in the end...i juz told him i'll go wherever he decides...
will be going bangkok...time to save up...and i haven't even applied for leave...gross...hai..time to sleep...have to meet bud tom still...and many things to do...n i haven' been running and my body is so lethargic...i want to stay young...full of vitality..hai...wierdly y am i not looking forward? i dunno.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
stolen scriptures
copied all these from jx's blog..think it's really helpful
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:16 & John 3:34)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your anxiety on ME
(I Peter 5:7)
yeah...things getting hazy these few days...have done quite alot of unforgivable things...feeling desperate and helpless...gross...sometimes being in this situation juz makes u feel stagnated...do you feel happy or do you not? oxymoronic
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:16 & John 3:34)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your anxiety on ME
(I Peter 5:7)
yeah...things getting hazy these few days...have done quite alot of unforgivable things...feeling desperate and helpless...gross...sometimes being in this situation juz makes u feel stagnated...do you feel happy or do you not? oxymoronic
Thursday, March 10, 2005
deep sigh....HAAAAAAAAAAI!!!
there's been like so many things happening recently...i'm started to think life is like a pile of shit...well...to be exact...the reality of life has perhaps made me feel so darn exhausted about competition. how one person can be so bitchy and slutty to get her way through to things.
i thought i was evil enough until i realised what she did was even worse. oh man...such a person exist? how do they sleep at night? how do they come out with new ideas to cover up their stupid asses for every lie they make? how can they still be alive? how come they do not feel anything about their actions at all?!
i guess this only boils down to one fact. the society breeds this kinda ppl. and only these kind of ppl can survive. why?! we tried getting a step ahead of her and guess what. she's so smart. whatever step that we take still will lead us into a situation where we will still get burned and her getting her way. what is this?!
thought i was evil enough already...writing the report was a torture...trying to point fingers at someone, even when she was evil. felt so hurtful for the dirt that can come out of her mouth. asked eric why is she so evil...and he said : we also can be evil...we juz dun have the heart to do it. so bottomline is...she's heartless... eric eric...always the one to pinpoint the fact but subtle enough to cover his own ass. office politics is scary... now i'm not even sure who's pointing at who. this is getting horrible.
in spite of this issue...i'm starting to get pek cek over the condition of my body. my back is suffering from an inumerable and irritation disease. sometimes it's pain, sometimes it's scratchy...sometimes it's pimple...wad the hell? the skin looks bad...redness and all...and that means i have to burn a hole in my pocket again!! arggh...the doc's fee is high!!!! arggh!!!
next! the ants problem...wad's w the ants? i've already thrown away the bag that was sweetened with candies (i noe it's disgusting) but why do they keep appearing?! arggh. on my tables...from my keyboard...from the printer! arggh...getting irritated over it already!
whywhywhy?! uncle jack's wedding is next week and i haven't got my dress!!! and i'm still so fat!!! feel so tired recently and running is definitely not an option for me...gross...why?!
i thought i was evil enough until i realised what she did was even worse. oh man...such a person exist? how do they sleep at night? how do they come out with new ideas to cover up their stupid asses for every lie they make? how can they still be alive? how come they do not feel anything about their actions at all?!
i guess this only boils down to one fact. the society breeds this kinda ppl. and only these kind of ppl can survive. why?! we tried getting a step ahead of her and guess what. she's so smart. whatever step that we take still will lead us into a situation where we will still get burned and her getting her way. what is this?!
thought i was evil enough already...writing the report was a torture...trying to point fingers at someone, even when she was evil. felt so hurtful for the dirt that can come out of her mouth. asked eric why is she so evil...and he said : we also can be evil...we juz dun have the heart to do it. so bottomline is...she's heartless... eric eric...always the one to pinpoint the fact but subtle enough to cover his own ass. office politics is scary... now i'm not even sure who's pointing at who. this is getting horrible.
in spite of this issue...i'm starting to get pek cek over the condition of my body. my back is suffering from an inumerable and irritation disease. sometimes it's pain, sometimes it's scratchy...sometimes it's pimple...wad the hell? the skin looks bad...redness and all...and that means i have to burn a hole in my pocket again!! arggh...the doc's fee is high!!!! arggh!!!
next! the ants problem...wad's w the ants? i've already thrown away the bag that was sweetened with candies (i noe it's disgusting) but why do they keep appearing?! arggh. on my tables...from my keyboard...from the printer! arggh...getting irritated over it already!
whywhywhy?! uncle jack's wedding is next week and i haven't got my dress!!! and i'm still so fat!!! feel so tired recently and running is definitely not an option for me...gross...why?!
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Try a little tenderness
by michael buble...lyric is really true...know how good women will do to guys if they treat them good...haha...sometimes the only way to get through anything that revolves around a woman is juz tenderness...no? haa
Try a little tendernessShe may be weary
Women do get weary
Wearing the same shabby dress
And when she's weary
Try a little tenderness
Ooh, she may be waiting
Just anticipating
Things she may never possess
While she's without them
Try a little tenderness
It's not just sentimental
She has her grief and her care
But a word so soft and gentle
Nakes it easier to bear
You won't regret it
Women don't forget it
Love is they're whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Try a little tenderness
But a word
Soft and gentle
Makes it easier to bear
You won't regret it
Cause women don't forget it
Love is their whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Just try a little tenderness
You've gotta try
You've gotta hold her
You've got to squeeze her
You've got to try
You've got to try
And always please her
You won't regret it
You won't regret it
Oh, try a little tenderness
Try a little tendernessShe may be weary
Women do get weary
Wearing the same shabby dress
And when she's weary
Try a little tenderness
Ooh, she may be waiting
Just anticipating
Things she may never possess
While she's without them
Try a little tenderness
It's not just sentimental
She has her grief and her care
But a word so soft and gentle
Nakes it easier to bear
You won't regret it
Women don't forget it
Love is they're whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Try a little tenderness
But a word
Soft and gentle
Makes it easier to bear
You won't regret it
Cause women don't forget it
Love is their whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Just try a little tenderness
You've gotta try
You've gotta hold her
You've got to squeeze her
You've got to try
You've got to try
And always please her
You won't regret it
You won't regret it
Oh, try a little tenderness
Friday, March 04, 2005
Ahaaaaaaa!!!
juz came back from jogging...sometimes i wonder why is it especially so tiring to jog in the morning....running around in school at night is definitely a longer distance...but why do i feel 6 rounds on the track in the morning is enough to make my knees weak? came to the conclusion that it must be too early and my 'still not motivated to slim down' body is not reluctant to run the extra mile.
remembered praying yesterday night that god will gimme the strength to wake up and run in the morning...was suppose to wake up at 730...but finally dragged myself out of bed at 748...still half sleeping on the track when i ran though. was desperately trying to wake myself up. had said a silent prayer for strength b4 my legs started moving. was running towards the end of the first round when something caught my eye. it was a tiny full-bodied creature lying on the 1st lane...it wasn't moving and there were flies hovering over it.
it was when i opened up my damn eyes and saw it was a damn rat. it was so grotesque! arrghhh. that was definitely enough to wake me up and start running the next few rounds. but i made sure i constantly kept a clear distance from it...somebody once told me there will be fumes around dead ran and they are poisonous! being the kiasee me (not afraid to own up to that...i m kiasee)...i started running further after every round. paranoia kinda gripped me...i was caught in between running and going back...haaz.
then i suddenly remembered my prayer...to gimme strength and wake me up...that dead thing certainly did...and i'm sure my eyes will still be up all through the day. suddenly i was thinking 'i said wake up i didn't say to see this kinda scary thing' but then again my prayers were answered right? and god did more than that...as i progress from lane 1 to lane 6...i think i ran a couple of metres more...hahaha.. but back to to issue where i didn't ask for this...well well...i didn't ask for many other things...but got still gave rite? yupyup.
wad a great! (great....) morning.
remembered praying yesterday night that god will gimme the strength to wake up and run in the morning...was suppose to wake up at 730...but finally dragged myself out of bed at 748...still half sleeping on the track when i ran though. was desperately trying to wake myself up. had said a silent prayer for strength b4 my legs started moving. was running towards the end of the first round when something caught my eye. it was a tiny full-bodied creature lying on the 1st lane...it wasn't moving and there were flies hovering over it.
it was when i opened up my damn eyes and saw it was a damn rat. it was so grotesque! arrghhh. that was definitely enough to wake me up and start running the next few rounds. but i made sure i constantly kept a clear distance from it...somebody once told me there will be fumes around dead ran and they are poisonous! being the kiasee me (not afraid to own up to that...i m kiasee)...i started running further after every round. paranoia kinda gripped me...i was caught in between running and going back...haaz.
then i suddenly remembered my prayer...to gimme strength and wake me up...that dead thing certainly did...and i'm sure my eyes will still be up all through the day. suddenly i was thinking 'i said wake up i didn't say to see this kinda scary thing' but then again my prayers were answered right? and god did more than that...as i progress from lane 1 to lane 6...i think i ran a couple of metres more...hahaha.. but back to to issue where i didn't ask for this...well well...i didn't ask for many other things...but got still gave rite? yupyup.
wad a great! (great....) morning.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
The red shoes
i remembered reading this story by the Hans Christian Andersons brothers when i was young. i love the story....but wierdly i'm not sure why. perhaps because this story was different from the rest of the story...stories they told usually talk about the good guys and the bad guys...a distinction to tell kids how one should behave when they grow up. the red shoes...on the other hand, was tragic. a girl who have a favourite pair of shoes doesn't seem like an evil character at all. she had to have her legs cut off in the end. it was tragic and sad...and there was nothing to be learnt. well, at least that was what i thought.
went tuition today and my tutee started asking me to read this story...and amazingly it was 'the red shoes'. i was really surprised because not many had heard this story..and i could vividly remembered how much i like the story and i couldn't share it with others. there she goes asking me how can that story end like that...why does it have a sad ending.. i reread the story and realised there was a lesson to be learnt.
karen, the protagonist was born into a poor family. she was adopted by an old lady after the death of her mother. she was beatuiful but she had an obsession with the red shoes that was bought for her. she started thinking about how beautiful her shoes and the only thoughts inside her were about the red shoes. she forgot her duties and went against rules...all because of the red shoes. then somebody cast a spell on the shoes and she ended up dancing and dancing..she couldn't stop and she had to have her legs chopped off.
tragic isn't it? for the full story go to http://hca.gilead.org.il/red_shoe.html..it's a good read. i think i've learnt so much from it and sad to say...this story apply in our lives so much that it hurts to even think that such a lesson could be garnered from a story like this. the bottom line is...for every mistake u make...there should be a consequence..and after that consequence life must go on...i got another understanding though...it was a christian sort of way...the red shoes was like money...and the little girl was thinking about that all the time...so much that she forgets ppl who love her...she goes to church only thinking about her shoes...she forgots to take care of the old lady who adopted her because of her shoes...the red shoes somehow signified material wants...the person who cast the spell was an angel and she chopped her legs away...it was like god's wrath on her...by taking away her legs...the only thing that the shoes can wear...and the old lady...the only person who cared for her...she beared the consequences...and went back to god again...never needing such shoes...and god and the people around her forgave her. so wierd...it's like what the scriptures are talking about. the story is tragic...what a way to show god's wrath... somehow god gave mercy in the end and helped her through the period...telling her material needs only bring bad consequences..
amazing isn't it? i was enlightened seriously =)
thank god
went tuition today and my tutee started asking me to read this story...and amazingly it was 'the red shoes'. i was really surprised because not many had heard this story..and i could vividly remembered how much i like the story and i couldn't share it with others. there she goes asking me how can that story end like that...why does it have a sad ending.. i reread the story and realised there was a lesson to be learnt.
karen, the protagonist was born into a poor family. she was adopted by an old lady after the death of her mother. she was beatuiful but she had an obsession with the red shoes that was bought for her. she started thinking about how beautiful her shoes and the only thoughts inside her were about the red shoes. she forgot her duties and went against rules...all because of the red shoes. then somebody cast a spell on the shoes and she ended up dancing and dancing..she couldn't stop and she had to have her legs chopped off.
tragic isn't it? for the full story go to http://hca.gilead.org.il/red_shoe.html..it's a good read. i think i've learnt so much from it and sad to say...this story apply in our lives so much that it hurts to even think that such a lesson could be garnered from a story like this. the bottom line is...for every mistake u make...there should be a consequence..and after that consequence life must go on...i got another understanding though...it was a christian sort of way...the red shoes was like money...and the little girl was thinking about that all the time...so much that she forgets ppl who love her...she goes to church only thinking about her shoes...she forgots to take care of the old lady who adopted her because of her shoes...the red shoes somehow signified material wants...the person who cast the spell was an angel and she chopped her legs away...it was like god's wrath on her...by taking away her legs...the only thing that the shoes can wear...and the old lady...the only person who cared for her...she beared the consequences...and went back to god again...never needing such shoes...and god and the people around her forgave her. so wierd...it's like what the scriptures are talking about. the story is tragic...what a way to show god's wrath... somehow god gave mercy in the end and helped her through the period...telling her material needs only bring bad consequences..
amazing isn't it? i was enlightened seriously =)
thank god
Friday, February 25, 2005
pek cek!
got so pek cek with the residents...the whole pantry is a mess...clogged sinks, dirty floors, oily counters, burning leftovers on the hotpan....gross...decided to send an email to them...this is like dunno how many times i sent an email regarding the same things...looks like the difference between all the emails that i sent were the decrease in tolerance level when typing them out!
here's the transcript... the one in brackets are the ones which i wished i had included!
PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING> HIGHLY IMPORTANT
Dear residents,
Just some housekeeping reminders(!!!)... (in case you dunno some of the terms i've used...kindly check the dictionary...cos i realised past emails don't seem to work...)
1) The sinks are choked again.(@#$@%@$%@) Please do remember to use the filter. For those who have no idea what a filter is, it is the device that is placed at the area where the water flows out. (If you still have no idea....please come knocking on my door...524 and i'll personally show you what it is and how it is to be used) Please remember to use that when you are washing your dishes. Kindly dispose whatever residue (the solid food that is washed down from the dirty plates) that is left after the washing. The sink in the third pantry is very badly choked. Seemed like someone had dispose oil through the sink (you know who u r...there are only two vietnamese cooking there). As for the other two pantries, the filters are not utilised as much as they have to (meaning please use them all the time!). Chokes happen quite frequently (very frequently to be exact...you don't wanna make me ask you to pay for maintenance rite?).
2) Please remember to wash your dishes straight after cooking (I know who you are). Please do not leave your dishes overnight. Dishes that are left overnight give off a bad smell, and they attract pests as well. (i'm gonna throw away every pot and pans that are left overnight)
3) Please clean up any spill after you cook (This pantry is not yours alone!). Our poor cleaning aunties have to help clean up any oil or sauces that are spilled over the counter (FYI, they are not suppose to be your maids...you clean up your own act). In addition to that, it makes the whole pantry look like a mess, not forgetting they attract pests as well (u realise more mosquitoes now? maybe they breed from the stagnant water from your unwashed pots).
4) Please do not place wet pots on the hot pans (told you many times already...hot pan spoil...everyone has to pay! i'm not going to ask for pardon...think you don't deserve it!). This might actually cost a black out because of short circuit. We don't want any refrigerator malfunction again right?
Our hostel is our home (our home!!!! and we want it clean!!!!). Please be considerate and make this home hospitable (a varsity student cannot practice consideration makes the education go down the drain). We can all do our part (actually is a few black sheep should try to do your part to keep our HOME clean...and not dirty it!). We each have a share in doing this housekeeping. An inconsiderate act will make another very inconvenient (I think it's time for you to realise that...i stopped going to the pantries because they are so dirty!). I believe we can all work this out together (pls...pls...).
Zhengyi (super sian diao)
68748562
super grossed out by them...it's no wonder i stopped smiling when i see them...gross
here's the transcript... the one in brackets are the ones which i wished i had included!
PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING> HIGHLY IMPORTANT
Dear residents,
Just some housekeeping reminders(!!!)... (in case you dunno some of the terms i've used...kindly check the dictionary...cos i realised past emails don't seem to work...)
1) The sinks are choked again.(@#$@%@$%@) Please do remember to use the filter. For those who have no idea what a filter is, it is the device that is placed at the area where the water flows out. (If you still have no idea....please come knocking on my door...524 and i'll personally show you what it is and how it is to be used) Please remember to use that when you are washing your dishes. Kindly dispose whatever residue (the solid food that is washed down from the dirty plates) that is left after the washing. The sink in the third pantry is very badly choked. Seemed like someone had dispose oil through the sink (you know who u r...there are only two vietnamese cooking there). As for the other two pantries, the filters are not utilised as much as they have to (meaning please use them all the time!). Chokes happen quite frequently (very frequently to be exact...you don't wanna make me ask you to pay for maintenance rite?).
2) Please remember to wash your dishes straight after cooking (I know who you are). Please do not leave your dishes overnight. Dishes that are left overnight give off a bad smell, and they attract pests as well. (i'm gonna throw away every pot and pans that are left overnight)
3) Please clean up any spill after you cook (This pantry is not yours alone!). Our poor cleaning aunties have to help clean up any oil or sauces that are spilled over the counter (FYI, they are not suppose to be your maids...you clean up your own act). In addition to that, it makes the whole pantry look like a mess, not forgetting they attract pests as well (u realise more mosquitoes now? maybe they breed from the stagnant water from your unwashed pots).
4) Please do not place wet pots on the hot pans (told you many times already...hot pan spoil...everyone has to pay! i'm not going to ask for pardon...think you don't deserve it!). This might actually cost a black out because of short circuit. We don't want any refrigerator malfunction again right?
Our hostel is our home (our home!!!! and we want it clean!!!!). Please be considerate and make this home hospitable (a varsity student cannot practice consideration makes the education go down the drain). We can all do our part (actually is a few black sheep should try to do your part to keep our HOME clean...and not dirty it!). We each have a share in doing this housekeeping. An inconsiderate act will make another very inconvenient (I think it's time for you to realise that...i stopped going to the pantries because they are so dirty!). I believe we can all work this out together (pls...pls...).
Zhengyi (super sian diao)
68748562
super grossed out by them...it's no wonder i stopped smiling when i see them...gross
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
victory~~!!!!
i used to enjoy teaching this tutee of mine, until i realised something which is intrinsically characteristic in her family.
i thought she was quite a sad case in the beginning...parents pressurizing her to study and sort...and at her age feeling stupid and pathetic just because the rest of her sisters are doing better than her. after a month of visits, i started to see that there was more to that than the innocent and harmless ten-year-old girl.
i started to dread tuitioning her. it was pressurizing juz to go to her house and teach and i wasn't sure why. at first i thought it was the parents having high expectations on me...then the thought dawn on me. the girl has no respect for me at all!! hai... she yaks and yaks throughout the lesson and i can't even get things done. after much persistence for her to hurry up...she juz looks at me and smirks and continue her yak. everything to her is juz fun. she can tell me she doesn't want to do corrections too!
what about the parents? they come in once in a while to ask me about her progress. i just told them she's careless and that she needs to build up her english language. there the father comes telling me how i should do...monitor her reading....show her the books to read...how i should teach blahblahblah. and the mom was telling me you should put in more effort...
how to not feel pressurize?
two incidents which made me got pek cek:
incident 1
dad: so what do you think of her progress? can make it?
zee: she's smart by nature....but she's careless...and her language structure not as strong...so need to buck up
dad: so how u think can improve?
zee: read...ask her to read more books.
dad: so why didn't u ask her to read more books? maybe u can go lib help her borrow some books...then make her read? a reading schedule maybe?
zee: <$%^^&* > i've already asked her to read...and i've chosen a book from YOUR library...she keeps complaining i give her so many hw...and she doesn't have time to read... what i would suggest is you monitor her...cos i'll only be here 3 hrs a week...better right? no matter how much i push she don't budge i can't do anything...
incident 2
mom: how's her progress?
zee: ok not bad...just her language.
mom: you must put in more effort you know..
zee: <$%^&&*> huh? i've asked her to do stuffs and she doesn't...there's nothing i can do...she doesn't seem to have the motivation to start...always very slow and all...
mom: then it's ur job to make her do it
zee: <@#@#$%^%^> er...let's juz put it this way...she simply doesn't respect me at all...it's difficult for me to teach (and i've already told her b4 of the unfinished hw and the mom didn't seem to react much to that!)
mom: girl ar...if u don't do well huh...daddy will punish u one
kathleen: punish the teacher la...y punish me
zee: (super pek cek) i can only do as much as i can...the rest is up to her and u
incident 3
mom: hey...u slim down alot recently...u on diet huh?
zee: no lei...think i've grown bigger..
mom: no lar...i think u really slim down... dieting right?
zee: no la...grown fatter
mom: haa...ok la...u continue with ur teaching.
mom walks off and come back seconds later
mom: btw ar...u're suppose to say thank you.
zee: "ha ha ha"
gross..was super pek cek after the last incident...parents always make me feel i'm not good enough...like i'm a super despo person who die die must have this tuition job...worse thing is...the parents always tell me how bz they are and employing a tutor is cheaper blahblahblah...and the kid has come to think that anybody who's poor would not have a tutor...gross..
was dreading going tuition today...cos the mom always last min change the shedule...there kathleen was again...wasting time by yakking n yakking...i swear it takes a full five mins for her to even get ready her pen to write...and another five min to flip the page...gross
there she was getting on my nerves...when she said this: i EXPECT you to teach me blahblah today"
that was when i blew my top and i said:" what do u mean you expect me to do this? how can i continue when u r so slow? if u still continue expecting me to do this or that....i'd rather not teach! do you know you are the rudest girl i've ever taught? you simply have no respect for your teachers...do you use the word 'expect' on your parents? i don't think so...so DO NOT use this word one me...and please show me respect from now on. I can play with you and talk to you...but when i am teaching...i expect u to shut up and do your work!
haa...i won...the lesson went on smoothly and she totally shut up!!
victory never taste so good...
i thought she was quite a sad case in the beginning...parents pressurizing her to study and sort...and at her age feeling stupid and pathetic just because the rest of her sisters are doing better than her. after a month of visits, i started to see that there was more to that than the innocent and harmless ten-year-old girl.
i started to dread tuitioning her. it was pressurizing juz to go to her house and teach and i wasn't sure why. at first i thought it was the parents having high expectations on me...then the thought dawn on me. the girl has no respect for me at all!! hai... she yaks and yaks throughout the lesson and i can't even get things done. after much persistence for her to hurry up...she juz looks at me and smirks and continue her yak. everything to her is juz fun. she can tell me she doesn't want to do corrections too!
what about the parents? they come in once in a while to ask me about her progress. i just told them she's careless and that she needs to build up her english language. there the father comes telling me how i should do...monitor her reading....show her the books to read...how i should teach blahblahblah. and the mom was telling me you should put in more effort...
how to not feel pressurize?
two incidents which made me got pek cek:
incident 1
dad: so what do you think of her progress? can make it?
zee: she's smart by nature....but she's careless...and her language structure not as strong...so need to buck up
dad: so how u think can improve?
zee: read...ask her to read more books.
dad: so why didn't u ask her to read more books? maybe u can go lib help her borrow some books...then make her read? a reading schedule maybe?
zee: <$%^^&* > i've already asked her to read...and i've chosen a book from YOUR library...she keeps complaining i give her so many hw...and she doesn't have time to read... what i would suggest is you monitor her...cos i'll only be here 3 hrs a week...better right? no matter how much i push she don't budge i can't do anything...
incident 2
mom: how's her progress?
zee: ok not bad...just her language.
mom: you must put in more effort you know..
zee: <$%^&&*> huh? i've asked her to do stuffs and she doesn't...there's nothing i can do...she doesn't seem to have the motivation to start...always very slow and all...
mom: then it's ur job to make her do it
zee: <@#@#$%^%^> er...let's juz put it this way...she simply doesn't respect me at all...it's difficult for me to teach (and i've already told her b4 of the unfinished hw and the mom didn't seem to react much to that!)
mom: girl ar...if u don't do well huh...daddy will punish u one
kathleen: punish the teacher la...y punish me
zee: (super pek cek) i can only do as much as i can...the rest is up to her and u
incident 3
mom: hey...u slim down alot recently...u on diet huh?
zee: no lei...think i've grown bigger..
mom: no lar...i think u really slim down... dieting right?
zee: no la...grown fatter
mom: haa...ok la...u continue with ur teaching.
mom walks off and come back seconds later
mom: btw ar...u're suppose to say thank you.
zee: "ha ha ha"
gross..was super pek cek after the last incident...parents always make me feel i'm not good enough...like i'm a super despo person who die die must have this tuition job...worse thing is...the parents always tell me how bz they are and employing a tutor is cheaper blahblahblah...and the kid has come to think that anybody who's poor would not have a tutor...gross..
was dreading going tuition today...cos the mom always last min change the shedule...there kathleen was again...wasting time by yakking n yakking...i swear it takes a full five mins for her to even get ready her pen to write...and another five min to flip the page...gross
there she was getting on my nerves...when she said this: i EXPECT you to teach me blahblah today"
that was when i blew my top and i said:" what do u mean you expect me to do this? how can i continue when u r so slow? if u still continue expecting me to do this or that....i'd rather not teach! do you know you are the rudest girl i've ever taught? you simply have no respect for your teachers...do you use the word 'expect' on your parents? i don't think so...so DO NOT use this word one me...and please show me respect from now on. I can play with you and talk to you...but when i am teaching...i expect u to shut up and do your work!
haa...i won...the lesson went on smoothly and she totally shut up!!
victory never taste so good...